A Little About The Show
Andy Hill:
So it's a 10 episode series on Netflix, and it follows these couples in Nashville. Then they've got a limited budget. So they've got to choose the mortgage, or they've got to choose the wedding of their dreams. So the mortgage obviously is for their first home or the home that they're going to have together. Most of them have around 30K saved up. And the hosts of the show, as you mentioned, Sarah, she's got the wedding planning, and then Nicole is the real estate agent. So they have a friendly competition about who's going to win over the couple, whether it's the marriage or the mortgage.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yes, and it's interesting. Most of the couples have somewhere between 25 and $35,000 saved up for this. And that does work out well because the average cost of a wedding pre COVID, which is when this was filmed, and we'll talk about the relevance of that later, was about $34,000. Which of course, I'm in New York so I'm like, oh, that's not so bad. But in the real world, outside of the island of Manhattan, that is a ton of money. All right, Andy, you're the perfect person for this show. You have the marriage, but you don't have a mortgage anymore. So I know you have a lot to say about this show. You've watched a couple episodes, right?
Andy Hill:
Yeah. I watched a couple episodes. I watched the first one where it was a new couple coming in from Florida. And they were deciding whether they want to get married or pay for the wedding or do the house. And then I also watched another episode with an older lesbian couple, that they were going to say, Hey, do we want the big gay wedding, or do we want the big gay house? So it was fun to see different demographics in Nashville trying to figure out their situation. But yeah, overall, I thought it was a very interesting concept. And based on watching it, it was a little downer. Honestly, I feel like you come into it and it's like, okay, you set yourself up for the big hopes of the wedding because you've seen all the movies, or you've seen all your friends do it. Or you've got to get the big house because you've seen all your friends or your family or in the movies do it.
Andy Hill:
And I feel like when we throw that out into society, it's like, here's the things that you have to do, I think that it can be a depressing notion of you're not quite there financially. And it brought back memories for me with both of those situations as well. So I didn't quite have the money for either one of those things. And we got into forcing ourselves financially to do them. So it was kind of a ... I don't know, it's a happy go lucky show, but it made me a little bit sad.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah, I will say. So there is this reality TV veneer that they sometimes do where everything is presented as positivity. It is interesting because there is that dark undercurrent because they never have a choice of, well, you don't have to do either one.
Andy Hill:
Yeah.
Bobbi Rebell:
So, that's interesting. I joked that you know about the marriage, but not the mortgage anymore. You did pay off your mortgage. What do you think about the idea of what it's saying? That it positions home ownership has this ideal that couples should be striving for. They never really say, well, or you could just, do what you want to do [crosstalk 00:05:49] or whatever.
Money Tips and Lessons Learned
Andy Hill:
Yeah. I think there's the nationwide shame around renting. And that's something that I'd like to dispel, especially since ... I'm a homeowner. I love my home and we paid off the mortgage. Yes, it's great. But for my first home ownership experience, I bought with too little down with not an understanding of the general costs of home ownership outside of the mortgage. A lot of these things, a lot of the show is like, Hey, here's the home that you can afford for the mortgage. But then you move in and it's like, I got to furnish that thing. I got to get curtains. Oh, the roof is not in a good situation. I have to ... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, all the things that you didn't know because you are renting, all the things you got to fix because you don't have a landlord anymore. You are the landlord.
Bobbi Rebell:
It's so interesting that you say that because the plot twist for this show actually happened after filming ended in my mind. Because when you first see the title of this show, every single person I've asked, because as I mentioned, I am obsessed with it, has said, who would not choose the house over the wedding? Everyone says, why would you? If you only have 30 grand, of course, you're going to get a house, especially cause some other living situations are less than ideal. They're living with parents or whatever, roommates. The thing is, is that you think when you're watching it, who's not going to choose the mortgage. And I didn't actually do a count, but I'm telling you, I feel like it's at least half chose the wedding.
Andy Hill:
Yeah, it was the majority. Yeah.
