Life gets too busy, and sometimes even financial grownups drop the ball on making sure their bills don’t balloon out of control. Bobbi gets real about how this happened to her, and how she managed to downsize her family’s cable and phone bills. 

We’re going to do a deep dive into why my cable and phone bills were so high, and what I did to stop the madness. And how you can hopefully make the changes that are right for you. 

I do want to remind everyone that I am in New York City- and as I discovered there is a high amount of mandatory taxes added to the bill- that may or may not be true where you are. But you will also see some taxes CAN go away if you know what they are for, and make some choices. 

First- why did it take so long for me to take a deep dive into these bills: a combination of inertia, and family pushback. My kids were insisting they needed very high unlimited data plans- and my family felt strongly they needed to have every single channel on the tv. We don’t go out a lot because of all the things so there was a lot of resistance when I spoke of cutting the cord. After all, as expensive as it is, the amount we would save, is still a lot less than even going out to dinner and a movie for a family of 5- even once. 

But still. 

What prompted it? My 12 year old getting a phone and my 22 year old stepdaughter is out of college with a great job, and  should be transitioning to paying her own bills. 

So- with fear and trepidation, I looked at the bills for my family of 5 and it was bad. 

The monthly wireless bill for my family.. was $347.77

The monthly cable bill- which also includes, internet and a landline, was $309.77 for a total of more than $650. A month. 

And for the record it is not an oversight- I’m not going to name the provider- because this applies really to any bills.. and I don’t want to point fingers. 

So there were three main areas that I was able to cut- and we’ll get into each one. 

The first place was the micro cuts- little- and sometimes not so little things that add up. 

The second place was making choices about what we really needed

The third place was device management- looking at whether we really need to be on the latest and best phones- for which we pay hefty monthly payments. 

So first let’s get into the micro cuts. There are things almost everyone can find and execute simply by looking at their bill and working through it with customer service. 

First: The plans. Most wireless carriers have shifted their business model. It used to be the phones were free-ish as long as you committed- and locked into-  an expensive plan. So we were paying about $60 a line for unlimited- those plans have now dropped to as little as $35 a line, because more people are paying for their phone separately, in some way. They may own it outright, or it may be a separate rental or payment plan,

As I mentioned, my stepdaughter now has a great job- that comes with a phone. But she still wants a phone for personal use. We dropped that phone to the lowest plan at $35 a month because she simply does’t need that much data. My stepson and son are now also on the lowest possible unlimited phone plans. I’m on the second to lowest at $45 a month because I do use a lot of data for business- but that comes with a subscription to Apple Music. That is key. I had been paying $10 a month for Apple music- so that brings my net cost in line with the $35 everyone else is paying. 

And that is an important side note- many phone carriers have deals with Apple Music, Hulu, Spotify etc. Make sure you are taking advantage of them. I was paying $10 a month for something I could get for free through my phone carrier.  So painful. 

Let’s keep going. 

There were a series of $5 and $10 bill reductions I was able to get- I asked if there was a loyalty discount for using both the company’s wireless service and their cable/internet service. Why yes- $10 for each for a $20 savings. Was there a discount for auto pay- because I was on auto pay but didn’t see it on my bill. I was informed that the auto pay discount does not work if you put it on your credit card- which I had done to get points. You must do it as a debit from our account. I switched- and got the discount- from both wireless and from cable/internet. 

Customer service volunteered that there was a military discount of $20 a month. I said that neither my husband and I were military- but apparently we are eligible because both our fathers were military- we just have to add them to the account- they don’t have to have a phone line. So we saved that. 

We were also still paying $5 a month to monitor my now adult stepchildren- so that went away. 

Let’s move on to the second thing we did and that is to make some choices. 

I have been pushing to just cut the cord, and I had been losing. 

But given that the kids basically watch youtube, this was getting silly. 

We not only had 100% every single premium channel, we had infinite other channels that never get watched. And we have Hulu. And Netflix. And Amazon Prime. Seriously. And we are too busy to watch that much TV. 

I made a deal with my husband that if I cut anything he missed, we could bring it back. 

Here’s where it got challenging. I asked the cable representative about the skinny bundles. Can she send me a list of the channels on them. They made this very hard. She just had lists of some channels that were ‘representative’. And when she sent me via email a link to the complete list, it did not work. Keep in mind, this project was moving past the 4 hour mark, complete with hang ups and call backs. 

I also had to push back against some assumptions she was making. She told me of course I did not want to live MTV. Of course I did not want to lose local sports. Actually- I was ok with that. I also was- to her surprise, ok losing every premium channel, thought I did keep HBO for now. But it was a frustrating push. We finally did settle on a skinny package that I think will work- though I never was able to get a specific list of the channels on it. It can always be changed. And by the way, bonus- by losing the local sports channels, we also lost a $9 a month tax that we pay in New York for the privilege of paying for local sports. Not making this up. 

I also asked about our internet speed- and guess what, we could get a better service, for the same price as the older plan we were on.. so we did that. 

Here’s another tricky thing. We had been getting our landline through our internet/cable provider- for $5 a month. But we never use it and only get spam calls on it. I’ve wanted to get rid of it anyway. Once we moved to the cheaper cable plan, the landline cost went up. Also with a ton of taxes, it was now going to be close to $40 a month! So we cut that. No more land line. 

Also - when we switched to the skinny cable bundle we were informed our cable boxes were out of date, so they charged us a one time $50 fee for that change. I was not happy. 

Let’s get to the third thing- and this made me really mad. As I mentioned earlier- the business model has been shifting away from having the phone plans subsidize the devices. We were paying $40 for each fo 3 phones in a monthly payment plan. Total $120 a month. Renting phones.  One phone has one month left and the other 2 devices have 4 months left. When that is over, I plan and hope to get out of the monthly renting game- we’ll be holding on to our devices and so saving $120 a month on that bill. And if the older kids want the latest and greatest phones and choose to rent them- that will become their bill. 

So there you have it- the bills, once we get those phone device payments off will be about half what they were.. and my bet is that my family will not come back to me asking for all those cable channels back. 

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

When Park Place Payments founder and CEO Samantha Ettus was just getting started in her career, family vacations were not in the budget. But she found a way to get a luxury vacation for free, with a little creativity, and a sense of adventure.

Samantha's money story:

Samantha Ettus:
Oh my gosh. You're the first person I've shared this with on air, but this is a little bit embarrassing. That's okay. We go way back, so I'll share it with you. But I was pregnant with my third child, and I had two little ones, Ella and Ruby, who were both under age five at the time. And spring break was coming up. We were in a very small New York City apartment. It was 1400 square feet. And I was freezing and just exhausted, and I said to my husband, "Where are we going to go spring break when the kids are off?" And he was like, "What do you mean? You have a book coming up that you have to work on, and I have this business I just started, and there is no budget for a vacation." I kind of had my own version of like an adult temper tantrum where I was crying and emotional and pregnant, very pregnant, and just beside myself that there was no way to get out of Dodge basically.

Samantha Ettus:
So basically we got in this argument and he said, "Well, if you can figure out how to do it for free, I'll take the time off." I said, "Okay, I'm going to do it." The first thing I did was get online, and this is ridiculous, but I looked up-

Bobbi Rebell:
So this is basically, I can tell, this is basically how Samantha Ettus gets a vacation for free. Okay. Go.

Samantha Ettus:
Exactly. Yes. Thank you for titling it. So basically I quickly got online and just said I was going to enter a contest where you could win a vacation for free. That was a total dead end.

Bobbi Rebell:
Or just enter the lottery, Samantha. Why not.

Samantha Ettus:
Right, exactly. If we're going down that path. Good stats there. And then I went on these home-swapping sites and saw so many exciting homes. Then I thought, well I can [inaudible 00:05:52] to this apartment. I went to the flower store. I basically had completely [inaudible 00:05:57] the apartment and photographed it by the time the day was over, and that night we had 15 to 20 offers of home swaps. There's all these websites where you can just house swap. You have to sign up and do all the things, and you barter, and people will immediately start making offers like, "Do you want my flat in Paris if I can have your flat in New York City?" I mean, that's literally what it was like. And it has to be compatible dates, but you type in your dates. I mean, these sites are really sophisticated at this point.

Samantha Ettus:
So we ended up swapping. By the next week we had our spring break plan. We used frequent flyer miles to go to Newport Beach, California. There was a family there of five. They had a brand new home. I looked it up on Google. I even Googled the owners to make sure they were legit people. She was like a VP at some company, and so I knew she was like a real person and I could find her on LinkedIn. She actually left her car, which was an SUV, at the airport for us, so that when we landed we had her car for the week. The only thing I had to do was feed her fish, which my little kids thought was so exciting, and we had a one week vacation in Newport Beach that was completely free.

Bobbi Rebell:
And she let you drive her car?

Samantha Ettus:
Yeah.

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh my goodness.

Samantha Ettus:
And by the way, the one thing we did was we had a housekeeper come right before they came to our apartment and right after they left. So for us, you wouldn't have even noticed that they were there. It did not impact our apartment at all. We left their apartment in good shape and they left ours in great shape.

“I think prioritizing vacations as a family is a really good use of your money, because those experiences are more valuable than things.”

Samantha’s money lesson:

Samantha Ettus:
I think it was homeaway.com. But otherwise it was just the number one house-swapping site, whatever that is. You can just Google it.

Bobbi Rebell:
Have you done more, by the way, since then?

Samantha Ettus:
We haven't done more. And the other lesson I think is-

Bobbi Rebell:
Wait, why not?

Samantha Ettus:
Because we actually fortunately got into a position where we didn't need to do a house swap for a vacation. We found other ways to pay for the vacation. The other thing is we were in a New York city co-op, and like shh, but you're not really supposed to be house swapping in a New York City co-op. So it was a little bit tricky. But it's many years later. So I think I'm safe to share that with your listeners. But at the end of the day, it all worked out beautifully. I think in general we had a great situation. Their house was not as clean as I would have liked it to be. It wasn't as clean as a hotel would be. There were certain things that weren't perfect, but it was as close to good as you could get. I think the lesson is just you can always figure it out.

Samantha Ettus:
But the other lesson is to always keep that vacation money aside. Like figure out either a side hustle or figure out a way to put away money for a vacation. Because at least in my family, we are a two-income family. My husband and I are both working, and our vacations are so important to us because it's a lot of quality time with our kids. And so especially as our kids are getting older, we care so much about that time. And I think prioritizing vacations as a family is a really good use of your money, because those experiences are more valuable than things.

Bobbi Rebell:
And I'm so glad you said that. It reminds me of the question that Warren Buffet got from a child recently asking about how to suppress his desire to, for example, go on vacation. I think they were talking about Disney, or Warren Buffet brought up the idea of Disney that you can say you want to save up for a seven-day trip to Disney, but then by the time you've saved up for seven days, your child is not the right age anymore or the age that you wanted to go. So maybe it's better to go for a two or three-day Disney trip. Or in your case, maybe it's better to go on a home swap and go on the vacation rather than just not, rather than waiting for the perfect time when you're completely financially able to afford your dream vacation. You have to live your life.

Samantha Ettus:
And the other thing about that it's the same thing as people saying, well, it's not the right time to have a baby, it's not the right time to fall in love, it's not... The bottom line is life doesn't work that way. And if you fall in love, go for it. If you want to have a kid, you'll figure it out. There's no perfect time for any of this. But I do think that time passes really fast with people you love. And so the more time you can spend having those experiences now it's really worth it. Don't delay happiness.

Bobbi Rebell:
Don't delay happiness. Excellent point.

“Time is more valuable than any other thing you have so use it wisely.”

Samantha's everyday money tip:

Samantha Ettus:
Yes. I think it is critical to think of your time as money. So for example, I mean this is just a little small example, but part of my team yesterday was ordering in lunch because we had a big conference call, and one of my employees who focuses on the budget was like, "Oh my gosh, it's so expensive." And someone said, "Well I'll just go get it." And I was like, "Hold on. Hold on one second. The amount of money we're saving for you to go get it, for you to be gone from the office to go get it for 45 minutes is actually not worth the $8 we're saving."

Samantha Ettus:
And so sometimes we forget that time is money. And that's just a micro example at work. But then at home it's like I will meet so many people who think it's better to not spend $40 on a housekeeper once a week or $50 on housekeeper once a week, instead of doing it themselves. But what could you be doing in that four hours? Could you be working on a side hustle, or that business idea you've always wanted to start? Like there are so many things you could do with that time. Or is it maybe worth it to spend that time doing something alone with your child?

Samantha Ettus:
I think it's pivotal to think of time as money. And pretty much time is more valuable than any other thing you have. So use it wisely.

Bobbi’s Take:

Financial Grownup tip number one:

Samantha talks about the cost of being out of the workforce, but with so many entrepreneurial ventures these days, how that is defined is changing. So you may work for yourself and not be in a traditional job and think you are good to go. And you are good to go to an extent, but you need to make sure that if you are not working for a corporation that gives you benefits, you are also paying yourself the benefits that you would have had. And specifically I want to focus on retirement savings. Many full-time jobs have some kind of plan, often a 401k with a match. If you do something yourself, for example, for the flexibility, something like Park Place Payments, make sure you calculate more than just your salary when you are figuring out how much you are really making, and make sure you set up a retirement plan for yourself and you fund it consistently.

