Posts tagged Kids

Money Tips to build your kids financial habits early with Stephanie Uchima-Carney

Stephanie Uchima-Carney, host of the Mommy’s on a Call podcast shares easy and fun tips for getting kids on the right track to be Financial Grownups

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Website - https://www.stephanieuchima.com

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Full Transcript:

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, grown up friends. A big thank you to so many of you that have already bought my new book, Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your Almost Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart. This book was not easy to write, because I had to get honest with myself about what was working with my teen and young adult kids and what was not working. And I also had to be prepared to share it with all of you. So, first of all, thank you for your support and your wonderful responses to it. There's definitely some things in there that you may not have been expecting to hear. By the way, I got a lot of help from my money expert friends and also financial therapists and parenting experts. I am really happy with how launching Financial Grownups came out, even though it really was hard to be, like I said, that honest, and it was a lot of work, but I really love doing it. And I'm really happy with how it came out.

Bobbi Rebell:
On that note, if you have not already, please pick up a copy of launching Financial Grownups today. After you do, please share it on social media. Please leave a review on Amazon. Those reviews are super important, because the algorithm picks up on them and that can make the book a lot more visible to more people. So I truly appreciate it. And I really also appreciate all of your support.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
It's not that they really wanted that fancy purse because their girlfriend had, it's because they wanted it because they wanted to feel a part of something. And so how can you recreate that sensation and how can you recreate that that makes sense for your family?

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to money tips for Financial Grownups with me certified financial planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of launching Financial Grownups, because you know what grown up life is really hard, but together we got this.

Bobbi Rebell:
Haven't we all been there? Seeing something cool that our friends have or hearing about an amazing vacation we would love to go on, but it's not always in our budget. For parents, if that want is coming from our kids, it's tough, but it can also be an opportunity. And that's what we are talking about today with our guest. Stephanie Uchima is a business strategist, wellness coach and the host of the podcast, Mommy's on a Call. She's a mom of three who has learned to leverage those kid-driven wishlist into really effective money lessons. She uses everyday events as well as planned games and experiences to make money lessons real. And her tips are for more than moms.

Bobbi Rebell:
Stephanie and I talk about so many great things, including the stock market game, which she will explain, it's for older kids and getting your kids to open up about what they really want when they ask for expensive things and pricey vacations. The truth is that's not often what they're actually after. Here is Stephanie Uchima. Stephanie Uchima-Carney, you're a financial grownup. Welcome to the podcast.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
Thank you for having me, Bobbi.

Bobbi Rebell:
I am a huge fan of your podcast, by the way, which is Mommy's on a Call. You're also a business strategist and a wellness coach. And of course, because your podcast is Mommy's on a Call, you also are the mom of three kids. So welcome.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
Thank you for having me. Yes. Three little kids.

Bobbi Rebell:
Three very little kids, one of which was a pandemic baby, so you have your hands full. we recently connected at a conference and we were talking a lot about, because I write about teaching older kids about money, you have a passion for teaching the youngest children about money. And so I asked you to come on here to give some tips to people who may have younger kids in their lives, their own kids maybe, maybe their grandkids, maybe their friends' kids, maybe their nieces and nephews. But I think there's never a time too early when the kid expresses interest to teach a child about money. Tell us more about why you're so interested in this. Have there been things that have come up in your life that have brought this to be top of mind for you?

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
Yes. Well, so I kind of went on this journey of working on my own money mindset and really thinking about my own personal relationship with money. And I realized a lot of money relates back to your youth, back to your childhood. People have asked, "What's your very first memory of money? And so when I started to do my own reflection on that, I realized, "Wow, my own relationship with money has to do with when I was a very, very little kid." And so if I was a little kid when it shaped the future of my relationship with money as an adult, I need get to start early with my own children, so I don't basically screw them up for the future either. And so thinking about that, I was like, "Okay, let's learn more. I know they're young." So my kids are currently two, almost four and almost seven.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
They have play money, they have different things, but how can I start to instill the values and the relationship with money at an early age, so that when they are almost 40 years old going on a money mindset track down memory lane, they don't say, "Oh my goodness. Yeah, my mom and dad really screwed me up in the beginning."