Bobbi Rebell:
And on the surface, people get judgey. And they're like, you would blow 30 grand on four hours? And I asked the ladies, I said, after the pandemic, did people regret the weddings? Especially because some of the weddings were even downsized because they timed out to be the beginning of the pandemic. And they said, no. The regrets, if anything, came from the homeowners, which goes to what you just said. The wedding. Sure, they "blew 30 grand on it." But they had the day of a lifetime. They had a memory, they had their friends and family there, which we talk about how millennials and gen Z, they all want these experiences. Well, that's what the wedding was. The wedding was an experience versus a thing.
Bobbi Rebell:
And what people forget is that the house does carry future financial responsibilities, positive things too. But it was very interesting talking to the ladies, seeing this afterthought. Do you think that people are too quick to judge stereotypes when they go to these things, where they judge people for spending a lot of money on a huge trip or a wedding or whatever it may be? And we were talking offline. We have a big family event that we're planning that I think we're spending way too much money on, but I also feel like this is what life is, right?
Speaker 3:
Absolutely. If you've saved up the money to purchase something, whether it's a thing or an experience in your life, I think there should be zero shame, and you enjoying what you've worked hard to have. Now, if, Bobby, you're going to take a big, old, personal loan to throw this party and rack up some double-digit interest to do that, then maybe not so much.
Bobbi Rebell:
If you were the host, let's say you're the moderator, they really didn't have a neutral party. But if you were there hosting it with the ladies, what would your advice to be as a neutral party to these couples?
Speaker 3:
I think that could be fun actually, because the show is supposed to be fun. And it's like, Hey, choose one or the other. And it's like a game show, like you said. It also opens up opportunity for social commentary at the end to be like, okay, Hey, we know that this is not the real world here, everybody. You don't have to do just this or that. There's a lot of other things you can do. I think maybe they should have risen up the conversation around renting. I think they should have risen up the conversation around maybe not having to do an extravagant thing if you can't afford it. And the realities of debt in our country, because those are really serious topics.
Speaker 3:
And since we're playfully talking about a $30,000 choice, which is very difficult for the majority of America, I think it opens up an opportunity to have real conversations. So maybe for the people who are on the show, maybe it's an opportunity for them to talk, get real, get real money talk and say, Hey, this is what it actually ended up being when we decided to go for the wedding. Or now that we've decided to go for the wedding, we have $0 to put down on this house that we're actually really interested. So there is a choice. And I think that it opens up an opportunity for education after the fun, which is important too.
Bobbi Rebell:
Absolutely. Final thoughts on the show. Are you going to be watching the rest of the episodes now that I've gotten you sucked into it?
Speaker 3:
You know what, Bobby? I'll be honest with you. I will probably not watch any more of them, but I really appreciated you opening it up to me. It's just that's not typically my type of show. I don't really watch a lot of reality TV, but I liked the fact that it hit on both of those buttons, marriage and mortgage because I talk about that all the time.
Bobbi Rebell:
Well, do you feel that it had lessons, maybe things that you already know? I mean, there was a lot of negotiation. I feel there was a lot of priority there. And I would have liked to have heard more about how they got to saving $30,000, which is no small feat.
Speaker 3:
Exactly. And I think that that in itself could teach a lot of people things. What I did like that you're bringing up, I like how they negotiated. I really like how when you come to the end and they make the final decision, here's what I was able to do for you, whether it was for the house or for the wedding venue. I used to work on event planning for 15 years, so I know all of the importance of the costs of events.
Bobbi Rebell:
Oh, tell us. Give us some insider secrets, Andy.
Speaker 3:
It's very important to not just take the price at face value, which the show hosts did, which was fantastic. What can you do for me? Where can we find some concessions? These people are considering going over these other locations. What can we do to save a little bit of money? Never take the price at face value in anything in life. This is an opportunity for you to negotiate, flex that skill, and go into it being like, Hey, you know what? If we can't get it, it's not going to be the end of the world. There's going to be somewhere else to go. And with that attitude, you're going to save a lot of money with a lot of choices in life, whether it's an event venue or a home or a thing that you want to buy in life. So that was one of my favorite things that the host did and showed the power of negotiation, which I think is really good for everybody.