Financial Grownup tip number two:

Go on short vacations if you are on a budget. My family wanted to go to Iceland. It is crazy expensive. We went for four days. We had an amazing time. And if you can pay for part of it, by the way, with points and so on, do it. Don't save it all up for the most amazing round-the-world trip when you get old. Just use it now. Don't save it for when the time is perfect. Do it. I'm looking at my 12-year-old and wondering how he is 12 years old, and I am so happy that we have gone on the trips that we've gone on, and my only regret really is that we haven't done more adventures as a family traveling.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Samantha’s website - www.samanthaettus.com/

Park Place Payments Website - www.ParkPlacePayments.com

• To access your path to financial freedom, join the family of Account Executives- Receive $100 off of Park Place Academy when you enter code: financialgrownup

Follow Samantha!

• Instagram - @SamanthaEttus

• Facebook - @SamanthaEttus

• Twitter - @SamanthaEttus

• LinkedIn - @SamanthaEttus

Follow Park Place Payments!

• Instagram - @parkplacepayments

• Facebook - @parkplacepayments

• Twitter - @parkplacepower

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Happy Go Money author Melissa Leong shares the story of how her teen novels were rejected by mainstream publishers, but went on to sell over 70,000 copies after she decided to take control of her own career. Plus everyday social media tips to be happier no matter how much money you have or don’t have.

“You can’t wait around to make the perfect amount of money. You can’t wait around for your boss to give you that raise for you to be happy.”

Melissa’s Money Story:

I tried to shop this around. It's a vampire series, during the time ... Well, it was the tail end of Twilight, so no publisher wanted another vampire book. So I got a lot of no’s, in which case I was faced with this decision of, what is my dream worth? I want to get this done, so what am I willing to invest in myself? So I created a budget of how much I would spend on, pay a designer to create a cover, to publish it myself, to put it out into the world.

I self-published it, and yes, it turned out, in more ways than one, to be a great, great experience, something that I consider a success in my life. Something that I could check off my bucket list. And I still get the occasional check in the mail, even though I don't do all that much work publicizing it. I did make my money back and then some, and it was basically a great gift that I could give to myself, just in terms of learning that I could build a brand, make money for myself outside of a salary, and take those tools and make more money in another career.

Bobbi Rebell:
Tell us more about the journey. Did you write it first, and then you went to different publishers? How did it actually work? And how did the economics change between, if you had gotten a deal with a traditional publisher versus your own situation where you were self-publishing? What did that actually involve from a business and an economic standpoint, and a marketing standpoint?

Melissa Leong:
I think people don't realize that when you go and you create any product, you are entering into a business. You're your own business. You're your own publisher. I learned so much about being my own marketing department, my own publishing, and quality control, and PR, and that all requires resources, time and money. So yeah, I didn't have a publisher to push my books, but because I was doing everything myself, I had full control, and I had a huge percentage of the cut of sales. A traditional publisher might give you 7% off of the book selling price, but say you publish through Amazon, you get 70%, depending on what you price the book at. That was really rewarding.

Bobbi Rebell:
I realize we were talking about PR for the book. We didn't say what the book title was, and where people can get it. We should say that, right?

Melissa Leong:
Yes. It's still on Amazon. The first book is called What Kills Me, and the second is I Am Forever. It's a teen adventure novel. It's based on a vampire story.

“Mute the people on social media who make you feel bad about yourself”

Melissa’s Money Lesson:

The same lesson that I have when it comes to happiness. I think we sit around waiting for external factors to fulfill us, and that's not how life will serve you best. You can't wait around to make the perfect amount of money. You can't wait around for your boss to give you that raise, for you to be happy. Happiness is for you to fulfill for yourself. It's the same thing with any of your goals or your dreams. They all seem lofty, and they all seem huge in the beginning, but you have to take that first step. You turn on the heat, and if you turn off the heat before the water boils, the water will never boil. You just have to keep going. You break everything down into some sort of small, bite-sized goal, like writing a 60,000-word book in six months. That was my goal, and I thought, "That is ridiculous. How am I going to do that?"

Well, I broke it down to the smallest thing. Every single day, five days a week, I have to write 500 words. There you go. If, by the end of the day, I haven't written 500 words of something for this novel, then I didn't feel good. I also had a partner who I could check in with, and say, "I met my goal today. Yay. Somebody keep me accountable." It was something very tangible to do in a very short period of time.

“I was faced with this decision. What is my dream worth? I want to get this done and so what am I willing to invest in myself”

Melissa’s Money Tip:

There is a study that shows that if you live beside somebody who's won the lottery, you are more apt to go bankrupt, because you're also spending on tangible, visible assets, even though you have not won any money. It is something that we beat ourselves up for, but it's something that you can control. You can put a tracker on your phone to see how much time you spend on social media. You can mute the people on social media who make you feel kind of jealous, who make you feel bad about yourself, who don't share your values. You can fill your feed with things that are uplifting, things that inspire you.

If you find yourself comparing yourself to other people, then choose what specific attributes that they have, that you admire. Don't admire somebody because they're rich. Admire them because they have some sort of tenacity, or some sort of perseverance quality that you think that you would like more of in your own life.

Bobbi’s Financial grownup tips:

Financial Grownup tip number one:

Inventory your stuff. We're not saying to do a Kon-Mari, reference to Marie Kondo, who is known for Tidying Up. Just know what you own, so you can make a decision about whether you want to own more. At least know what you have, so you don't make buying mistakes. So, for example, you don't buy something that you already have five of, you just didn't know where they were. And let's be honest, we've all done that. Make sure you know where your stuff is, so it's there for you when you need it.

Financial Grownup tip number two:

Again from Melissa's book, Happy Go Money: Delete your credit card info from the browser on your computer, your phone, iPad, whatever you use to shop, so you have to manually enter it each time you want to buy something. What I love about this advice is that it's not about buying something, whether you need it or just want it. That's okay. It is about creating a speed bump so you have to slow down and think about the decision, and make it a thoughtful one, and it's okay to buy things.

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Melissa's book Happy Go Money

• Melissa’s website - www.MelissaLeong.com

Follow Melissa!

• Instagram - @LisLeong

• LinkedIn - @MelissaWLeong

• Twitter - @LisLeong

• Facebook - @Melissa.W.Leong

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Happy Go Money author Melissa Leong shares the story of how her teen novels were rejected by mainstream publishers, but went on to sell over 70,000 copies after she decided to take control of her own career. Plus everyday social media tips to be happier no matter how much money you have or don’t have. In this Financial Grownup podcast episode you’ll learn the things you can do to create your happiness. #Happiness #Author

Big cities have a lot to offer- but can be expensive. Co-host Grant Sabatier, creator of Millennnial Money and author of the new book “Financial Freedom. A Proven Path to All the Money You Will Ever Need” recently moved to New York City despite the costs. He shares his three biggest tips to making it work for your financial grownup money goals, and still live life to the fullest.



Here are 3 tips for expensive city living

• How you can plan for the big fixed expenses

• Why you should balance the convenience of prepped vs non-prepped items

• The importance of getting out of the city

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Grant's book - Financial Freedom: A Proven Path to All the Money You Will Ever Need

• Check out the book trailer here

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Bobbi reveals her favorite new money related books, and how to decide if they are right for you. This month’s picks include The Startup Squad by Brian Weisfeld and Nicole Kear, Grown and Flown: How to support your teen, stay close as a family and raise independent adults which is by Mary Dell Harrington and Lisa Heffernan, And then finally The Essential First-Time Home Buyers book: How to buy a house, Get a Mortgage and Close a Real Estate deal by Judy Dutton and Realtor.com editors.

Some ground rules:

There will be only positive comments. Because why waste your time telling you about something I don’t think is worth your time. 

Also - we limit our selections to books written by authors that appear on the podcast. In most cases they will have already appeared- so you can then go back and listen to their episode if you want to learn more. Occasionally, the episode will be in the future - so hopefully you will subscribe so you don’t miss it. 

Here are 3 books I truly enjoyed in the past month!

Book #1

The Startup Squad - which is aimed at kids but I will tell you it hits on themes and lessons many adults in business will truly benefit from.

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. Don’t be fooled by the illustration on the cover or the fact that this is about a lemonade stand. This is a sophisticated book disguised as a kids book. The book covers a lot of territory.

2. They get into extreme detail- for example: the cost of ingredients, pricing strategy and profit margin, organization and planning ahead, design and branding, the importance of selecting the right location to attract target customers- and of course how to figure out who your target customers are in the first place.

3. The book addresses the more human issues associated with a business- including dealing with imposter syndrome, competition, and interpersonal relationships among team members.

Who is this book for?

This book is of course great for kids but I strongly recommend it for aspiring entrepreneurs. It covers all the bases. I also recommend parents read it and then discuss with their kids. Investors will also benefit because they can learn more about how to identify a business that is setting itself up for success, and the skillset to look for in founders. There are so many layered nuances to this book that it really creates a framework for understanding exactly what goes into a successful startup. I loved this this book and am thrilled it is the first in a series.

Book #2

Moving on the the next life stage- the teenage years. Here we have Grown and Flown: How to support your teen, stay close as a family and raise independent adults which is by Mary Dell Harrington and Lisa Heffernan,who are the founders of the #1 website for parents of teens and young adults. People magazine named them 2 of 25 women changing the world.

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. While there are endless resources for new parents, the information overload thins out substantially as kids get older. But in this age of extended childhood and delayed adulthood, we all need more guidance

2. While the authors have a lot of great advice, the book’s heart and depth comes from it’s broad sourcing of contributors. You feel like you have an army of advisors bringing you information you were either looking for- didn’t know you needed.

3. They go there. Topics include the expected on family life and happiness, college admissions and academics. But they also tackle, love, sex and the ultimate taboo- mental health.. and yes even money. For example: in the chapter on college admissions, the authors point out the importance of understanding the financial costs- the sticker price, meaning the listed tuition, is not the whole story- or even close. Financial aid letters can be misleading And to make sure you understand the average number of years it takes a student to graduate- it is not always four. An example of the advice: Don’t let a small price differential keep you from choosing the school that is the best fit - but that debt also matters a lot and needs to be factored in.

Who is this book for?

Primarily it is for parents of kids ages 15 -25- the teenage and college years. But as the parent of a 12 year old- I can say it’s never too early to learn about these years and if anything it will make you appreciate the simpler times of younger kids.

Book #3

The third book I am recommending this month is The Essential First-Time Home Buyers book: How to buy a house, Get a Mortgage and Close a Real Estate Deal

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. It is to the point. This book is going to get you the information you need, and is a great compliment to the realtor.com website- it is self contained and an easy shortcut for first time homeowners.

2. It has fun and fascinating (and sometimes reality check) trivia. Did you know: the average in state move costs $2300? Moving out of state averages $4300!

3. It cuts through the BS with recurring “myths” like the the fact that a new home doesn’t need to be inspected- or that you can’t buy a home if you have bad credit- even a score under 600. . The editors also tell you the truth that a human often won’t. For example: did you know that your appraiser works for the lender- not you. My favorite: 5 things never to say at a real estate closing.

Who is this book for?

Clearly people who are buying their first home. It’s a small book and you can literally carry it with you when you look at homes rather than fumble to look stuff up on your phone. But also current home owners can benefit- as can renters - because in the end every time we decide to rent or stay in our home- that is a decision made that should be done in comparison to the benefits or drawbacks of owning a home. This book lays out what you need to know- so that you can be deliberate in your decision whether or not to buy a home or upgrade or downsize to a new home

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Brian Weisfeld’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of The Startup Squad

• Mary Dell’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Grown and Flown: How to support your teen, stay close as a family and raise independent adults

• Judy Dutton’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of The Essential First-Time Home Buyers book: How to buy a house, Get a Mortgage and Close a Real Estate Deal

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

First homes and dorms often trigger huge spending sprees, for what is also usually a very small space. We break down how to prioritize and save money with Mary Dell Harrington, co-author of the new book Grown and Flown, How to Support your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults.

5 Ways to Save While Setting Up a Dorm of New Apartment

1. Gather all the info before you make one purchase.

2. Never Pay Full Price.

3. Live with your space before buying too much.

4. This Back to School Shopping is Totally Different Than K-12

5. Understand Why Shopping Feels So Important

Episode Links:

• Mary’s website - www.GrownandFlown.com

• Mary’s book Grown & Flown

Follow Mary!

• Instagram - @GrownandFlown

• Facebook - @GrownandFlown

• Facebook - @GrownandFlownParents

• Twitter - @GrownandFlown

• LinkedIn - @Grown-and-Flown

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

The Startup Club author Brian Weisfeld joins Bobbi to share the story of how he beat the competition- by hiring them while he grew his first business in elementary school. He also shares an every day money tip about lowering your subscription bills, even if the initial phone calls threatening to cancel fail.

Brian's money story

It definitely was my first business, and I think I was in sixth grade at the time. I've somehow managed to buy a hundred pounds of gummy bears in bulk. And I hired my friends to sell them. And we sold them in our elementary school. My father was an accountant and I recently found the paper ledger that I kept with the sales of all my different friends. And I'm proud to say I was the highest sales person as well as the founder of the company.

Bobbi Rebell:
Where did you get the idea to sell gummy bears and how did this business actually function? Where did you get the capital to start it?

Brian Weisfeld:
I was always interested in business, and took birthday money and allowance money and pulled it together to buy these gummy bears. And I knew that my best bet was to get my friends and as many people to sell them as possible, because as soon as I started selling them, everyone else is going to have a great idea to sell gummy bears or some other kind of candy. And so I hired most of my friends, and I had almost all the other entrepreneurs essentially working for me, taking them out of the market before they can even do it themselves.