Bobbi Rebell:
How do you teach little kids about money? Do you let them see what's going on on your phone, for example, when you pay for things?

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
So we actually to just play with play money and I know they've seen Venmo, but they don't really understand what the digital money is. And I honestly think for toddlers and for little kids, that's a little much, but we do have play credit cards. And so my daughters are only two and almost four and they have a Mini Mouse grocery set and we play actual cash, like cash register and grocery. So there's a little cash register on it. It has fake money. It has one for a dollar, five for a five little coins and we go through it. I'm like, "I want eggs. The eggs are a dollar. Here's my money." I give it to them and they give it back or they understand that there's an exchange. And I always say, "It's not just money for something, it's also an energy exchange."

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
So I go on it on two different ways. And I know that could sound a little woo. But I always say, "Money is just an exchange for the value you're giving me. Money is exchanged for a product, money's exchange for a service." We use money as a universal tool to help get different things. And so they have two cash registers. They have a learning resources, one, a mini mouse one, and we literally just play. So my big thing is teaching toddlers and little kids is to do it through play. So have them have their own little wallet with their own fake credit card. And sometimes I'll say, "Oh, I don't think you can buy that today. You need to make a choice between these two items, because you only have $5 and this one's $8 and this one's $1. You can get five of these." We play.

Bobbi Rebell:
How do you do that with the credit card? Do you teach them that they have to pay it in full at the end of the month? How does that work? Do you come back to it on a different day? Do you teach them about interest and what would happen if they had a late payment? How far can you take it, especially for your almost seven year old.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
So the seven year old, that's funny, because for a while he was like, "Oh, just charge it," or, "Just put it on that." And I looked at him and I said, "Honey, what do you think happens once you give this magical card?" Especially like Amazon, for example, because everything is one touch. He's like, "Just buy that on Amazon." And I'm like, "Oh, I can just buy it. It magically appears, but then what?" Then how does that work? And so we do. We talk to him about the concept of "It's not just magic. It doesn't just appear. There's a cost for things. And so if you want that, it's going to be this amount. And even though you give this magical thing and it happens, it still has to come from somewhere." And so it's really hard. It's easier when it's physical. I think it's really hard, at least personally, to teach them digital. But we also love using manipulatives and he loves math. So that's helpful is that he loves math.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
So anytime he goes to a store, he'll look at different numbers and prices of things and we'll play games like, "What's that plus that?" Or, "If I bought two of those, how much would it be?" And so we play around with that to help also academically.

Bobbi Rebell:
You also play the stock market game, so they can learn to invest with play money. And that actually is all online.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
So that's for older kids. So a little side note is I substitute taught sixth grade math for fun. I was actually a math major back in college, but never pursued that route. Recently, someone asked if I would substitute teach sixth grade and I said, "Why not? It'd be fun." And they're like, "Oh, and they have this thing called the stock project." So this is more for 11 year olds and 12 year olds. And I was like, "Oh, what's this?" And I started to research it and play it with them. And I think it's such a fun tool for probably 10 to 12 year olds is the stock market game. They were telling me, I was asking them questions. I was like, "Which stocks are you buying? Why are you buying that? What's interesting about that. Okay. If you decide to sell that," and it's really fun, that's all online. But it's a good resource because they can play with their play money. And when they lose, they understand that, because they can see the charts in front of them.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
And so I think that's a good tool. Also introducing them to what stocks are. What is investing? What does this mean outside of the way money works just in your house, how money can be invested and why companies need money and how that all works?

Bobbi Rebell:
You also talk a lot about how you can get your kids interested in savings and in automated savings and things like that. Talk about that and your unique approach to that.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
My kids still right now aren't really intrinsically motivated by money. They don't still really understand. Like my son, for example, his birthday's coming up. He's like, "I want this Pokemon thing." And so he has a little piggy bank. We go old school here. And he saved his tooth fairy money. He saved his birthday gift money. And then also I said, "You know what, instead of just leaving it here in your piggy bank, mommy's going to take that and we're going to open up a bank account for you."