Bobbi Rebell:
And they did do some budgeting. They did say, for example, the wedding, if you spend this much on the dress ... I mean, there was a lot of humor in there. To me, that's a lot of the watchability. You can see, everyone, I'm trying to get Andy to really watch the rest of these. But I mean, there was a woman that had to have this ranch dressing tower. I mean, it's the most absurd thing I've ever heard, but it was also her enthusiasm was infectious. So you find these characters endearing, even in what we might perceive as silliness. The truth is we all have our thing.
Speaker 3:
Yeah. Well, I like ranch on anything, so I respect that. So pizza, vegetables. So maybe I'll have to watch that episode. I think that's that ...
Bobbi Rebell:
Maybe watch that one, and the one with a donut wall.
Speaker 3:
Oh, I like it. I like donuts, and I like ranch. Not together, but I like them.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah, see? I'm going to win you over. When we're done with this, I'm going to work on getting Andy to watch the rest of the show because these characters are endearing. You are rooting for them. The fact that this pandemic happened and squashed a lot of the ones ... the wedding's dreams, but they still love the weddings. It's like, I love that because the weddings, ultimately, even though they did ... and they put budgets up on the screen, by the way. They do, they show what things are going to cost. They do push people to make choices within the wedding. More so the house, it's a little trickier, but they do do that. So I thought that was also a good financial lesson. So I'm winning you over, Andy.
Speaker 3:
I like it. I'm not knocking your show. I don't normally do reality shows, but [crosstalk 00:12:58] you're a good friend of mine. If you want me to watch an another episode, I will.
Bobbi Rebell:
I recommend it for people that like reality TV.
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Full Transcript:
Bobbi Rebell:
I hope you guys are all celebrating some big adulting milestones this season. And you know what? Finding the perfect gift for those celebrations can be tough. I have the solution over@grownupgear.com. We have adorable hats, totes, mugs, pillows, teas, and seriously, the most cozy and comfortable sweatshirts. They're all on grownupgear.com and all at affordable prices. We even now have digital gift certificates if you can't decide. Use code grownup for 15% off your first order. Buying from our small business helps to support this free podcast. And you know what? We really appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Money Tips for Financial Grownups with me, certified financial planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of How to be a Financial Grownup. And you know what? When it comes to money, being a grown up is hard, but together we've got this.
Bobbi Rebell:
Welcome, friends, to our latest installment of our 2021 financial grownup summer watch party series. During COVID, I had a chance to check out some streaming shows and there are a lot of undiscovered gems out there that I think have some really good money lessons. So we're going to have a separate watch party. Actually, we already are. I think this is our third episode highlighting, of course, some of my personal favorites and some new buzzworthy shows. And of course the money tips that we learned from them. And of course, what is a watch party without some good friends? So I am so excited to welcome Andy Hill. He is the host of Marriage, Kids and Money, the podcast, and the growing business empire around it. Welcome, Andy.
Andy Hill:
Thank you, Bobby. I'm so glad to be here and glad to be returning for some more fun with you.
Bobbi Rebell:
You have a lot going on as the world opens up, I say optimistically.
Andy Hill:
Yes. Let's keep saying it optimistically, please.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yes. Well, I think you're one of the co-hosts of Fin Con this year.
Andy Hill:
Yeah. I'm excited about that. Yeah. Paula Pant and I are going to be co-hosting together in Fin Con in Austin, Texas. And I am pumped about it, to be able to not only do that, but hang out with a bunch of fellow money nerds just like you.
Bobbi Rebell:
In person, so cool. All right.
Andy Hill:
Yay.
Bobbi Rebell:
Let's get to this week's show. We're going to be talking about Marriage and Mortgage. I think it's actually called Marriage or Mortgage. I misspoke, so Marriage or Mortgage. It was an obsessive pandemic binge show for me, so much so that I had the stars of the show, Sarah Miller and Nicole Holmes, as guests on an earlier episode of this podcast. And yes, we'll leave a link in the show notes on my website, bobbirebell.com. So you guys can check that one out. I was obsessed. Andy, I had to prompt you to watch this, but you were a good sport. You dove right in. Tell us a little bit about the show.