Bobbi Rebell:
So you basically hired the potential competition to make sure they didn't start competing businesses.

Brian Weisfeld:
Exactly.

Bobbi Rebell:
Do you remember why you chose gummy bears? What was it about that product that appealed to you? Did you think about better profit margins for example? What was it about gummy bears?

Brian Weisfeld:
I liked gummy bears. That was it. And I do school visits now, and I tell the kids that I sold a hundred pounds of gummy bears. And then I tell them, well actually I ate two pounds of the gummy bears, so I really only sold 98 pounds.

Bobbi Rebell:
How business savvy were you at the time? So your book goes into things like pricing strategy, profit margin, marketing and so on. And also by the way, dealing with competition and what's fair competition and what's not fair competition. How much of that did you use when you were building your gummy bear business?

Brian Weisfeld:
I definitely had a sense of profit margins. I knew exactly what I was paying for the gummy bears. I knew how much I wanted to essentially sell them to my sales team. And the ones that I sold for myself, I definitely had a higher profit margin on. But I didn't want to get stuck with a hundred pound of gummy bears. And so having my friends essentially selling it wholesale to them, allowed me to make some profit and also to take some risk off the table as well.

Bobbi Rebell:
And what was the biggest challenge at the time?

Brian Weisfeld:
Not getting caught.

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh, it wasn't above board? What was going on there?

Brian Weisfeld:
Well we were not really allowed to sell candy in schools. And so...

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh you were selling it in school. Okay. Because the lemonade stand is actually a school sanctioned project. This was not officially above board.

Brian Weisfeld:
Yeah. So hopefully my old principal is not listening right now.

Brian’s money lesson

Brian Weisfeld:
So I would say two things. One is to think like an entrepreneur, even if you don't want to start your own business. The value of that entrepreneurial mindset, to see opportunities where other people see problems, and to get comfortable with risks. And to realize that failure is only what happens when you don't try. It's not what happens if you don't succeed. That mindset can make you more successful, regardless of what you want to do in life. And then the other thing I would say is the value of the team. I hired, the friends of mine, these were my friends. They were all smart people. I knew they were aggressive. And these were people I knew I wanted to work with, and I would be successful working with, even in sixth grade.

Bobbi Rebell:
So you vetted the team. But sometimes people say, oh, it's not good to have friends work for you. Maybe work as equals, but working for you can often really strain a friendship.

Brian Weisfeld:
I completely agree. It's a very high risk, high reward strategy. Certainly there's a trust factor that happens with friendship, but it is clearly a challenge. In this case it was pretty easy because they were almost subcontractors. I was selling them gummy bears at wholesale, and they were then going and reselling.

Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah well it sounds like you also knew their character. And because they were effectively independent contractors, the risk was on them, and the reward was on them in terms of they were basically running their own mini businesses, and you are effectively providing the merchandise, but you weren't necessarily controlling how much they made. Or was it up to them?

Brian Weisfeld:
Totally agree. I wasn't working with them on their sales pitch or their marketing or those sorts of things. They were just buying the gummy bears from me in bulk, and going off and doing it.

Bobbi Rebell:
And you never got caught.

Brian Weisfeld:
I never got caught.

Brian's everyday money tip

Brian Weisfeld:
Yeah, this is always a personal favorite. I've been doing this for a few years. I probably started it when things were just looking to save some money. Essentially every subscription you have, it's a newspaper, it's a cable provider, it's a entertainment, it's satellite radio, whatever it is, call them and cancel. Just tell them you want to cancel because it's too expensive. They'll put someone on the phone with you and you will get a much, much better price. I've had price savings of probably 50 to 70% in some of my subscription just by calling and saying, I want to cancel.

Bobbi Rebell:
And what if they won't budge and you still do want the service?

Brian Weisfeld:
Well, that hasn't happened to me yet. I'm usually pretty careful about saying, it's too expensive. What can you do? And if they say, hey there's nothing I can do, I'll say, well, are there promotions or other things, is it worth calling back? And a lot of times they will tell you, well the year end or the quarter end, we'll run something, so maybe check back with us then.

Bobbi Rebell:
Can you give us a specific story that illustrates how you do this?

Brian Weisfeld:
Yeah, so the one... I hope this doesn't cancel my satellite radio subscription. I have satellite radio in one of my cars, and I think they charge $15 a month or something like that. And I called to cancel and I got a six month subscription for like $30. [crosstalk 00:10:38] Instead of $15 a month and you just... I leave myself a little calendar invite at the end of six months, call them back and cancel it again, and extend that same program.

Bobbi Rebell:
I think that calendar invite is the key thing because a lot of these companies, and look, they're trying to do business, so more power to them. But they count on the fact that you will forget, that it's only a temporary break on the pricing. And that you'll forget and then they'll bump you back up. So you put the calendar invite in, so you know when you need to cycle back, and go back and ask for that discount again.

Bobbi’s Financial grownup tips:

1. Let's talk about the concept of frenemies, because it speaks to being practical about people that aren't really your friends, but you don't want to be your enemies. So you make them allies, carefully. Although I have no doubt Brian's friends were genuine in that case. He did recognize that if he didn't get them on his team, they could create another team that would compete with him. If you have a goal and there was someone that could potentially become a stumbling block, think of a way to get them on your side, instead of fighting them for a bigger slice of the pie. Find a way to work with others to grow the pie.

2. Don't buy too much stuff. I admit this is only tangentially related to this story, but I can't help but think about it. In this age of going to Costco, and the economies of buying in bulk, and all the mistakes that I have made and my family has made. I couldn't help but notice that he did mention that at least a part of the reason that he outsourced some selling, was that he simply bought so much. It was fine for his business. It all worked out, but in our lives, unless you have a huge need and a lot of storage space, it's okay to buy small. Even if it seems like a bargain, buying more than you need rarely rarely gets you ahead. Especially if you don't have a need for it, and you're not going to use it anytime soon.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Brian’s website - www.thestartupsquad.com

7 Books for Parents and Kids to Read Together to Learn About Money

Follow Brian!

• Instagram - @thestartupsquad

• Facebook - @thestartupsquad

• Twitter - @thestartupsquad

• Pinterest - @thestartupsquad

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

The top 5 pitfalls for first-time homeowners to avoid

• Pitfall 1: Not checking your credit score

• Pitfall 2: Not figuring out how much home you can afford

• Pitfall 3: Not getting pre-approved for a mortgage

• Pitfall 4: Assuming you need a 20% down payment

• Pitfall 5: Just going with the first real estate agent someone recommends

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Realtor.com

• The Book: The Essential First-Time Home Buyer's Book: How to Buy a House, Get a Mortgage, And Close a Real Estate Deal

• Mortgage Calculator

Follow Judy!

• Facebook - @judy.dutton.10

• Twitter - @judy_dutton

• LinkedIn

Follow Realtor.com!

• Facebook - @Realtor.com

• Twitter - @realtordotcom

• LinkedIn - @Realtor-com

• Instagram - RealtorDotCom

• Pinterest - @RealtorDotCom

• YouTube - @RealtorDotCom

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Bobbi reveals her favorite new money related books, and how to decide if they are right for you. This month’s picks include “Mom and Dad We Need to Talk. How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances” by Cameron Huddleston, “Clever Girl Finance: Ditch Debt, Save Money, and Build Real Wealth” by Bola Sokunbi and “Agent of Influence How to use Spy Skills to Sell Anything and Build a Successful Business” by Jason Hanson”

Some ground rules:

There will be only positive comments. Because why waste your time telling you about something I don’t think is worth your time. 

Also - we limit our selections to books written by authors that appear on the podcast. In most cases they will have already appeared- so you can then go back and listen to their episode if you want to learn more. Occasionally, the episode will be in the future - so hopefully you will subscribe so you don’t miss it. 

Here are 3 books I truly enjoyed in the past month!

Book #1

This book holds a special place in my heart- I have known the author, Cameron Huddleston for a few years and I feel like I had a front row seat seeing how this book evolved based on her own extremely intense personal experience. After years of hard work the book was finally released on June 25th and It is called “Mom and Dad we need to talk. How to have Essential conversations with your parents about their Finances.” And I was honored that Cameron asked me to write a blurb for the back cover so be sure to check that out if you pick up the book.

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. This is one of those taboo topics- that should not be but is. It’s like when they say people are more comfortable talking about sex than about money, This is kind of the ultimate taboo and as I have said, it is one that I personally struggle with.

2. She has specific solutions in the book if you like me, just don’t want to deal with this. One chapter (8 if you want to know) is literally called A step by step approach to a successful conversation. Which include things that should be obvious but aren’t: like listening without bias and write down everything. And for those of you asking to yourself - what if it doesn’t work- she even has a chapter for what do to if you at first don’t succeed.

3. The very end of the book has a long and specific list of additional resources that will save you a ton of time..

Who is this book for?

It is for everyone with parents, or any older relatives or friend they either have financial ties to or could possibly have to care for in the future.

Book #2

Clever Girl Finance: Ditch Debt, Save Money and Build Real Wealth by Bola Sokunbi.

Bola has developed a huge following because of her incredible story of saving $100,000 in 3 years after college and is an advocate for women’s financial independence. She is a certified financial educator and has a podcast and has been featured in several media outlets including Money Magazine and ABC News. This book is an extension of her popular website “Clever Girl Finance”

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. Bola admits to her own money mistakes. Like the time she celebrated that 100,000 savings by spending thousands on a Chanel bag.. and then more handbags. This actually happened. You can listen to it on the episode I did with Bola last year. We’ll link to it in the show notes.. but we’ve all had that moment. If not with money- then something else like celebrating weight loss- by eating something that was NOT on the eating plan. She’s right there with us and gets how hard it is.

2. She includes real world examples through case studies and interviews with women who have come back from severe debt to financial freedom and the opportunities that the success has provided. The stories are motivating and inspiring.

3. Speaking of inspiring- I love the inspirational quotes Bola includes: some are from big names like Oprah Winfrey’s quote “Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher” and some are from Bola directly and hit the mark including “knowing where you stand financially will help you make plans for where you want to go”.

Who is this book for?

It is aimed at a beginner audience but is a great refresher for those who are already on the path to financial independence. While in theory it is aimed at women, there’s really not much in this book that is limited to women or that excludes men so I would say to the men in the audience not to let the title keep you from checking out the book if it looks interesting.

Book #3

Agent of Influence. How to use spy skills to persuade anyone, sell anything and build a successful business and it is by former CIA officer Jason Hanson.. founder of Spy Escape and Evasion. He is also the author of the NYTIMES best seller Spy Secrets that can save your life. The basic premise of the book is that spy skills are also business skills

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. The book has techniques that I had never heard of that a lot of very sophisticated people, especially in sales, probably have used on me very effectively. You feel like you are being let into a secret club where everyone knows things you don’t and now you are finally getting in on the secrets to how things really work.

2. Many of the specific skills taught in the book can translate into ways to be more successful in getting what you want in life, not just getting a sale or a deal. For example, Jason teaches readers how to get information from a conversation by looking at what is being communicated outside of the actual words. How to analyze facial expression, gestures, posture, eye contact, tone of voice, proximity and physical touch, and even the pace of their breathing. Things I never thought about but that really do tell a lot about what’s really going on. Using that extra information can give you an edge.

3. Almost as a case study, Jason shares his behind the scenes experience on Shark Tank and how he spent a ton of time researching the sharks, learning who would be the best fit, and how he would reel in this shark- in this case Daymond John- whom he wanted to work with for a very specific reason which he explains in the book. It really takes it to another level. I also research people heavily before big meetings and it has served me well.

Who is this book for?

This is a book for ambitious people who are willing to put in the work. Because all of Jason’s great ideas don’t just happen without putting in direct and thoughtful preparation. But they are innovative and they are things most of us will now know so they are well worth your time if you want to invest in yourself.

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Cameron Huddleston’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Mom and Dad We Need To Talk

• Bola Sokunbi’s Financial Grownup episode + her Financial Grownup Guide episode + Get your copy of Clever Girl Finance

• Jason Hanson’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Agent of Influence

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Having good credit matters for so many things we want to do as financial grownups- from things as simple as getting a credit card, to being able to get a mortgage or even a job. But there are a lot of myths around what makes a good credit score and what can hurt it. We tackle 6 of them with Clever Girl Finance author Bola Sokunbi. 

6 credit myths that will probably surprise you

• Myth #1: paying your cell hone bill builds your credit score

• Myth #2: Carrying a credit card balance is good for your credit

• Myth #3 Closing unused credit cards is good for your credit

• Myth #4: Thinking you only have one credit score

• Myth #5: Checking your credit report will not reduce your credit score

• Myth #6 A bad credit score cannot be rebuilt

Episode Links

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Bola’s website - www.CleverGirlFinance.com

Bola’s previous Financial Grownup episode

Follow Bola!

• Instagram - @CleverGirlFinance

• Facebook - @CleverGirlFinance

• Twitter - @CleverGirlCGF

• Pinterest - @CleverGirlCGF

• YouTube - @CleverGirlFinance

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Cameron Huddleston wrote her new book “Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk. How to Have Essential Conversations With Your Parents About Their Finances” when she found herself confronted with huge issues after not talking to her mom about her money- which she shares on the podcast. The book hits on a huge issue impacting all generations and all income levels. 