Bobbi Rebell:
What's your advice to parents whose kids come home from school or whatever activities they have and, especially as we're hopefully emerging from the pandemic, parents are finally taking those trips that they put off for so long. You asked me this question now I'm putting it right back at you. And they hear about, for example, to use your example, they hear about their friend going to Hawaii. What do you do to your kid that comes home and asks mom, "Can we go on this trip that my friend is going on? We should do that too." And it's not that they're necessarily materialistic. They don't even necessarily know. But how do you manage that?

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
You're putting me on the spot now on my own question. The way I look at it is today, my son actually said, "I want to go to Hawaii to go rock climbing." And I looked at him and I said, "Rock climbing? What do you mean? We never have been rock climbing in Hawaii." He's like, "Remember that time we climbed on rocks?" I was like, "You mean in Joshua Tree?" I was like, "So you don't actually want to go to Hawaii. You just want the experience of rock climbing? Well, let's look at other places that we can drive to that's close that you can do that." I know a lot of kids are going on trips, especially like Disneyland or things like that. "Why does he get to go? Why don't I get to go?" And I always say kind of like what you say is "Our family makes different choices and we choose for our family and what's best for our family. And so this time we think it's fun since you guys have never been to," I think, well, we're going to a summer camp.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
"Since you guys have never been water skiing and things like that, we decided instead of doing something you've done before, we're going to choose something different. And it'll be a fun experience with the family." I always like to get at the root of what they really want. So maybe they didn't actually want that physical item or maybe they actually didn't want the trip to Hawaii. Maybe they really just wanted family time together. Sometimes we'll come back from a trip. And I'll ask. We went for spring break somewhere and I was like, "What was the best part of the trip?" And he looked at me and said, "Mommy and daddy were here with me for a week." I was like, "Yeah." So we could have been anywhere. We could have literally been home.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
And so it's what do they really want? And same with even when they're young, when they're toddlers. All they really want is to know that they're loved, that they are accepted for who they are. They just want to feel that comfort. And so materialistic money, all that aside, there's a root at what they want. So if they want an item, because they want to feel included, that's a different emotion. And so now you can address the inclusion part. It's not that they really wanted that fancy purse, because their girlfriend had. It's because they wanted it, because they wanted to feel a part of something. And so how can you recreate that sensation and how can you recreate that that makes sense for your family.

Bobbi Rebell:
I love the way you frame that. Tell us quickly about Mommy's on a Call. Because I love this, this is my new obsession, this podcast.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
Well, what happened was, is I had a podcast originally called Power Mom Minute and I wanted to interview all the successful moms in business, because I was very curious how they did it behind the scenes. How do you run a company and yet be a mom, because that was my aspiration to do. So I started this podcast and then got pregnant with a third kid, put it on hold, COVID hit. And in the middle of COVID, I needed an outlet and I was still curious, "What's going on in the world of moms?" I was on a phone call and my son was shooting a Spider-Man dart at me. I had a newborn that I was breastfeeding and I literally screamed out loud, "Mommy's on a call. Everyone, be quiet." I was like, "Huh." And the person on the Zoom was like, "That's your podcast name." And I was like, "That's perfect."

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
So it's a play on two things. Mommy's on a call, like "Go away." We're just going to figure out what's the behind the scenes of moms in business, career. And also mommy's on a call with different aspects of themselves. So I'm really big into multidimensional wellness. So that's not just health and or that's not just physical, emotional, mental. It's also financial. It's also career, which is occupational, environmental. And so mommy's on a call with different parts of the herself and her identity. So talking to you, mommy's on a call with finances and how can we better our financial future and our children's financial future. Or mommy's on a call with her health. And so I might interview someone on intermittent fasting or hormone health, because I'm personally curious. I want to see how you experts do it all.

Bobbi Rebell:
Well, I loved being on your show. I hope everyone checks out Mommy's on a Call. Where else can people find out more about you?

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
You can go to mommysonacall.com. You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter. It's all under Stephanie Uchima, that's U-C-H-I-M-A and follow me along there. I talk about all things motherhood and wellness.

Bobbi Rebell:
Thank you so much.

Stephanie Uchima-Carney:
Thank you for having me, Bobbi.