Andy Hill:
Yeah, so it's a very interesting ... and you were right. It's definitely an or because that's the whole point of the show, right? Marriage or Mortgage. So it's a 10 episode series on Netflix, and it follows these couples in Nashville. Then they've got a limited budget. So they've got to choose the mortgage, or they've got to choose the wedding of their dreams. So the mortgage obviously is for their first home or the home that they're going to have together. Most of them have around 30K saved up. And the hosts of the show, as you mentioned, Sarah, she's got the wedding planning, and then Nicole is the real estate agent. So they have a friendly competition about who's going to win over the couple, whether it's the marriage or the mortgage.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yes, and it's interesting. Most of the couples have somewhere between 25 and $35,000 saved up for this. And that does work out well because the average cost of a wedding pre COVID, which is when this was filmed, and we'll talk about the relevance of that later, was about $34,000. Which of course, I'm in New York so I'm like, oh, that's not so bad. But in the real world, outside of the island of Manhattan, that is a ton of money. All right, Andy, you're the perfect person for this show. You have the marriage, but you don't have a mortgage anymore. So I know you have a lot to say about this show. You've watched a couple episodes, right?
Andy Hill:
Yeah. I watched a couple episodes. I watched the first one where it was a new couple coming in from Florida. And they were deciding whether they want to get married or pay for the wedding or do the house. And then I also watched another episode with an older lesbian couple, that they were going to say, Hey, do we want the big gay wedding, or do we want the big gay house? So it was fun to see different demographics in Nashville trying to figure out their situation. But yeah, overall, I thought it was a very interesting concept. And based on watching it, it was a little downer. Honestly, I feel like you come into it and it's like, okay, you set yourself up for the big hopes of the wedding because you've seen all the movies, or you've seen all your friends do it. Or you've got to get the big house because you've seen all your friends or your family or in the movies do it.
Andy Hill:
And I feel like when we throw that out into society, it's like, here's the things that you have to do, I think that it can be a depressing notion of you're not quite there financially. And it brought back memories for me with both of those situations as well. So I didn't quite have the money for either one of those things. And we got into forcing ourselves financially to do them. So it was kind of a ... I don't know, it's a happy go lucky show, but it made me a little bit sad.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah, I will say. So there is this reality TV veneer that they sometimes do where everything is presented as positivity. It is interesting because there is that dark undercurrent because they never have a choice of, well, you don't have to do either one.
Andy Hill:
Yeah.
Bobbi Rebell:
So, that's interesting. I joked that you know about the marriage, but not the mortgage anymore. You did pay off your mortgage. What do you think about the idea of what it's saying? That it positions home ownership has this ideal that couples should be striving for. They never really say, well, or you could just, do what you want to do [crosstalk 00:05:49] or whatever.
Andy Hill:
Yeah. I think there's the nationwide shame around renting. And that's something that I'd like to dispel, especially since ... I'm a homeowner. I love my home and we paid off the mortgage. Yes, it's great. But for my first home ownership experience, I bought with too little down with not an understanding of the general costs of home ownership outside of the mortgage. A lot of these things, a lot of the show is like, Hey, here's the home that you can afford for the mortgage. But then you move in and it's like, I got to furnish that thing. I got to get curtains. Oh, the roof is not in a good situation. I have to ... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, all the things that you didn't know because you are renting, all the things you got to fix because you don't have a landlord anymore. You are the landlord.
Bobbi Rebell:
It's so interesting that you say that because the plot twist for this show actually happened after filming ended in my mind. Because when you first see the title of this show, every single person I've asked, because as I mentioned, I am obsessed with it, has said, who would not choose the house over the wedding? Everyone says, why would you? If you only have 30 grand, of course, you're going to get a house, especially cause some other living situations are less than ideal. They're living with parents or whatever, roommates. The thing is, is that you think when you're watching it, who's not going to choose the mortgage. And I didn't actually do a count, but I'm telling you, I feel like it's at least half chose the wedding.
Andy Hill:
Yeah, it was the majority. Yeah.