Cameron's money story:

Cameron Huddleston:
Yes. I had moved from Washington DC where I was working for Kiplingers Personal Finance magazine. I had moved to my home state of Kentucky, actually across the street from my mom. I said to her, "Mom, I think you need to look into long-term care insurance." She and my father had divorced years before that, and she was living on her own. I knew that if she had any long-term care needs, it would be helpful to have long-term care insurance to help cover those costs. She took my advice-

Bobbi Rebell:
Wait, for people that don't know long-term care insurance is specifically to cover things like a nursing home that you would live in. That kind of thing.

“A big benefit of having a third party involved with these conversations is because your parents might be reluctant to talk to you but they are going to listen to the advice of someone else.”

Cameron Huddleston:
Yes, assisted living, memory care, and in case you don't know this, Medicare does not cover those costs.

Bobbi Rebell:
What's a typical cost of that if somebody or their parents end up having to pay that out of pocket?

Cameron Huddleston:
The average cost of assisted living is about $4,500 a month. That's average. A nursing home is 80-$90,000 a year.

Bobbi Rebell:
Okay, so you moved back home to across the street from your mom, and you're learning about her situation?

Cameron Huddleston:
Yes. I asked her to check in a long-term care insurance. She took my advice. She met with an insurance agent. Unfortunately, she did not qualify for coverage, because she had another preexisting condition that made her too high risk. At that point I should have said, "Okay mom, you can't get long-term care insurance coverage. Let's look at your financial assets, figure out where you stand, and figure out how we would pay for this care if you needed it."

I can look back and say, that's what I should've said, but I didn't. I didn't even think about it at all. Say being what it is, a few years later, she started having trouble with her memory. At that point, I knew I needed to act quickly and talk to her, but because I was already facing a crisis, if I wanted to start talking to her about money, I would have to explain to her why, "Mom, we need to talk about your finances, because I can see you're having trouble with your memory."

I didn't want to have to be the one to tell her that. I didn't care about talking to her about money. That didn't feel like a taboo topic to me. I didn't want to tell her that I thought she was losing her memory. Eventually, with the help of a doctor actually, I got her doctor to suggest that she get tested for dementia, and he did.

During that process I said, "Mom, I think we need to go meet with your attorney and get all your legal documents updated. Because the thing is you have to be competent, mentally competent to sign a will or a living trust, a power of attorney document, and an advanced healthcare directive. If you are no longer competent, you cannot sign those documents."

Then if you get into a situation like my mother did where she is no longer able to make financial and healthcare decisions on her own, if she had not named me power of attorney and healthcare power of attorney, I would have had to go to court, basically put her on trial to prove that she was no longer competent, spent thousands of dollars to get conservatorship for her. I act too quickly. I knew I had to do this. She was still competent enough. I dodged a bullet, but then I had to figure out her finances while she was already forgetting things, and it was so difficult.

Bobbi Rebell:
Right. So how did that work? What did you find?

Cameron Huddleston:
I had to approach it very carefully. I didn't want to look like I was going in and taking over, especially in the early stages of her dementia. I didn't want her to feel like she was losing all of her independence. So I just did things little by little.

One of the benefits of meeting with the attorney was that she suggested that we go to the bank, and put me on her account as her representative payee. That's certainly a big benefit of having a third-party involved with these conversations is because your parents might be reluctant to talk to you, but they're going to listen to the advice of someone else. So the attorney said go to the bank. We took her advice, and then that sort of opened the door to having some more conversations about what role I was going to have to play going forward.

She had all this cash just sitting in her bank account. Fortunately, she had not opened an online account. She was so old fashioned, she never used debit card. She used checks. So I was able to go online and set-up online banking for her and monitor her bank account, because one of the issues that she was having was writing checks to every organization that would send her something in the mail, like organization she had no ties to.

So, I had to make sure she wasn't just spending all her money writing these charitable contribution checks.

Bobbi Rebell:
Which is something that happens to a lot of seniors.

Cameron Huddleston:
Oh yeah, it's a big problem. Then you've got to worry about scammers and stuff. I decided to take that money and put it into an annuity. Not that you or I would necessarily recommend that everyone get an annuity, but I knew that it would be a safe place to put her money. It would earn some interest, hands off for several years, and then use it down the road when I needed it to pay for her care.

Cameron’s money lesson:

Cameron Huddleston:
The lesson is please don't wait to have these conversations with your parents. A lot of people I talk to and hear from say, "Well, I don't need to have this conversation yet. We're not there yet. Mom and dad are still healthy." That is exactly the time you need to have it. You need to have the conversations when your parents are healthy. There's not a financial crisis, there's not a health crisis, because then everyone is entirely competent. Your parents know what assets they have, what they don't have, what legal documents they have.

“You need to have the conversations when your parents are healthy. There is not a financial crisis. There is not a health crisis. Because then everyone is entirely competent.”

You have time to get those legal documents if they don't have them. Emotions are not running high. There's so many more options available to you. If a crisis does arise, you can make a plan for how they are going to age comfortably. You can't do that if there's already a crisis.

Cameron's everyday money tip:

Cameron Huddleston:
I think I have a pretty good tip. It's something that I have done myself. I set-up alerts with my credit card account. It's so easy. You just log onto your account online. There's usually most credit card companies will have a place where you can click on alerts and notifications. I set it up to get alerts every time my credit card is used. The benefit of this is that it alerts you to fraud, which has happened to me.

“If your parents are counting on your to be their caregiver.. wouldn’t you rather know this now .. because you might have to prepare your own finances”

It was really an unfortunate situation. I was at a visitation for a family member who had died, and my phone, it was like a little ding from the message. I looked at it and it said my credit card had been used. Then I got another ding that it was used again and I was like, "Wait a second, I did not make these charges." I got on the phone, called my credit card company and I said, "I think my credit card number has been stolen. I want you to flag these transactions as fraud and I want to cancel my card." Thank goodness for the alerts. I mean, I knew right away that there was something fishy.

In My Take you will learn:

Financial Grownup tip number one:

Make sure proactive decisions are being made about insurance, not just for yourself and your immediate family, but also for anyone who is what I would call stakeholders in your family financial ecosystem. So everyone whose finances could impact yours, only you can decide if you need and at what amount you may need. For example, life insurance, long-term care insurance, healthcare insurance and so on.

Make sure those decisions are being made for everyone that is tied to you financially, because the decisions made or not made can and in many cases, will impact your life. So make sure that the people you care about have the information and that they're making decisions. Because obviously as we always say, not making a decision is actually making a decision. It's just not one that you are aware of all the time.

Financial Grownup tip number two:

If you don't feel comfortable having these conversations now, this is what you need to do. Go through in your mind and play out how things could go if you don't get this done, if you don't have the conversations, what happens? It may give you some motivation.

Bobbi Rebell:
Read Cameron's book for example of the reality of how this goes. For her, it was not perfect but she dodged a bullet as she says, but she gives some examples that will certainly motivate you because things can go very bad, very fast, very unexpectedly and with a very high price tag. Even what seems like the most basic things can be huge stresses at the worst time. As an example, a relative of mine recently passed, and when we visited her husband a few days later, rather than focusing on his own emotional healing, he was actually stressed out just trying to figure out her passwords. I mean, that's terrible.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Cameron’s website - www.CameronHuddleston.com

Cameron’s Book - Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations With Your Parents About Their Finances

Follow Cameron!

• Facebook - @CameronHuddlestonMoneyExpert

• Twitter - @CHLebedinsky

• LinkedIn

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Invested author and podcast host Danielle Town talks candidly about her sometimes painful family money history and how she and her dad healed their relationship, and eventually teamed up to educate others about money and investing. 

Danielle's money story:

Danielle Town:
Yeah, when I was about 11 my parents split up. My dad is an investor, he's very well known. My mom was a stay at home homemaker. Mom, they split up, and often when people do that the money is a huge issue. The money was a huge issue for us. They went into a major divorce war. My dad left and he took the money with him. You know, as an adult now I can kind of see what happened there, but at the time I had no clue. I just knew that my dad was gone, and that we had to leave our house, and my mom had to go get a job. Everything changed. We had no money except for necessities.

“I think we avoid so much money pain. I mean, money is different than anything else. Money is so much emotionally about our worth.”

Danielle Town:
It really affected me and I didn't really understand how much until I started doing ... My dad, just to close that loop. My dad came back, they ended up working things out without lawyers actually, and have now a very good relationship.

Bobbi Rebell:
How long was that period though when things were in disarray?

Danielle Town:
It was a couple years. It was pretty bad for a while.

Bobbi Rebell:
And what did your mom do just to fill in the blank there? She was a homemaker, what did she end up doing for those few years?

Danielle Town:
Well, she was a trained teacher so she went back to teaching fifth grade in the school that we were at actually. You know, she had a skill and she was able to go and do that, but it was just a huge change for us, and she's now a school psychologist, and went back to school, and is doing incredibly well, so she's fantastic. And my dad and I obviously repaired our relationship, but we never talked about money stuff ever. It wasn't until I was in my early thirties, I was a corporate lawyer, and I was starting to make a little bit of money, and I thought, oh, my gosh, what do I do? And I did not want to talk to my dad at all, but I finally ... He was the only person I knew to ask, so I finally turned to him, I said, "What do I do?" And he said, "You have to learn how to invest," which was exactly what I knew he was going to say, and I wanted to avoid it so much, but through various pressures. I was ill, I was exhausted, and I needed to find a way to not be dependent on my salary, and he was the only person I could talk to about that, so we started our podcast together. I started learning about investing, and you can literally hear my entire journey from beginning to now.

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh, yeah. You're very candid on the podcast, which I love also. You mentioned that during the time that this was happening you didn't understand that much, but looking back you do see more of what was going on. Can you share a little bit about that from a financial and emotional perspective?

Danielle Town:
Exactly. I think we avoid so much money pain. I mean, money is different then anything else. Money is so much emotionally about our worth. It's about our worth to our family members, what we can actually bring home to help them financially. It's about our worth at work, what we're actually paid in salary. It's about our worth to our communities, how much can we devote to charity? How much can we support the people around us? I mean, money is intimately intertwined with how we feel and our emotions, and I think we need much more emotional vulnerability around money. I'm actually doing a Ted Talk about this in about a month, at the beginning of July, and it's such an important thing that we need to get going with because if we can change this avoidance that I felt, and that so many of us feel, we are going to be so much more powerful with an instrument that we are not using at all right now.

Bobbi Rebell:
Do you feel that you, or have you talked to your mom about what was in her mind going on at the time that she had been a homemaker, and suddenly she had to pay attention to money in a different way?

Danielle Town:
Oh, that's a good question, Bobbi. It's tough with. I mean, I don't want to bring my mom into it too much because she didn't ask to be put into this story publicly, but she does very well for herself now, and we have never really talked about that money stuff. It's painful and when we touch on it the pain is very much still there. No, we don't talk about it too much.

Danielle’s money lesson:

Danielle Town:
Yeah, exactly. I think the takeaway is we all grew up in some way with a relationship with money, and we were taught a certain relationship with money. We tend not to think about it too much because without a real perspective on what happened it's just how it is. I mean, there's not much thought about it. I grew up X way, and I kind of assume everybody else did too. I mean, I've had people say to me, like the second I start talking about this with people they know what their money story is. And I've had people say to me stuff like, "Oh, yeah, I was never given anything by my parents except for the bare necessities, so I started working when I was 13 years old, and now I have had a job, I have my own business, and I don't know who I am without working." A woman said that to me recently.

“Money is intimately intertwined with how we feel and our emotions, and I think we need much more emotional vulnerability around money.”

Bobbi Rebell:
Huh?

Danielle Town:
And she had clearly had never put that together, but as soon as I brought it up, as soon as I shared my story she knew hers immediately. It was right there. It's something about that where we need that little tiny push, but as soon as it's there those emotions come right up, and for me it was starting to work with investing, starting to work with financial markets, trying to learn this stuff, which was really difficult for me, and just not quite being able to get there. And it wasn't until I understood just by searching within myself that it was because I didn't fully trust my dad around money, and my dad was the guy teaching me now about money, and about investing that I even confronted that part of me.

Danielle Town:
I mean, if you had asked me a few years ago, I would have said, "Oh, I have no problems with money at all. I'm all super comfortable. It's all fine. Like [inaudible 00:10:15]." And it turns out none of that was true. I actually had a lot to deal with and it was incredibly painful. It's not until we're pushed that we're gonna get into that stuff. I mean, you just asked me if I speak to my mom about this stuff. There's no push to get into that with her, and for many of there is no push. And so until we start realizing that those things are holding us back, and we push ourselves we're not going to take that power back.

Bobbi Rebell:
Well said. That was very intense. No, but very thoughtful and a lot for all of us to think about. Our emotions and money, and being honest about our money story, and coming to terms with it.

Danielle's everyday money tip:

Danielle Town:
I have two. First of all this is what changed everything for me with my investing, I started to look around and look at what I was buying with my consumer dollars, and I discovered that I interact with products and services all the time every day in my house, in my work, in my daily life that are owned by public companies. And as soon as I discovered that, I realized that the same way I feel about consumer dollars, I can feel about money that I put into investing that I put into public companies, and that that money actually has a much great power than I give to it in my investing bank account.

“Just read the financial news in the morning, read the business news, and you don’t have to read the boring stuff. I skip the boring stuff. I read the stuff that just looks interesting.”