Bobbi Rebell:
The advice at the end of the interview about vacations is so on point to what is going on these days with travel. It's not only getting ridiculously expensive, it is also so difficult, it may honestly just not be worth it. So drill down with your kids when they're saying, "We want to go away." And by the way, this goes for your partner or your friends or whoever you will be traveling with and figure out if there's a way to get the same experience or a similar experience or a good enough experience, whether it's rock climbing, or just spending time together without the hefty price tag and not to be overlooked, the hassle factor. One thing that is hassle-free is getting the show notes and full transcripts to this podcast. Both are available right on my website, which is my name. So it's just bobbirebell.com, B-O-B-B-I-R-E-B-E-L-L .com. My newsletter is also available to subscribe to right on my website. Links to all of that in the show notes attached to the podcast, but also again on my website.

Bobbi Rebell:
Thank you for investing the time to listen to this podcast. One thing I am asking in return and it's super easy and it's also free is to take just two more minutes to review my book, Launching Financial Grownups on Amazon. And, yes, the link to review this book on Amazon will be in the show notes, but you can also just find it by going to Amazon, finding the book and scrolling down, and finding where to review it. I am trying to get to 100 reviews and let me tell you, it's not easy. So if you do put a review on that page for me, it is noticed and it is appreciated. Your one review matters a lot to help me get to that goal. So thank you truly. I really appreciate it, guys.

Bobbi Rebell:
And please of course share it with me on social media. If you do review the book or just if you the podcast, please help share it. Help me increase my listeners, grow the community. DM on Instagram, @bobbirebell1, and on Twitter, @bobbirebell. And also check out my new TikTok channel. Is that what it's called? Is it a channel? I'm not sure, but I'm posting a lot of videos of me doing local news hits, which is super fun, because I'm giving advice about battling inflation and saving money and so on. And you guys seem to like them, so I love sharing them and I would love to hear from you there. And, of course, make sure you are subscribed not just to this podcast, but to Stephanie's Mommy's on a Call podcast. It's a great one. And big thanks to Stephanie Uchima for helping us all be Financial Grownups.

Bobbi Rebell:
Money Tips for Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media, LLC. Editing and production by Steve Stewart, guest coordination, content creation, social media support and show notes by Ashley Wall. You can find the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show, as well as show transcripts, by going to my website, bobbirebell.com. You can also find an incredible library of 100s of previous episodes to help you on your journey as a financial grownup. The podcast and tons of complimentary resources associated with the podcast is brought to you for free, but I need to have your support in return. Here's how you can do that. First, connect with me on social media, @bobbirebell1 on Instagram and Bobbi Rebell on both Twitter and on Clubhouse, where you can join my money tips for grownups club. Second, share this podcast on social media and tag me, so I can thank you.

Bobbi Rebell:
You can also leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me. And you know what? It really motivates others to subscribe. You can also support our merch shop grownupgear.com by picking up fun gifts for your grownup friends and treating yourself as well. And most of all, help your friends on their journey to being Financial Grownups by encouraging them to subscribe to the podcast. Together, we got this. Thank you for your time and for the kind word so many of you send my way. See you next time and thank you for supporting Money Tips for Financial Grownups.

Advice, Family + Relationships, Financial Grownup, Money, Personal Finance, Role Models, Women Entrepreneurs, Women Role ModelsBobbi Rebell KaufmanJuly 5, 2022Stephanie Uchima, Stephanie Uchima-Carney, Mom Life, Kids, Children, Financial Education, Family

Spoiled kids? How to talk money during the holidays

The holiday season can be a great opportunity to teach young children money lessons including needs vs wants, the importance of saving and investing, and the power of giving. Bobbi talks with The Wisest Investment author Robin Taub, about the best ways to have those talks, and make an impact on your kids.

Money Tips

Talk about needs vs wants
Find Opportunities where children can learn how to be generous
Learn how to have a conversation about money with kids of any age
The important lesson that children can learn by walking away empty handed
Have children use their own money when purchasing things they want

Follow Robin!

Facebook - @Robin-Taub
Twitter - @robintaub
LinkedIn - @robin-taub-cpa-ca
Website - https://robintaub.com
Robin’s Book - The Wisest Investment

Follow Bobbi!