Bobbi Rebell:
And on the surface, people get judgey. And they're like, you would blow 30 grand on four hours? And I asked the ladies, I said, after the pandemic, did people regret the weddings? Especially because some of the weddings were even downsized because they timed out to be the beginning of the pandemic. And they said, no. The regrets, if anything, came from the homeowners, which goes to what you just said. The wedding. Sure, they "blew 30 grand on it." But they had the day of a lifetime. They had a memory, they had their friends and family there, which we talk about how millennials and gen Z, they all want these experiences. Well, that's what the wedding was. The wedding was an experience versus a thing.
Bobbi Rebell:
And what people forget is that the house does carry future financial responsibilities, positive things too. But it was very interesting talking to the ladies, seeing this afterthought. Do you think that people are too quick to judge stereotypes when they go to these things, where they judge people for spending a lot of money on a huge trip or a wedding or whatever it may be? And we were talking offline. We have a big family event that we're planning that I think we're spending way too much money on, but I also feel like this is what life is, right?
Speaker 3:
Absolutely. If you've saved up the money to purchase something, whether it's a thing or an experience in your life, I think there should be zero shame, and you enjoying what you've worked hard to have. Now, if, Bobby, you're going to take a big, old, personal loan to throw this party and rack up some double-digit interest to do that, then maybe not so much.
Bobbi Rebell:
If you were the host, let's say you're the moderator, they really didn't have a neutral party. But if you were there hosting it with the ladies, what would your advice to be as a neutral party to these couples?
Speaker 3:
I think that could be fun actually, because the show is supposed to be fun. And it's like, Hey, choose one or the other. And it's like a game show, like you said. It also opens up opportunity for social commentary at the end to be like, okay, Hey, we know that this is not the real world here, everybody. You don't have to do just this or that. There's a lot of other things you can do. I think maybe they should have risen up the conversation around renting. I think they should have risen up the conversation around maybe not having to do an extravagant thing if you can't afford it. And the realities of debt in our country, because those are really serious topics.
Speaker 3:
And since we're playfully talking about a $30,000 choice, which is very difficult for the majority of America, I think it opens up an opportunity to have real conversations. So maybe for the people who are on the show, maybe it's an opportunity for them to talk, get real, get real money talk and say, Hey, this is what it actually ended up being when we decided to go for the wedding. Or now that we've decided to go for the wedding, we have $0 to put down on this house that we're actually really interested. So there is a choice. And I think that it opens up an opportunity for education after the fun, which is important too.
Bobbi Rebell:
Absolutely. Final thoughts on the show. Are you going to be watching the rest of the episodes now that I've gotten you sucked into it?
Speaker 3:
You know what, Bobby? I'll be honest with you. I will probably not watch any more of them, but I really appreciated you opening it up to me. It's just that's not typically my type of show. I don't really watch a lot of reality TV, but I liked the fact that it hit on both of those buttons, marriage and mortgage because I talk about that all the time.
Bobbi Rebell:
Well, do you feel that it had lessons, maybe things that you already know? I mean, there was a lot of negotiation. I feel there was a lot of priority there. And I would have liked to have heard more about how they got to saving $30,000, which is no small feat.
Speaker 3:
Exactly. And I think that that in itself could teach a lot of people things. What I did like that you're bringing up, I like how they negotiated. I really like how when you come to the end and they make the final decision, here's what I was able to do for you, whether it was for the house or for the wedding venue. I used to work on event planning for 15 years, so I know all of the importance of the costs of events.
Bobbi Rebell:
Oh, tell us. Give us some insider secrets, Andy.
Speaker 3:
It's very important to not just take the price at face value, which the show hosts did, which was fantastic. What can you do for me? Where can we find some concessions? These people are considering going over these other locations. What can we do to save a little bit of money? Never take the price at face value in anything in life. This is an opportunity for you to negotiate, flex that skill, and go into it being like, Hey, you know what? If we can't get it, it's not going to be the end of the world. There's going to be somewhere else to go. And with that attitude, you're going to save a lot of money with a lot of choices in life, whether it's an event venue or a home or a thing that you want to buy in life. So that was one of my favorite things that the host did and showed the power of negotiation, which I think is really good for everybody.