Danielle Town:
What that means is like I have my Apple iPhone next to me. Okay, so I know nothing about investing. I know about the financial markets. I can go research Apple just by Googling it, just by looking online, and discover some stuff about Apple as a company, rather than as just a consumer product that I use, and that's how I started to get really interested in investing, and start to see it kind of makes the vision look a little more 3D. You start to see companies all over the place. Carpet companies, and book companies, and phone companies, and computer companies. It's crazy.

Bobbi Rebell:
Right. Everything comes from somewhere.

Danielle Town:
Exactly.

Bobbi Rebell:
And that goes to your whole philosophy with Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, it's all about investing in things that you know.

Danielle Town:
Invest in things you know, and let's put our values where our money is going. Let's put our money into companies that are doing great things in the world that we support. Just like we do, or we try to do with our consumer dollars right now.

Danielle Town:
My second tip 'cause you said I have two, the second one is very simple, just read the financial news in the morning, read the business news, and you don't have to read the boring stuff. I skip the boring stuff. I read the stuff that just looks interesting. I give myself a good baseline, a good perspective on what's going on, on stuff that's cool, and fun, and interesting to find out about, and that's it. It doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to be filled with pressure. It's just simple. Just learn, just read, just understand going forward. And it starts to build on itself, and that 3D vision starts to happen. It's pretty cool when it happens and it happens really naturally.

In My Take you will learn:

Financial GrownUp Tip number one:

Whenever you get FOMO, aka fear of missing out, or you feel a little envy about somebody whose life looks perfect, think about Danielle. She is successful, happily married, living what from all accounts looks like a great life, but the truth is her life has been far from perfect. She has had struggles. We all do, but think about what she came back from, and what she built, and the amazing life that she has now. It reminds me a lot of what Tony Robbins talks about, that you just have to just decide, decide to take control of your life, don't be a victim. On the surface she is the child of Phil Town, uber successful investor, but yet you heard the story, things were not always perfect growing up.

Financial GrownUp Tip number two:

If you want to be a better investor, follow Danielle's advice and educate yourself. As Danielle said it can be as simple as keeping up with the financial news. If you want to learn the basics of investing, Danielle's book with her father, and their podcast are great resources. They make it super easy. Also, there are countless websites that can teach you the basics, and also keep you up to speed on the latest news. Some of my favorites are Investopedia, which also has a whole Investopedia Academy. The Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, and of course my former employers, CNBC. CNN, which has CNN Money now, and Reuters. There's also news aggregators that can make your life easy by pulling together the top headlines like Google Finance, Yahoo Finance, and SeekingAlpha.

Episode Links

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Listen to Danielle’s Ted Talk!!! 

Danielle’s website: www.DanielleTown.com

Listen to her podcast with her dad Phil Town:  Invested and on iTunes here 

Get Phil and Danielle Town’s book Invested! 

Some ideas to get started learning more about investing:

• Investopedia

• CNBC

• CNN Money

• Reuters

• GoogleFinance

• Yahoo Finance

• Seeking Alpha

Follow Danielle!

• Twitter: @danielle_town

• Instagram: @danielletown

• Facebook: @DanielleTownInvested

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Bobbi reveals her favorite new money related books, and how to decide if they are right for you. This month’s picks include “Take the Leap” by Sara Bliss, “The Remix” by Lindsey Pollak, ”Limitless” by Laura Gassner Otting and “The Wealth Creator’s Playbook” by John Christianson

Some ground rules:

There will be only positive comments. Because why waste your time telling you about something I don’t think is worth your time. 

Also - we limit our selections to books written by authors that appear on the podcast. In most cases they will have already appeared- so you can then go back and listen to their episode if you want to learn more. Occasionally, the episode will be in the future - so hopefully you will subscribe so you don’t miss it. 

Here are 4 books I truly enjoyed in the past month!

Book #1

Let’s start with Take the Leap. Change Your Career, Change Your Life by Sara Bliss. The book focuses on stories of people who left a career they were pretty settled in.. and well took the leap into something very very different. Taking the term career pivots to the extreme- more like pirouette’s.. And I love that the stories are told in a very short format- you can dip in and just read one in about 5 minutes and then come back to the book and be drawn to another- individual lite stories combined to make an in-depth resource. 

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. Her Mantra: Begin Anyhow. Because there is always going to be a reason not to start to move towards a new career. so begin anyhow.

2. While the book is as you would expect cheerful, upbeat and inspiring it is also extremely specific and detailed about the hard work and sacrifice often involved. Want to go from Wall Street to wine making? You may not need to but the person profiled went way downscale for a year to learn his craft before he actually started the career change. No magic pills here. 

3. She is totally transparent about the money focus. 70 percent of those profiled make more in their new and happier careers- so this isn’t about working for the love of the work- it is very much about finding ways to get paid more by disrupting your ideas about how to sell your skills. 

Who is this book for?

I’m tempted to say people unhappy with their careers but that’s not enough. To really get the most out of Take the Leap you have to be dreaming of something better and self aware enough to understand the work involved. 

Book #2

The Remix. How to lead and succeed in the Multigenerational Workplace by my friend multi-generational expert Lindsey Pollak. 

Did you know that there are 5 generations now in the workplace? The book’s title refers to the idea that at parties when a DJ wants to get everyone excited to dance- he plays a remix because the younger guests know the new song but it is also familiar to the older guests.. and next thing you know the dance floor is packed. 

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. Lindsey gives very easy to do things that can bring us all together. Like if workers feel displaced because of not having a permanent desk or office anymore- she presents solutions such as personalizing the things we bring with us everywhere like our computers. And Lindsey reframes the way we think about popular workplace concepts- instead of work/life balance. It is work life integration.

2. She recommends apps that also make it easier to implement her strategies. Like feedback apps to keep a continuous conversation going because some generations want feedback a lot more often than one annual review. 

3. The original research that Lindsey has done is what really sets this book apart. While she absolutely does interview the top thought leaders in the industry, and presents a ton of data,  The Remix is full of information that we have not read elsewhere because it is her original content.. from misperceptions about remote work, to the reality of whether ping pong tables and free lunch really work to retain employees in a tight job market. 

Who is this book for?

This book is for people who want a big picture look at the changes in the workplace in the last decade or so -along with specific solutions that they can implement in their own day to day work environment to just enjoy the time more and learn from other generations. 

Book #3

Book #3 is by Laura Gassner Otting and it is called Limitless. How to Ignore everybody, Carve Your own path and Live your Best life

This book is a bit woo woo self help book but in a good and literal way- trust me. It focuses on 4 functional elements to help us break through external and internal limits. 

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. It doesn’t so much tell you what you need to change in your life to be happy- rather, limitless focuses more on How you can figure it out for yourself. because we are all different and there isn’t a one size fits all. It gives you the framework. It’s up to each of us to determine our own personal version of success

2. As much as there is a cheerleader tone to this- it is balanced out by tough love. For example, being busy is not the same as getting results. So we need to have some honesty there- and that is something I personally have been struggling with recently. 

3. She is candid  about her challenges as a mompreneur. The author started her company with a 6 week old child. Why? Because that’s when an opportunity for a first client fell into her lap- so she seized the opportunity- and I think that is a great point- the best opportunities don’t always come when we are ready- but we can become ready very fast when they do come- often when we have the least amount of time. 

Who is this book for?

People who need someone to tell motivate them to achieve their potential. It’s like those of us who know we should eat healthy but need someone to write out the menu. Or want to work out but need a trainer to get us to the gym. Laura knows how to say things in a way that gets rid of the excuses and helps the reader get things done. 

Book #4

The Wealth Creator’s playbook- a guide to maximizing your return on  life and money by John Christianson. 

This is not a beginner investment book- and it speaks to a very specific demographic if we are being honest. People who have money and consider themselves wealth creators. So just go in knowing that. 

Here’s what I liked about it:

1. The author is not afraid to be honest about who his audience is and therefore comes across as uniquely authentic- he isn’t talking down- he is talking with a very specific segment of the population who don’t want to simply settle for being wealthy- but are looking for a more fulfilling life regardless of their bank account. 

2. It’s kind a of now what for people that have acquired a certain degree of financial success.. and really calls onus to evaluate why we spend such a high percentage of our time and effort focusing on the accumulation of wealth, and how our identity changes once we have it. 

3. While it is, as they say, a first world problem, the Wealth Creators Playbook does address the challenges that come with wealth including the isolation, relationship challenges, spiritual aspects of dealing with money. 

Who is this book for?

The book is clearly aimed at those who have accumulated money but are looking for guidance in dealing with the changes it has brought on- including assessing their values, how they deal with their kids and money, and the best way to be generous with their wealth. 

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Sara Bliss’ Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Take The Leap

• Lindsey Pollak’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of The Remix

• Laura Gassner Otting’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Limitless

• John Christianson’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of The Wealth Creator’s Playbook

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Learn how to use cash in a crunch with Jason Hanson. His new book “Agent of Influence. How to use Spy Skills to Persuade Anyone, Sell Anything, and Build a Successful Business. 

In Jason's money story you will learn:

“There is no difference than a spy recruiting an asset to a business person trying to get a client or a customer and make a sale. The only difference is the risk involved.”

I was incredibly blessed to work for the agency from 2003 to 2010, and you learn that you always have cash on you. On one occasion, I had to bribe the police in a foreign country, and having good, hard American cash on you. Many of my associates have had to bribe the police, so that's important, gets you out of trouble, but also, you pay cash for everything. You don't want to leave paper trails that you may have been in a country, and plus, when you're trying to recruit an asset, paying cash looks good, meaning you always pick up the tab, and then they feel indebted to you, and it helps the recruiting process. So, I'm a fan of cold, hard cash, and I'm always amazed at people these days who never carry cash on them, even for emergencies.

Bobbi Rebell: Okay, but first of all, there are places that no longer take cash, just saying, and we're not all spies, Jason. So, for the skeptics out there who say, "Well, we're going to a digital world," so much interest in things like bitcoin, what do you say to them? Do you think cash will last forever, and how else does this tie in to financial success?

Jason Hanson: Well, absolutely, it will last forever. I mean, I'm not saying you have to spend it, meaning, I always have at least $300 in cash in my pocket, and it has gotten me out of some jams in life. So, you can use your American Express or whatever credit card 99% of the time, but if you ever get stranded or you're in a jam, you should always have it on you. Plus, I have it in my house, and I have a fireproof safe where I have at least one month's worth of cash in $20 bills in case my family has some kind of financial emergency.

Bobbi Rebell: Share with us a story, if you can elaborate more on one of these instances, because most of us, as I said, will not be spies and will not be bribing foreigners to get out of jams. Tell us more about one of those situations.

Jason Hanson: The story is, something goes wrong, and the police are now around you. I can't elaborate beyond that, but I can tell you how to bribe them. The magic words you say is if, for some reason, again, something goes wrong, an operation or whatever, and the police are around you. You play the dumb American, and you say very innocently, "Oh my gosh, Officer. I'm so sorry. I bet there was some kind of fine to pay. How do I pay that fine?" If they're corrupt, they're going to say, "Well, that fine is $100, $50, and you pay me now," which is what happened in my case. If they're not corrupt, they may say, "Well, there's a fine you pay at the courthouse." That's the beauty of it. You're not coming off as in you're whipping out a wad of cash saying, "Hey, buddy, take this." You're playing the stupid American of, "How do I pay that fine?"

The second story, my father and I love to go hiking together. About once a year, we try and do some big hike. I live near Zion and Bryce National Park, and I'm a huge fan of the outdoors. So, my dad set up this hike, and he was the one who planned it. I just show up with all my gear. Well, long story short is, the hike was not very well laid out and didn't have good signage. So, we ended up about seven miles from where we were supposed to end up to get our car to go home. It was very late at night. We had been hiking for a few days, and we were exhausted. So, my old man is not in the best of shape, so I left him on the side of the road and said, "I'm going to take off now, hiking this seven miles."

Well, what I should've told you earlier, as we were leaving for this hike, I pulled out my cash as usual and put it in my backpack. My dad made fun of me and said, "What do you think you're going to see? McDonald's in the middle of nowhere? Why are you taking this cash? Just leave it in the car," but I took my cash. Well, I'm hiking, exhausted, this seven miles on this middle of nowhere dirt road where I was sure I was never going to see anybody.

After a few miles, this truck comes rolling along. I wave him, flag him down, explain to him what happened and said, "Hey, you mind giving me a ride back to my car?" The guy kind of hems and haws and says, "Well, you know, it's a long drive back. That's several miles." I'm like, "No kidding, buddy. I'm the one on foot here." I pulled out $20. I said, "Well, what if I give you $20 to drive me the four miles back? Will you do it?" He said, "Yeah, sure, for $20, I'll absolutely do it." So, I pulled out $20, gave it to him. He took me back to my car, and I was able to get back to my dad a heck of a lot quicker than had I not had that cash on me. So, you just never know when you're going to need that money.

Bobbi Rebell: Cash is king, at the end of the day. I mean, it's easier. You couldn't really transfer a bitcoin to him.

Jason Hanson: Right. Again, I was in the middle of nowhere in a national park, thinking I was going to see nobody, and yeah. This guy wasn't going to take anything, but a good old American $20 bill.

In Jason’s money lesson you will learn:

“If I’m trying to close a deal I will research that person, their likes, their dislikes, their family, you know what they hate. So I will go in knowing everything. That way I have a very high likelihood of closing that customer.”