Instagram - @bobbirebell1
Twitter- @bobbirebell
LinkedIn- Bobbi Rebell
Website- http://www.bobbirebell.com

Did you enjoy the show? We would love your support!

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. We love reading what our listeners think of the show!

Subscribe to the podcast, so you never miss an episode.
Share the podcast with your family, friends, and co-workers.
Tag me on Instagram @bobbirebell1 and you’ll automatically be entered to win books by our favorite guests and merch from our Grownup Gear shop.

Full Transcript:

Bobbi Rebell:
I know the holidays are a time we're all supposed to get excited about, but sometimes it just feels like I can't celebrate until I get through my never ending to-do list. That includes gifts. It's exhausting. I love the smile on people's faces when I get them something that's going to be meaningful and that they love, but the truth is it's also really hard and I'm really getting tired of giving people the same old, same old. I feel like we're finally emerging from this pandemic and I just want something that will get them to smile. So my team and I have been working really hard to up the ante over at Grownup Gear with some super fun new stuff. My personal favorite, the baby bibs and the Wednesdays with phrases like, "I can't believe you're the grownup either," and new colors and designs of our top selling generosity line. And for the holidays, if you spend just $50 on any of the items from our Generosity collection, we will gift you a $10 gift certificate that you can spend on something to be generous to, well, yourself. Just use code holiday, H-O-L-I-D-A-Y. Thanks again to everyone supporting Grownup Gear. Your business helps support projects like this podcast, which remain free for all of you. Happy holidays, guys.

Robin Taub:
It's really hard as parents not to rescue your kids and you say you've done it, I know I've done it, and you're standing there and they're so disappointed, but it is a really important lesson that they have to understand that money's a finite resource and you have to do some planning and you have to do some research and know what things cost and whether you have enough.

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Money Tips for Financial Grownups, with me, certified financial planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of How To Be a Financial Grownup. And you know what? When it comes to money, being a grownup is hard, but together we've got this.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, Grown friends and happy holidays, whatever holidays you are celebrating. It is the season for so many good things, but we also want to make sure that we keep our kids from developing bad money habits, because that can happen with all the giving that goes on. Giving and getting presidents is good, don't get me wrong, but we just want to make sure that the young people in our lives don't get a sense of entitlement. Not just because we'll have to live with it, ugh, but also because it's just not going to serve them well as they grow into being grownups. Robin Taub is the author of The Wisest Investment: Teaching Your Kids to be Responsible, Independent, and Money Smart for Life. While she's based in Canada, her lessons are really universal. In my interview with Robin, we talk about using the holidays as an opportunity to teach kids, well, to be their best selves, maximize the fun and giving spirit of the holidays and not get caught up in all the bad stuff. All the me, me, me, get me, get me, buy me, buy me. Right? We've all heard that. Robin is so warm. You can tell she has a great heart and really cares about teaching young people. I think that's why we bonded so much. You're going to love this interview. Here is Robin Taub.

Bobbi Rebell:
Robin Taub, you're a financial grownup, welcome to the podcast.

Robin Taub:
Thanks Bobbi.

Bobbi Rebell:
We are of like minds across international borders. You are Canadian, I am obviously a US citizen, but we are like mines because we both are very interested in teaching children about money. I heard about your book, The Wisest Investment: Teaching Your Kids to Be Responsible, Independent, and Money Smart for Life and I had to have you on the podcast, so welcome.

Robin Taub:
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

Bobbi Rebell:
By the way, so this book, full disclosure, it is a book that is has Canadian references, but I think there's a lot of lessons that are universal and cross the international border between the US and Canada so I think that we're going to have a lot to discuss.

Robin Taub:
Good.

Bobbi Rebell:
Starting with the fact that you specialize in teaching parents how to teach their kids about money and in the book you go through different ages. You really start at the very youngest ages. It is the holiday season. It's a time when little kids may be asking for more and more and more, and this may be a time when things slow down a little bit with the older kids, the kids in elementary, middle school, maybe even high school, they may have more time to be around you. What kind of opening does this create for parents to have those discussions about money and money lessons with their children?