Bobbi Rebell:
And they did do some budgeting. They did say, for example, the wedding, if you spend this much on the dress ... I mean, there was a lot of humor in there. To me, that's a lot of the watchability. You can see, everyone, I'm trying to get Andy to really watch the rest of these. But I mean, there was a woman that had to have this ranch dressing tower. I mean, it's the most absurd thing I've ever heard, but it was also her enthusiasm was infectious. So you find these characters endearing, even in what we might perceive as silliness. The truth is we all have our thing.
Speaker 3:
Yeah. Well, I like ranch on anything, so I respect that. So pizza, vegetables. So maybe I'll have to watch that episode. I think that's that ...
Bobbi Rebell:
Maybe watch that one, and the one with a donut wall.
Speaker 3:
Oh, I like it. I like donuts, and I like ranch. Not together, but I like them.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah, see? I'm going to win you over. When we're done with this, I'm going to work on getting Andy to watch the rest of the show because these characters are endearing. You are rooting for them. The fact that this pandemic happened and squashed a lot of the ones ... the wedding's dreams, but they still love the weddings. It's like, I love that because the weddings, ultimately, even though they did ... and they put budgets up on the screen, by the way. They do, they show what things are going to cost. They do push people to make choices within the wedding. More so the house, it's a little trickier, but they do do that. So I thought that was also a good financial lesson. So I'm winning you over, Andy.
Speaker 3:
I like it. I'm not knocking your show. I don't normally do reality shows, but [crosstalk 00:12:58] you're a good friend of mine. If you want me to watch an another episode, I will.
Bobbi Rebell:
I recommend it for people that like reality TV. But in the meantime, everyone likes you, Andy Hill. Everyone should be following you and all of your ventures. Tell us more about what you're up to and where people can find you.
Speaker 3:
Yeah. So I have a podcast called Marriage, Kids and Money, which is appropriate for the show we're talking about today.
Bobbi Rebell:
Well, that's why I picked you to do this. Hello.
Speaker 3:
I know. I'm so thankful for being here. It's a show focused on helping families make smart financial choices that let them have a great today and tomorrow. So I've been doing it for about five years. It's a podcast, it's a YouTube channel. Come check it out, marriagekidsandmoney.com.
Bobbi Rebell:
And it's award-winning by the way.
Speaker 3:
Oh, thank you. Yes, it is award winning. I do a show on Fridays now with my wife called Bread and Wine, where it's her and I talking about stuff just very similar to the show, big decisions we're making as a family and what we're going to do. And I am secretly trying to get an award for that one, so Nicole will have to come with me to Austin. You guys can hang out.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yes, absolutely. Well, you've got my vote for all of that. And everyone, follow Andy, follow all of his shows. And if you enjoy this podcast, please tell a friend and make sure that you are following the podcast. That's new terminology now because we no longer say subscribe. We say, follow the podcast. DM me on Instagram @bobbirebell1. Let me know what you liked about the show. Let me know what you want to hear more of on the podcast. And thanks, Andy, for helping us all be financial grownups.
Andy Hill:
Thank you for inviting me.
Bobbi Rebell:
Money Tips for Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media, LLC, editing and production by Steve Stewart, guest coordination, content creation, social media support and show notes by Ashley Well. You can find the podcast show notes, which includes links to resources mentioned in the show, as well as show transcripts, by going to my website, bobbirebell.com. You can also find an incredible library of hundreds of previous episodes to help you on your journey as a financial grownup. The podcast and tons of complimentary resources associated with the podcast is brought to you for free, but I need to have your support in return.
Bobbi Rebell:
Here's how you can do that. First, connect with me on social media @bobbirebell1 on Instagram, and Bobbi Rebell on both Twitter and on Clubhouse, where you can join my Money Tips for Grownups club. Second, share this podcast on social media and tag me so I can thank you. You can also leave a review on Apple podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me, and you know what? It really motivates others to subscribe. You can also support our merchant shop grownupgear.com by picking up fun gifts for your grownup friends and treating yourself as well. And most of all, help your friends on their journey to being financial grownups by encouraging them to subscribe to the podcast. Together, we got this. Thank you for your time and for the kind words so many of you send my way. See you next time. And thank you for supporting Money Tips for Financial Grownups.