Jason Hanson: Well, as I said, I always like at least $300. I want at least $100 bill out of that. Have the rest in 20s, but have a $100 bill because in a serious jam, if you shove a $100 bill in somebody's face and say, "Take me to this location," or, "Let me out the back of your restaurant," I don't care who you are. If you got a $100 bill under your nose, you're going to take it, which is why it almost always works.

Bobbi Rebell: For the average person, that's a lot of cash. It's been okay so far, so people might be a little surprised to hear that much and to carry a $100 bill. A lot of places won't even take $100 bills.

Jason Hanson: I totally get that's a lot of cash. That's why I'm saying, you don't have to use it. You may have that same $300 in your wallet or purse for the next 10 years, but I'm a firm believer in insurance. It's the old cliché of, hey, if your house burns down, you're sure glad you have that insurance. If you get in a car accident, you're sure glad you have that insurance, even though you may never need it. Well, same thing. $300 doesn't take up much space. You may never, ever need it, but if you do trust me, you'll be glad you have it.

One time, we needed to get into a parking lot to get access to a car, and there was a guy there working, probably didn't make a whole lot of money, couple bucks an hour. It was a restricted area. We just walked up to him. We said, "Hey, we just need to check something out." You always have some legitimate cover story. "I realize this is restricted, but I promise we'll be back in 10 minutes, and here's $100 worth your time." Now, that's a week's worth of pay. That's a month's worth of pay, depending on where you are and what country, so the guy accepted it, and it worked, and we got in and took care of what we needed to take care of.

In Jason's everyday money tip you will learn:

“You’ve got to be always willing to learn from others. You’ve always got to be teachable.”

Checklists are everything. In the intelligence world, you prepare and you extremely prepare for every situation. You have checklists to make sure you have the right gear, you have spare batteries, you have your flashlight, you have your knife, whatever it may be. So now in the business world, I do the same thing. Whenever I am meeting with a client or I'm working with a client, I go through all the checklist. Did I ask him this question? Did I send him this report? Did I do this, this, and this? So, I run multiple businesses. If I didn't remember my checklists, I would forget things. It's the same thing as my money tip. I have all my expenses. Did I pay this? Did I save this 10% this month? Did I do X, Y, and Z? So, I'm a big believer in making life idiot-proof. That way, I can pull out a checklist and say, "Okay, yes, the $20,000 went here this month," or whatever amount it may be. That way, nothing falls through the cracks.

My Financial Grownup tips:

Financial grownup tip number one:

Jason's cash is for emergencies. So if you do choose to carry cash, like $300, including a $100 bill as he recommends, that is not your spending money. Personally, unless you're going to carry a little notebook and jot down how you spend cash, in terms of your everyday spending money, I prefer to pay for things digitally so there is a record, and you can see very easily the different categories where your money is going. The downside is that we do tend to spend more when we don't see the cash leaving our wallet, and of course, it's harder to set limits. So, it's something to balance what's most important to you. But for me, especially with my family of five, I like having the older kids on debit and credit cards so we can see the broader picture of where our family's money is going, but do what works for you.

Financial grownup tip number two:

Jason talks a lot about checklists. These can be done, literally, on a piece of paper, in notebooks, a pad of paper. I tend to sometimes do this with a pen and pencil, paper, whatever, before I go to sleep. Whatever is around, I just grab it. There is something about physically writing it down that makes me feel calmer at night and more motivated in the morning, but there is also a value in using apps, especially when you don't get something done. It can already go forward to continue until you get it done, basically. Also, it can have short-term, long-term, dates. There's so much functionality in these apps. I happen to use Evernote, but there are also a lot of checklist apps. I'm going to give you some examples, but really, there are probably thousands out there. Some examples include Todoist, which a lot of my friends use and enjoy. TickTick is also popular. It includes a Pomodoro timer, so that is a productivity strategy that allows you to work and set 25 minute increments. I would love more suggestions because this is not a strong area for me. So, please screen grab this episode and add your picks for the best checklist or productivity apps, and post it and make sure to tag me so I can thank you, and then, if it's okay with you, share your suggestions with the community.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Jason's website - www.SpyEscapeAndEvasion.com

Another of Jason’s website - www.CelebrityMethod.com

Jason's book Agent of Influence

Follow Jason!

• Facebook - @SpyEscape https://www.facebook.com/SpyEscape/

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Sara Bliss liked her career writing for prestigious magazines, but she loved being able to pay her bills and have the financial freedom she deserved for her hard work, even more. So she decided to write for clients who had the budgets to pay her more, and has never looked back. She also shares tips on how to level-up careers from her bestselling book "Take The Leap".

In Sara's money story you will learn:

“I hustled a lot and wrote for everyone, and when you need to make money that is actually a great career motivator.”

I started in the art world, and I realized, pretty quickly, it just wasn't for me. I felt like we were moving art from one Park Avenue apartment to another, and I just wasn't super psyched about how much art sold for, which is what you have to be focused on if you're in that world.

I was writing all the time, on the side, so I took a writing for magazines class at NYU at night. Then, I ended up getting hired at House Beautiful, as an assistant, and then, that led to a whole magazine writing career. A few years later, I started freelancing, and I wrote a couple books, and that really took off.

Bobbi Rebell - Let's go back and talk about the money situation. So, first of all, the money, when you're working in the art business, how does the money work there? What would be your path, at that point, as a desk assistant, working at the front of an auction house, doing all these other tasks? What was that picture like, and then, what was it like transitioning to being a writer, from a financial standpoint?

Well, the job at Christie's actually paid hourly, with no benefits. It was ridiculous. It was basically designed for people who have wealthy parents. I needed to make money, but then, I chose another career, where you don't make a ton of money, starting out, which was in magazines. But, I was salaried, and I had benefits, and I made a little bit more than I did at Christie's, so that was exciting.

Bobbi Rebell - Was that first job your dream job?

It wasn't. It was my dream job to be in magazines, but it wasn't to be writing about design. I wanted to be in women's magazines, but you get pigeonholed really early, even if you want to change your career. If you don't have stuff on your resume, that directly correlates to what you want to do, people just can't see it, even at a super young age, I think.

So, for me, that writing for magazines job, was kind of crucial to getting me there, but the stuff that I was writing and publishing, in small local papers, was about art and design, because I had that experience, so it made sense. So, even from my first job, I always wanted to leap, and keep leaping, so I've always had that mentality.

Bobbi Rebell - Let's talk about that. You were constantly trading up jobs and assignments. How did you get to a level where, financially, it was sustainable to be a writer?

I went freelance way sooner than I should have, in all honesty, because I got married, and my husband was in business school in Boston. We had plan to leave New York for a couple years, and I saw, from being on the editorial side, that actually, the freelancers did pretty well. At that time, a feature story for a magazine, averaged around $2,000. Then, I got a book assignment pretty early on. So, you can make a living. It wasn't a huge amount of money. It was definitely under six figures, but I hustled a lot, and wrote for everyone, and when you need to make money, that's actually a great career motivator.

I did well at my career, because I needed to make an income. It wasn't just like a fun, hobby job for me, it was a serious career, but then, in 2008, the financial crisis really ended up affecting my industry. That, combined with the advent of the internet, has really killed magazines, and also has really devalued my work as a writer.

Bobbi Rebell - So now, how have you adjusted and pivoted, to maintain financial viability?

The key for me, was I realized early on, that ... or pretty quickly into this, that a lot of the brands I wrote about, they started wanting branded content. They wanted to create their own in-house magazines, or their own online blogs. They wanted copy that sounded really enticing and cool, and the way it would in a magazine, if a editorial writer was writing about it. So, I jumped onboard with that bandwagon, and I've worked for some amazing clients. I've worked for Bobbi Brown and Estee Lauder, and Erin, and Rosebud Hotels. I've done all that, and it's wonderful, because the brands pay a lot better than editorial now.

Editorial now, if you're writing on the internet, you can get, sometimes, your pay based on your traffic, which is ridiculous. Sometimes, you're paid based on assignment, and that's anywhere from 50-$250 for an editorial online assignment. It pays a little better if you write for the magazines, but those assignments are less and less and less. So, branding has been the key, for me, to financial viability, in this career.

In Sara’s money lesson you will learn:

“I did well at my career because I needed to make an income.”

I think the lesson is, you really need to see the direction your industry is going. I really saw, pretty quickly, that magazines were shrinking, and that opportunities were less and less. I can pretty much write for any editorial outlet, but if I want to have a career, and be financially successful, I had to really lessen the editorial side, and up the branding side. I'm actually okay with that. I love the branding work that I do. I'm very happy that I can make money from it, and that I can add value. It allows me, to then, take on projects that I really love, and think need to be out in the world, like Take the Leap.

In Sara's everyday money tip you will learn:

“70% of the people in my book are making more money at their new careers than they were at their previous careers.”

I am a bit of a cheapskate. I hate spending money on things that don't matter. When we go out to lunch or breakfast, or a bite with our kids, we always have the kids order water. I hate it when they want to order like mango smoothies, that cost like $10 each, and all that adds up. And the-

Bobbi Rebell - Yeah. They're not necessarily ... Mango smoothies are not really bad for you, but they are sugary. Water is better, I would argue.

Yeah. It's like soda and apple juice, and of all, it's just so expensive and silly. The next step that we're supposed to do, that I read about in a magazine, was to put that money, that you would save on the drinks, into a savings account for your kids, and then they can see the benefit of making those kind of small choices, and how quickly they add up.

Bobbi - I like that. You're taking it to the next level, so they're making the commitment.

In My Take you will learn:

Financial Grownup Tip Number One - I'm going to reveal something, that I don't actually talk about directly on this show, but I think you guys should really understand how money works, in a lot of somewhat creative industries. I did what Sara did, only for on-camera work. I looked at the time involved, and the pay tied to working in editorial content, on-camera work for a corporation, and I made a career pivot, to doing more working in partnerships with brands.

Not only does it pay more, I truly love the work. So, think about what you do now, and if there is a different kind of employer, or a different kind of client, that will have the financial resources to pay you more, for the work that you already love to do.

Financial Grownup Tip Number Two - I want to add to what Sara said about learning a new craft, and being real about what it takes. For example, when I decided to talk more about personal finances, as opposed to the stock market and economic news that I covered as a journalist, before writing my book, I decided to become a Certified Financial Planner. It was so challenging, guys. Tears of exhaustion and frustration, were involved on a regular basis, but I did it, so I could make a career transition, with the street cred that I wanted.

I encourage and support all of you to do the same in your ventures. Sara's mantra is, "Begin anyhow." You are ready now. This is the time to take control. Please be in touch. Let me know what you are doing to level up your career, and the money you earn.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Sara’s website - www.SaraBliss.com

Sara’s Book Take the Leap

Barbara Corcoran’s Financial Grownup episode

Christina Alger’s Financial Grownup episode

Follow Sara!

• Instagram - @SaraBlissNYC

• Twitter - @SaraBlissNYC

• LinkedIn

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Limitless author Laura Gassner Otting wanted out of her business, and she wanted to get what she was worth.

But because she only wanted to sell to a certain buyer, she had to be creative in how she priced the enterprise to get what she really wanted.

The exit strategy

Laura: I ran the firm the entire 15 years, not for maximum profitability, I needed to make enough money, right? How do you pay your mortgage as table stakes for everybody and there's something between the need to make number, the how do you pay your bills, and the want to make number which is the do you drive a Hyundai or do you drive a Maserati? Do you stay in the Holiday Inn or the Four Seasons? There's a lot of space in between those two numbers, so I ran it for enough money, not maximum profitability, but for maximum legacy, for maximum flexibility, for maximum impact

“ I wanted to change the world, I wanted to make it a better place but I also wanted to be present for my family and community activity and other things that I was doing, that was how I ran the company. ”

And when it came time to sell the company, we had the company valued by an external source, and then the hard negotiation started which is when I got kind of stuck because my self worth became dictated by the number in that valuation document and whether or not the people who helped me build the company thought it was actually worth it and that I should get to leave with that pot of money.

Or maybe they could shut the entire thing down and start it again without me and be just fine, right?

It's very difficult to sell a professional services firm when the leader leaves because there's this question of is the value of the firm with the leader? Is the Rolodex with the leader? Was the firm synonymous with me? And I felt very confident that in fact it wasn't and that they'd be just fine without me. They were not so sure and they were confident in their work and they were confident in their reach but you just never know and that's a pretty big bag to be left holding if all of a sudden I walk out the door and the clients follow me, even though I wasn't still doing the same kind of work.

“ I spent a lot of time with my ego in a bunch thinking about I’m worth this money”

That's what the outside advisor says and we should do it and then my husband turned to me one day and he said, 'You never ran it for maximum profitability. You ran it to make an impact in the world, to have flexibility in your personal life, to create an institution rather than a cathedral,' and he helped me understand that that was the difference between the need and the want. That everything I've ever created as a serial entrepreneur has still existed to this day, 25 years later, and I'm really proud of that. That money was only one meaningful way to look at value and he really helped me understand that I could sell it for enough money, which would give me the kind of life I wanted to build and the kind of legacy I wanted to leave. P.S. the firm has done so well and probably, in small part because I didn't handicap it with this giant financial burden, that they've actually done better than the projections would have said.

So I ended up selling the firm to them for $1, selling the firm outright, $1, 100 percent of the shares and a percentage of revenue for the following five years which was as far as we've all agreed, I can put my fingertips on any possible success. And that percentage of revenue will in fact, it's on pace four years into the five years, to outpace the number that the valuation gave.