Robin Taub:
I think with holidays and gifts, you can have a talk about needs versus wants because I think this is the time of year where everyone wants the fun things, the things that are not must haves for survival, but the nice to haves. So having a conversation with your kids about what things cost and if they're working, how many hours it would take to work, they would have to work to earn something like the equivalent of what they want. Just talking about things like even buyer's remorse and thinking before you buy something, being more mindful about your spending.

Bobbi Rebell:
One thing that parents want to teach their children about obviously is being generous and giving. What kind of opportunities are presented around that during the holiday season?

Robin Taub:
I think you could be going with your kids to a place where they're giving out hot meals to people that are homeless or having trouble this time of year. It could be donating dry goods or new toys to an organization that's collecting for families that are in need this year. I feel like doing a project like that as a family really does help put things into perspective if your kids are developing a sense of entitlement and it just opens their eyes up to the fact that not everyone lives the way that they do. It teaches them to be grateful for what they have, which I think is a really important message all year round but especially around the holidays when they can be a little bit demanding of all the things on their list.

Bobbi Rebell:
What are some good ways to even open the conversation about money with kids, especially at the younger ages, if they don't show an interest in it and they don't really ask you? How do you even bring it up?

Robin Taub:
Yeah. As you mentioned, my book does start at the younger end around five, and I say that it usually does start when they go to school like preschool and they can see what other kids have and do and they might start expressing a curiosity around money. If they haven't initiated it and you think that they already based on their maturity, you can start with cash and you can start by showing them bills and coins and how you use those to pay for things, assuming you still do here and there. You would play county games with money. Canadian money's actually a lot more colorful and interesting than American money. That's something that I did when my kids were little, but it's always about sharing age appropriate information. You're going to interest a five year old in things that are outside of their little world. What does an ice cream cost and what does an apple cost? What about this toy that they want? How much does that cost, and showing them how you would actually add that up with cash and pay for it.

Bobbi Rebell:
One thing that is interesting is in the book you talk about if a little boy, I forget if it was a little boy or a little girl, whatever, if a child wants something and they're short, like they have a certain amount of money at the store and they come up short, many parents, and I myself have been guilty of this, pony up the last dime or whatever it is, you say not to do that.

Robin Taub:
Yeah, there is a story in the book about letting your child walk away empty-handed because they didn't have enough, they hadn't saved enough, or maybe it was a simple question if they didn't have enough for the tax, the sales tax. Again, that's another really good teachable moment because it's not just the sticker price, it's all these additional taxes. Yeah, it's really hard as parents not to rescue your kids and you say you've done it, I know I've done it, and you're standing there and they're so disappointed, but it is a really important lesson that they have to understand that money's a finite resource and you have to do some planning and you have to do some research and know what things cost and whether you have enough.

Bobbi Rebell:
It's interesting because that's sort of an evergreen lesson and many of the books lessons are evergreen, but the book is actually 10 years old and you've updated it. Tell me about what changed over the last decade when you went back and looked at it, how has the world changed and therefore, the way that we teach our children about money has changed?

Robin Taub:
Quite a bit, it's changed quite a bit, and in two major ways, I would say. The first is that we live in an increasingly cashless and digital society. With young kids you still want to teach them with cash because it's tangible and concrete and it's not as conceptual but older kids are ready to learn about digital money, but that has been a huge change. We are rarely using cash anymore. We are tapping, we are using our phones, everything's being done from our phone or computer. A lot of people were taught about money using jars and using cash and sort of when you run out, then you know you can't spend anymore. Well, that doesn't really happen anymore. We also don't feel that same pain of loss that you feel when you hand money over to somebody, when you just tap. It just doesn't feel that same visceral feeling.

Robin Taub:
You have to build some of that friction back into the system. As much as technology has made spending so much easier, and it's really changed the game on how we manage money, you can also use it to help you. I think that this move to digital has been huge in how we teach our kids and some of the challenges.

Robin Taub:
The other thing was COVID, was the pandemic. It just felt like it was a wake up call for parents. Well, for everyone really, about being prepared financially and about the importance of making sure the next generation is prepared, whether it's something crazy like a pandemic where things were shut down for a while and some people weren't able to work or be prepared for something good like some kind of a financial windfall. On the downside, a lot of people didn't have emergency money and they were really scrambling until the government stepped in with assistance. Just how important it is to have that safety net built.

Bobbi Rebell:
Do you think that the pandemic made or created a situation where parents were more candid with their children about money?

Robin Taub:
I think that especially teenagers and older kids, they are aware of what's going on in the house and I think it is catalyst for some difficult conversations. You want your child to have some context as to what's happening in the household, if you have to say, no, maybe this year celebrations are not going to be what they have been in the past for that reason, but you all also have to take on the responsibility of managing the household. You don't want to overburden your child with too much information or worry them, even teachable moments like taking your kid grocery shopping, that was such a go-to example, and all of a sudden no one was going to grocery stores, everyone was shopping online so just how do you then use those as opportunities to teach your kids?

Bobbi Rebell:
Well, you can also sit at the computer with your kid and go shopping online with your kids all the same.

Robin Taub:
Yeah, for sure.

Bobbi Rebell:
The other interesting thing is that you talk about digital tools. We can also see when I ... I no longer give my child actual cash. He has a debit card that actually works through digital, is through his phone on Apple Pay and so I can see everything he buys. How would you recommend, sometimes I don't like what he buys. How would you handle this with a child? How do you discuss what they're buying when they don't necessarily fully understand that you see everything?

Robin Taub:
Yeah. Well, is your child a teenager?

Bobbi Rebell:
Well, this one is. He's 14, yes. But any kid that has a debit card, I think it's a great tool because you used to, you'd give them money and you kind of don't know exactly but here you can see. They were at Dunkin' Donuts at 3:30 PM with their friends after school.

Robin Taub:
Yeah. That's a good example. You're right. With cash it's not traceable, so he might have been doing that. You just didn't know about it. With teenagers, the allowance that you're giving them, assuming you're having a conversation or I recommend parents do have a conversation about it, what are the expectations? Is it just for their wants? Is it for just going to Dunkin Donuts after school? Or is it supposed to cover some other things, maybe cell phone or ... Have that conversation about who's paying for, what are they working? Are they contributing also? Are you just paying for everything in the household? Most parents aren't charging teenage kids living at home rent or anything like that. But just going over what their daily spending or their weekly spending looks like.

Robin Taub:
Then I would sort of try and step back because you don't want to fight every little battle, as you know as a parent. You don't want to be arguing over every wasteful coffee or drink or fast food meal that they buy. If you've kind of got the big picture category sorted out, you're giving them some money for entertainment and some money for transportation and clothes, and I think within that, you want to let them do what they want because they are going to make mistakes and waste money and you kind of want them to, because that's how you learn.

Robin Taub:
Speaking of coffee, my daughter went through a phase in high school where she was going to Starbucks all the time after school. I know when I would take my kids to Starbucks, I wouldn't get anything because it was expensive when for two or three people. When she was going every day herself, she was spending 5, $6 at a pop, so that could be $30 a week.

Bobbi Rebell:
Did you ever talk to your daughter when you were going to Starbucks with all of them and buying them treats and not-

Robin Taub:
Yes.

Bobbi Rebell:
Not buying yourself. Would you say to them, "I'm buying you, but I'm not buying myself because it's too expensive?"

Robin Taub:
Yes, I would.

Bobbi Rebell:
It didn't work, Robin, they didn't-

Robin Taub:
I know.

Bobbi Rebell:
[crosstalk 00:13:36]

Robin Taub:
It might make me look cheap, but I didn't really care because I was like, "I don't really need this or want this that badly," and it was more like an outing so it was like, "Happy to buy it for you guys, but I don't need this so I'm not going to spend the money on myself." But I think it became for her the social thing. It was like they went en masse after school as a group and you don't want to be the odd kid out and whatever, but it can really add up. My son was the same, but for him it was cans of pop at a convenience store across the street. If you bring up from home, it's way cheaper.

Bobbi Rebell:
How do you handle that peer pressure to spend money with kids? Because that's what you're talking about.