I think the lesson for this is to really think about how you think about value and are you thinking about money

But here's the thing, I bet on them for the previous 15 years because I employed them and partnered with them to serve clients on my behalf with my name on the door. So I'd already been betting on them. It was a pretty safe bet.

And you also gave them a big boost by not saddling them with the cost of buying you out in advance because they didn't have to either pull money out of the resources of the current company or be hampered by debt payments.

And I took a risk on them, they took a risk on me, we were very clear in the writing up of the exit strategy that if I'm out there and I'm bad mouth or if I'm supporting other search firms or I'm doing things that will get in the way of their success, then the agreement is null and void. But I think a lot of this worked because we had invested in each other in the previous 15 years. We had gotten to know each other, we believed in each other and we defined success in the same way. Not as maximizing payment at every single moment but in terms of maximizing impact.

Laura’s Money tip

I think we spend a lot of times when big things happen in the world, sending teddy bears. We send thousands of teddy bears every time there's a natural disaster and the truth is that most of those teddy bears get incinerated. And the money that we could be spending to ship and store and distribute and yet incinerate those teddy bears, we could actually be spending on other things like long term change. And I think that we can apply that to our own lives. We all go to parties, we all go to events, we all have things happen in our lives and we bring along gifts and a lot of times those gifts are just stuff. So I want us to be more thoughtful about the money that we're spending on all of these gifts, that for the most part just make us feel better. Either our egos or our grandmother looking over our shoulder telling us that we have to be polite and not show up empty handed and think about what really would matter to the person who you are in service of.

And be smarter about our money that way.

Bobbi: Can you give me a personal example? Of a gift you've bought for somebody that you really think was on target?

Laura: Oh boy. A lot of those times they tend to be experiences, spending money on doing things together rather than just giving them another thing. It will be spending money on tickets to an event that I know a star that somebody loves and bringing them along with me and sharing time with them personally. I think time is so much more valuable to other people, that's my love language, is spending time with people and really connecting and being present with them. So I think doing things where we can spend experiences together rather than just spending money together, is a great way to spend money smarter.

About Laura’s book Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path and Live Your Best Life

Laura: When people try to ask me how do you find your passion? People always say, 'You should do work that matters and you'll never have to work a day in your life,' and I actually love work. I know you love your work, any of your listeners know that you love what you do because you can hear it in your voice and you have passion for it and so how do you find your passion? You think about the things that you spend your attention on. So what are the things that you do that nobody pays you to do? What are the things that you do outside of work? Or what are the things that you do at work that are not actually specifically in your job description? That's really where you like to spend your time and the more time that you spend leaning into the person that you are in those times, that's really how you get to do work that you love.


Bobbi: Another theme that is in the book that really resonated is you talk about the metrics we use to measure ourselves and using the wrong scorecard.

Laura: At some point in high school or in college, we were told to pick a major, pick a trade, pick a path and we were handed a list of metrics of success by which we should value that path. And those metrics were things like the brand procedure of the company or the flexibility or the benefits or how many skills we will acquire or yes of course, money, there's a bunch of them that I talk about in the book and they're all given the same weight. And we're told if you make a big salary, if you marry the right person, if you live in the right house, if you drive the right car, you'll be quote unquote successful. And yet, we're all so busy chasing that and running on this treadmill and spending more money in order to do those things, spending money on things we don't love to impress people we don't like, that's not a place where we should be spending our time because what that does is it's forcing us to define success as it's given to us by everybody else around us.


And it's not until we figure out what success really means for us, that we actually will be happy when we find the success. So if you take the metric of money, you might be somebody who likes to go on beautiful cosmopolitan vacations and have breakfast in bed at the Four Seasons Hotel, right? That's going to cost a lot of money but not a lot of time. You might be somebody who likes to go camping and go out into the wilderness and wake up in the morning over a sunrise beautiful lake and make your breakfast on the camp fire. That's not going to cost you a lot of money but it's going to cost you a lot of time. So if you're taking this external definition and just saying, 'I have to keep going and have to keep getting more salary and more salary and more salary,' without thinking about what the money means to you, then all that quote unquote success is going to be meaningless unless it comes with the thing that you want, which actually might be more vacation time instead.

Bobbi’s Financial Grownup tips:

1. Saying goodbye should not be part of your exit strategy.

Exit gracefully, no take this job and shove it, obviously, but then work proactively, have a strategy to stay in touch and be remembered. And still be maybe part of the social network. Stay connected to colleagues from all stages of your life, that could even include school and, of course, jobs, conferences and so on. It's easier said than done but try as much as you can. First of all, it's obviously just nice, odds are you enjoy their company but it's also smart business. That former colleague you connect with once a year, may think of you for an interesting opportunity. So try to stay top of mine. This could even include being strategically active on social media.

2. Don’t send stuff just because

If you want to send something, if something tough has happened to somebody, maybe they lost a loved one, maybe they've suffered in some way, reconsider sending stuff just to send stuff and be aware that sometimes in this age where we don't want to have too much stuff, when you do send stuff, the recipients may feel obligated to keep it. So if you do want to send a thing, not everyone has time or wants to send experiences, maybe consider things that are splurge items that will be used up.

For example, a gift card. A gift card for a nice restaurant so that they can have a break from cooking or a credit to a babysitting agency for a guilt free night out. Or maybe they had a home damaged say by a flood or some natural disaster or something like that, maybe a gift card to a home goods retailer could be truly helpful. Something that they may not want to treat themselves to or they may be stretched to afford that alleviates a financial burden, that might be enjoyed and, of course, in many cases, guilt free because it came from you. Those kind of things can be really helpful.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - Summarizes books to just 15 minutes. In fact you can even listen to one minute chunks at a time. They are called these blinks. Try it out for FREE here.

Laura's website - www.LauraGassnerOtting.com

Laura’s book Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path and Live Your Best Life

Take Laura’s assessment quiz!

Follow Laura!

Instagram - @heylgo

Facebook - @heylgo

Twitter - @heylgo

LinkedIn - @heylgo

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Being a grownup is hard, but being a parent to emerging financial grownups may be even harder. Author John Christianson talks with Bobbi about the challenges of raising financial grownups - when it’s easier for the parents to support them. 

In John's money story you will learn:

Yeah. Well, we've been successful at launching three kids, which we feel very proud of. But, along the way, we made tons of mistakes, and one of those was, we just had a difficult time saying no. Whether it was providing an allowance for the kids, and then they'd run through that allowance, and we'd somehow refill it. But, our story, really, is around providing a car for our kids. We needed the kids to get from our home, to their school, which was a private school about 20 minutes away, 25 minutes away, and they were all ... The kids were in sports.

So, at this point, we didn't have time to have the kids earn enough money to get a car. That would've been nice, but we didn't have that kind of luxury.

The car was really for you, so you, and your wife, and any caregivers in the mix, didn't have to be doing the driving.

Yeah. We were exhausted taking the kids around. We felt like a shuttle bus, taking them to all their events, and all their stuff. So, we needed that for them, and not only did we provide the gas, we provided the insurance and all that. So, it was kind of, yes, to take care of us, and in the process, at one particular day, I remember that we got the call from our son and he said, "Hey, dad. There's a red light on, on the dash." I said, "Well, what's the red light?" It's the engine that's ... That red thing on the engine is blinking, and the car won't start.

Come to find out, they'd run the car to the point where there was no oil. It had frozen up the engine. So, here I am, putting a new engine in the car, that was to help them kind of commute back and forth to school. It was just kind of this constant need for us to keep things moving, and we just didn't do a great job of saying, no, that there's consequences to that decision that you made not to look at the light, when you needed to refill oil in the car. It really came down to our own comfort as parents, and while we talked about, hey, that wasn't a really smart decision, and hey, that engine's going to cost a whole bunch of money to replace and to fix, and it would've great if we would've had more conversation about that before this point. Ultimately, at the end of the day, we put another engine in that car.

There was multiple cars after that, that led to us continuing just to feel like there was this flow of capital out the door, to kind of support what we need our kids to be able to do. So, yeah, I don't feel great about that. I feel like that's the one place in our life that I wish we would've said sooner, no, we're not going to do that. But, we didn't. In a lot of cases we just looked at what would be best for us.

What kind of discussions were you having at the time? Or, would you have liked to have had, I guess? It sounds like you weren't having discussions.

We were having discussions, but they weren't those. We were at least open about the fact, this is really costing mom and I a lot of money. I do remember saying that. This is expensive. At the same time, we were also, though, talking about what we valued as a family, and things that we were seeing in our kids. Which, they were committing to ... Our oldest son was committing to a sport that he loved. Our middle son was working, so we were trying to commit, help support him in that. So, we felt like we were talking about things like generosity, and talking about the opportunities that our kids were able to get that we weren't getting, or didn't get as kids, ourselves, my wife and I. So, we did have lots of conversations about those kinds of things.

So, I feel like there was some success in the types of things we talked about, in the experiences our kids got to have, that ultimately shaped who they became. For example, our daughter was going on mission trips, and helping building homes in Mexico. Our son got to go to Uganda, and do some service work there. Our oldest son, who was playing baseball, got to go to Puerto Rico, and serve some needy people in that area, on a baseball trip. Ultimately, at the end of the day, while I feel like we made some mistakes in providing too much, in some cases, and not having consequence for the cash outflows, I also think those things that the kids got to do, and what they were experiencing, shaped who they became today.

“I want to maximize return on life”

In John's money lesson you will learn:

I think it starts with opening up investment accounts for kids, and getting them ... And, that probably a seed capital from parents. That's money that you've got to put in there, and help them kind of get a sense of how that works, and help them understand what investing does, and the power of that, and the compounding of that, and how that can provide freedoms and choices in their life. It wasn't that we weren't talking about that. We kind of thought that the kids would be able to accumulate enough money, in savings, in allowance, that they would do that on their own, in our home. That just didn't occur.

So, I think that would be a place to start, would be seed some investment account for them. A small amount, or some amount that you can talk to them about. What companies are you interested in? Buy a few shares of a few stocks. I see successful parents talking about that.

The other thing I see parents do, that we did, and I have to say we did it differently than this, but is saying, "Here's what we value as a family. Here's what our family is about, and why we spend money on the things we spend money on." And, articulating that to kids. It's not so much about the dollar amount we're spending. It's almost irrelevant. It's, we're spending money on these things, because we care so much about them, and talking openly about that.

I think we gave our kids that gift of being able to ... Almost, like an entrepreneur, you can go do whatever you want to do, and they watched their mother and I go do that. All those things are messages. I think it's important to think about, if I ... Summing that up, I would say, what are the messages you're sending to your kids? Sometimes, that financial literacy is a great head knowledge, but is there a message in that you want to deliver to them? The message for us was, you can go be whoever you want to be, and we're going to give you the tools, and prepare you for that. Then, we're going to launch you, and we're going to let you go to figure out what that is.

"People that were gaining wealth weren’t necessarily any happier. In fact sometimes it was more complicated"

In John's everyday money tip you will learn:

Move towards something that is in the direction of risk. What I've found is, you don't have to get all the way there. It'd be great if you could, but just take one step towards that. Because, life will pass you by. I just see lots of people who have money, interestingly enough, and can do anything they want to do, don't do that. And, I see people that don't have money, the same. We're somehow wired to stay in whatever our comfort zone is, our cocoon. We're kind of wired to stay there, and it takes effort to take that step. I would just encourage people to take that step.

That's part of what I wrote in my book, which is, I want to maximize my return on life.

One thing that our listeners ask us a lot is, how do you know when you need to switch from the DIY approach to money management, maybe using a robo adviser, to really working with an investment pro? Then, how do we even begin to find one? That's something that you do cover in the book.

Yes, I do. Yeah, it's ... What I've found, is that you get to a point where you start to realize that, both, the assets are going up enough that you don't have the time, the inclination, or the knowledge, anymore, to do it. You're definitely smart enough. I don't think it's a function of how smart you are. It's just, I'm not giving it the attention it needs, even though I have my best intentions to rebalance my account, or to look at a new investment. Or, whatever that is, I just am not getting around to it.

I think there's a point there for everybody, where they have to be honest with themselves, and just say, look, I need some help. It isn't a sign of weakness. It's, I need help, and I'm going to put my time and energy where it's best suited, and maybe that's wealth creating, and I'm going to bring some people around me to help me manage and do some of the things that, either, I don't have the time for, or I just am not enjoying.

How do you identify that person? Especially, another theme you talk about in the book, is the issue of trust.

There's lots of people out there, but I do think it's something that I encourage people to take time. Take time interviewing a variety of people. Make sure there's a connection, both in character, but in capability, and in experience. Because, that trusted adviser role is critical.

There is a difference, I should say, another theme in your book that I just want to bring up quickly, between wealth creation versus money management. It's not the same thing.

It's not the same thing. People confuse that all the time, because they'll create wealth through a business, or a concentrated position in a company, or an IPO, or a whatever, and then all of a sudden they'll get a portfolio of investments, and go, "I want the same returns as that." That's just almost silliness.

It takes a little bit of conversation with people, to go, no, that's the point of money management. The point of money management is to grow that, and diversify it, and protect it, so it's there to fulfill the things you want in your life.