Robin Taub:
It is and it's so hard now because it's in person and it's online with social media and social commerce and stuff. Yeah. It's a really hard thing. Again, I think it goes back to needs versus wants. Just emphasizing that with your kids, first we have to take care of the must-haves for survival and then if there's money left over for the nice haves, okay. When they start working, even as teenagers and they have to earn some of their own money to pay for some of the things that they have FOMO over or peer pressure over and they know that they have to work a certain number of hours to be able to afford that thing, it makes it a lot more real for them. When they're spending their own money compared to when they're spending yours, it just hurts more.

Robin Taub:
Even if you've given them that money as an allowance, as you were saying, it's still their money and they have ownership over it and they know if they spend it on this, they won't have it left over for that. It forces them to make these choices. I think that's another way. Doing those family philanthropy projects that we talked about maybe around the holidays, but all times of year schools are always doing fundraisers, just also reinforces the fact that life is not just about consuming and having the latest this and the greatest that, and just having some kind of a gratitude practice, even informally at home like going around the dinner table and everyone sharing one thing that happened that week that they're grateful for, it just changes the context from this whole got to have it, got to have it now, I deserve it to life's about a lot more than just stuff.

Bobbi Rebell:
What's your number one money tip for parents?

Robin Taub:
I think for parents it's to try to get their own financial house in orders so that they can be good financial role models and lead by example. Kids are watching and listening and learning and they are aware of both the good and the bad money habits in the home. They're modeling us, we are their role models for so many areas, including with money. I think that's an easy way, in some ways it's hard if you haven't done that, if you're not financially on top of things, but if you are then just by doing what you do normally you're teaching your kids. They have a good example to follow.

Bobbi Rebell:
Thank you so much. Where can people follow up with you and be in touch?

Robin Taub:
I have this book that has now been updated called The Wisest Investment and that is the name of the website where you can find it and links to it as well as some free resources. I actually have an exercise from the book that will help parents figure out if they're a good financial role model and how they could become one. That's all on thewisestinvestment.com and then on social media, I'm Robin Taub which is T-A-U-B.

Bobbi Rebell:
Thank you so much.

Robin Taub:
Thanks, Bobbi.

Bobbi Rebell:
So much great stuff in that interview, especially that last part about the fact that whether we are aware of it or not, the kids are watching how we talk about money and they are probably a lot more aware of what is going on with us financially than we realize, especially to so many of us were home so much more with those kids around in the last year and a half. I love this topic and I am so excited to start sharing more about my next book, Launching Financial Grownups with all of you soon. To learn more about it, please go to my website, bobbirebelle.com, you can learn more just in the dropdown menu, click on books, but also sign up for my newsletter. There's an invitation right there waiting for you when you go to the website and I will keep you posted.

Bobbi Rebell:
In the meantime, I would love to hear your tips on this topic or if you have any more questions or topic suggestions that you want to hear more about on the podcast. DM me on Instagram @bobbirebell1 and on Twitter @bobbirebell, and big thanks to The Wisest Investment author, Robin Taub, for helping us all be financial grownups.

Bobbi Rebell:
Money Tips for Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media, LLC. Editing and production by Steve Stewart, guest coordination, content creation, social media support, and show notes by Ashley Wall. You can find in the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show as well as show transcripts, by going to my website, bobbirebelle.com. You can also find an incredible library of hundreds of previous episodes to help you on your journey as a financial grownup.

Bobbi Rebell:
The podcast and tons of complimentary resources associated with the podcast is brought to you for free but I need to have your support in return. Here's how you can do that. First connect with me on social media at Bobby rebel, one on Instagram @bobbierebell1 and @bobbirebell on both Twitter and on Clubhouse where you can join my Money Tips for Grownups club. Second, share the is podcast on social media and tag me so I can thank you. You can also leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me. You know what? It really motivates others to subscribe. You can also support our merch shop, grownupgear.com by picking up fun gifts for your Grownup friends and treating yourself as well. Most of all, help your friends on their journey to being financial grownups by encouraging them to subscribe to the podcast. Together, we got this. Thank you for your time and for the kind word so many of you send my way. See you next time and thank you for supporting Money Tips for Financial Grownups.