“We just didn’t do a great job of saying “no”, and that there is consequences to that decision that you made” 

In My Take you will learn:

Financial grownup tip number one. Everyone matures financially, at different times, and it's usually okay. John had mixed feelings about supporting his kids, but the truth is, they had the right values. They were doing all the things that they should be. And, yes, they should've been more responsible with things like the car maintenance. But, they are all, now, fully functioning financial grownups. Sometimes, it just takes a little more time, and that's okay.

Financial grownup tip number two. There is proof that when parents give their children money, especially college graduates, to support them and give them a little boost as their starting out in life, these kids do go onto have greater professional success, according to research in a report by Anna Manzoni, Associate Professor of Sociology at North Carolina State University. In other words, giving kids a financial boost, again, assuming you can afford it, is in fact, a great way to put them on a path to success. So, while by no means should you put your own financial future, for example, your retirement, in jeopardy, if you can afford to help your kids while they are doing all the things that they're supposed to be doing, earning money, saving appropriately, and so on, it's a good thing. Life is hard enough.

John's kids have the values that he instilled in them, and when they needed to be financially independent, they were able to.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

www.HighlandPrivate.com

www.JCChristianson.com

John’s book The Wealth Creator’s Playbook

John’s Podcast The Wealth Confidant

Follow John!

• Instagram - @jcchristianson

• Facebook - @jcchristianson

• Twitter - @jcchristianson

• LinkedIn

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Part of being a grownup is learning to be thankful for what we have, and to give back. It all comes down to simple acts of kindness. We speak with, Natalie Silverstein,  the author of Simple Acts. The Busy Family’s Guide to Giving Back who shares specific ways even the busiest of grownups can give back to the community in ways that make all of our lives richer. 

4 Kindness Tips for Financial Grownups

• Ask what is needed- actually talk to the organization

  • If you want to help in your community, think about the things that you can do. If you’d like to help a particular organization, reach out to them to see exactly what it is that they could use help with.

• Use your skills

  • You don’t necessarily have to have a special skill to be able to help. It can even be as simple as helping an elderly person to learn how to use a computer, a phone, or write an email.

• Make it social

  • Doing a service project with friends or family can make things more fun for everyone. This also is a great time to bring your young children in to help. Children love to help!

• Tell other people and invite them to get involved

  • If you share with others about how they can do good things, they are often times very excited to learn more and to become involved themselves. Sometimes others just simply don’t know where or how they can help.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Natalie’s traditional Financial Grownup episode

www.DoingGoodTogether.org

www.SimpleActsGuide.com

Natalie’s book Simple Acts

Follow Natalie!

• Instagram - @simpleacts_guide

• Twitter - @simpleactsguide

• Facebook - @simpleacts_guide

  
  

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Linda Davis Taylor looked like she had it all, but wanted to make more money. An unexpected meeting with the man who became her mentor took her out of her comfort zone, and into a role that would catapult her into a field where she made her mark, and inspired others to follow in her footsteps.

In Linda's money story you will learn:

We are actually the first investment advisory firm that was founded in the country, believe it or not, in 1915. Company's roots go back in this community over 100 years which makes it so much fun to work now with families who are in their fourth generation. We can see the 90 year olds, the 60 year olds, the 40 year olds and the 10 year olds in one meeting and it's just really rewarding to be in such a great community.

And community is really important. In fact a member of your community at the college you were working at 25 years ago is the focus of the money story that you are going to tell us, and it started with an appointment that was really you thought about his future, but it turned out to be about your future. Tell us your money story, Linda.

That's exactly right. This great gentleman who I knew a little bit then who became a lifelong mentor. I'll tell you more later, came into my office I thought to talk about the fact that he was retiring from his firm, and he looked me in the eye and he said, "I'm here because I want to change your trajectory and I want you to come and take over the leadership role in my firm," which was an investment firm which now is Clifford Swan.

Wow, and what were you doing? Explain more about what you were doing at the time and what your mindset was, because you weren't looking to make a change.

No. In fact I said to him, "Mr. Swan, I barely know the difference between a stock and the bond. How would I ever become a leader in the investment firm?"

I was in the higher ed environment, I'd been there for 25 years. I was a college admissions dean, I worked with all kinds of young kids going to college then I moved into philanthropy. I was working at this awesome women's college, where his wife was a graduate, and I was talking to women about philanthropy, which of course is connected with money, but in no way did I have the aspiration to think that I could make a switch from education to finance, and that's what he came in my office to talk to me about.

Was it a question of self-doubt, imposter syndrome? Talk about the gears in your mind at that point? What were you thinking?

I was in a field that I thought was predictable and appropriate for me, but what I realized is that I really wanted to make more money, and he was the person who made me think, "That's great. That's not only okay, that's terrific, and it's great to have an aspiration about money if you're a woman."

How much of your feeling that you wanted to make more money were you holding back, you think, because you were a woman? Were you still tied to the often self-imposed rules that we put on ourselves?

I was the daughter of an entrepreneur, but I was told at that phase and that part of the country it's fine for you to be in education or maybe be a nurse, but you can't go into the family business because that's not what girls do.

Wow. Okay, so what clicked in your mind that you said, "You know what? Maybe I am going to do this."

I thought to myself, "If I don't go out of this office and follow this incredible opportunity ... This man has literally climbed into my office and said, 'How about do this?' If I don't do this now, I don't know if I'll have that opportunity again."

So I knew it was a leap that I needed to take and it was just the universe giving me what I needed to make me take that step.

All right, so what happened? You just quit and left and started ...? What was it like starting?

It was very challenging because I did not have on paper the skills to do that job, so I entered then the financial world, mostly men, they thought, "What is this woman from a college doing here?" So it took me a lot of determination but also his support to be able to make that successful transition.

Having that male mentor, this goes ... I mean, we talk about a lot the importance of men to get women and help women to achieve what they can achieve. But it's not just for women, men play a very important role in this, and the fact that he had the faith in you and pushed you to do what you were capable of I think is important to note.

Absolutely, and probably true in many fields. At the time, this was 20 years ago, it was absolutely true in the field of finance that without a male successful financial entrepreneur, I don't think it could've happened and someone as determined, as passionate as this particular man who became my champion in that transition.

What I now know is that 20 years later, I see myself as a financial mentor, particularly to young women, but he was that to me, every week. And he retired from the firm after six months and he was not there day-to-day, but every week for the next 20 years we had breakfast and what he was doing gradually, over time, is teaching me, teaching me not so much how to be a CEO, but teaching me what it really means to have competence and confidence about money and to be aspirational about it, and I realized that a mentoring is not about one or two meetings, but it's about long-term really being consistent and building in that kind of, again, competence and confidence.

He passed away about a year ago. I miss him every day, but when I think about him I think of this Mark Twain quote that's very simple, and it said, "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition, because small people always do that. The really great make you feel that you too can be great."

And I think we all need that. I think a lot of women need that. He did that for me, made me feel competent and confident about having those kind of aspirations, and my dreams and my ideas and my talents were really on target. I just needed to take it up and do it. So he became a lifelong mentor and now I think it's my turn to do that in whatever way I can.

“I was in a field that I thought was predictable and appropriate for me but what I realized was that I wanted to make more money”

In Linda’s money lesson you will learn:

Find a financial mentor. You just have to find one. I think it's still very, very hard, particularly for women, to understand what their own fears or lack of confidence or what they feel about money. The financial industry does not make it easy to understand it, and that financial mentor, not just a mentor in general but someone who we can really be honest with and can tell us things like Mr. Swan did, don't have a lot of debt. The moment you get out of debt is when you really start being financially secure. Things about being careful with your spending, all of these things over time, find a financial mentor.

“I knew it was a leap that I needed to take and it was just the universe giving me what I needed to make me take that step” 

In Linda's everyday money tip you will learn:

So my big one is, don't purchase any snacks on the go when you're thinking about those snacks, those extra drinks. It just adds unneeded calories frankly, and it wastes money, so no snacks on the go.

Very well said. Could you give some examples of the temptations that you pass up on? Was there anything that happened that changed your mind that you had an aha moment about this, or have you always been this way?

In the morning before your commute it's tempting to go buy coffee, tea or snack of your choice. When you're in an airport, walk on by, don't get that stuff and take it on the plane. When it's late at night in a hotel, stay out of the minibar, no potato chips, no chocolate chip cookies. Those are the things that tempt me and I just have to say, "No, I don't need it. It's going to be five extra dollars on my bill and 500 extra calories."

“Mentoring is not about one or two meetings. It is about long term really being consistent and building in .. competence and confidence.”

In My Take you will learn:

Here we go. Financial Grownup tip number one: Find mentors early and often. For Linda, she had one that made a huge difference. That doesn't always happen. For most of us it may be several in different stages of our careers and for different purposes.

When I wrote How to be a Financial Grownup, I went on what I now call my mentor-ter, asking successful people that I admire to just meet with me and talk about themselves. The information that I learned was life-changing and it became the foundation for my book and now this podcast.

Financial Grownup tip number two: Linda's everyday money tip is one of my favorites ever because so many of us, and yeah, I'm looking in the mirror, so many of us cave to those little treats especially when we are traveling. So here's one thing that I've learned to do that at least cuts off one major super unnecessary tip and that is, if you're traveling and you're buying food somewhere, you don't necessarily need to buy that bottle of water. If you're buying something else, it's a little weird if you go up if you're not buying anything else, but if you're already buying food, it's kind of okay to go up to the counter and say, "Oh, can I just get a cup with ice and water?"

Most of the time they're pretty happy to give it to you, and especially if you have a kid with you, forget it, they will definitely do it. So try it. You'll usually save five bucks on a bottle of water that is so unnecessary to pay for.

Episode Links:

• One of my favorite apps: Blinkist - Summarizes books to just 15 minutes. In fact you can even listen to one minute chunks at a time. They call these blinks. Try it out for FREE here.

• www.CliffordSwan.com

• Linda’s book The Business of Family: How to Stay Rich for Generations

• Check out Linda's website - www.LindaDavisTaylor.com

• Follow Linda!

  • LinkedIn

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Author and workplace strategist Lindsey Pollack shares a negotiation story with a big twist and a surprise ending. Plus how we often fail ourselves in negotiations by not using simple techniques when putting together deals, and how we can learn to up our game. 

In Lindsey's money story you will learn:

So my money story goes back to before I wrote all those books and had the lovely credentials that you shared. About 10 years ago, I was speaking on college campuses to students about getting jobs and I really wanted to elevate my business to the next level. And so I wanted to connect with a large brand that would help me raise my image and get into the corporate market.

And through a connection of a connection of a connection, I ended up having the opportunity to pitch a major social network. And my pitch to them was that I wanted to run a series of webinars to campus career centers to teach them how to use this social network and get their students to use it for their career success. You can probably guess which network it was.

And I had no platform. I had no reputation. I had nothing to offer. And so what I did -

Let me just ask you, how had you even been connected to them?

I was so set on a couple of different companies wanting to work with that I asked everyone that I knew, "Hey, do you know anyone at this company?" And it took one full year, Bobbi and finally, a friend of a friend worked out in Silicon Valley and said, "I know someone there, I'm willing to make an introduction." So I asked until I finally got a yes.

So you had already invested quite a bit of time and energy in this and a lot of tenacity. Okay. So now you get your moment, keep going.

Okay. So I got my moment and I wrote up a huge fancy proposal that I was really proud of and I thought, "How am I going to price this?" They don't know me. I did not want to do it for free. And so what I did, was I came up with two tiers. I came up with the tier that was a very, very low investment for this company to pay me to start this webinar and run it.

And then I came up with a really, really high number and said, "If I can train 5000 people in two months. If 5000 people signed up to take this webinar in two months, you'll pay me this number." And they agreed to it because they basically had nothing to lose because the first number was really small.

Well I mean you've transferred all of the risk. You're taking on all the risk if the project were to not go well. They basically don't have much at stake. The payment from them would be so small. But of course, you are getting huge reward if it goes well which of course I know it does. But keep going.

It went well. I did everything humanly possible to get 5000 people to sign up for those webinars. And I do want to give credit that I had a very warm introduction. So I think that network and connection really helped. But I worked like crazy to get those people to sign up. I made the number. And the best part of the story is that I continued to work with that company for six more years. So I think by proving myself at the beginning, I was able to start the relationship off right and it truly was a game-changer for my business.

In Lindsey’s money lesson you will learn:

I think there are two lessons. One is to be really clear on what you want and if you get the introduction you want or if you get the opportunity you want, how are you going to turn it into something big. I think a lot of people say they want success or they want to write a book or they want to get their script produced. But once you have the opportunity in front of you, what are you going to do to make sure that you get a yes. And I can't say I knew at the time that this would be such a lesson but it was so empowering to know that I was willing to put everything on the table and work tenaciously, as you said, to get it. So know what you want and really think about how you can get the other side to say yes. Even if it means that you have to put some risk on the table.

You also mentioned the term a warm introduction. Can you talk more about how that came about, how that comes about, how people can get that more, and the importance of the kind introduction that you get? The nuance there.

Absolutely. And Bobbi, you are such a good practitioner of this generously making introductions for people you know and trust. I think that it's really easy to connect with someone today, whether it's on a social network, whether it's sending an email, finding somebody's phone number. That's easy. What's harder is standing out from the crowd. And I think the way to do that is when you have a person, a human being, who knows and trusts you who always knows and is trusted by the person you want to meet.

So I don't think it was just me and my proposal that got that company to say yes. I think it was the fact that someone who they trusted and vouched for me was able to make that introduction. You know we live in a world of a lot of connections but that true trusted connection, I think is more valuable than ever. That to me is a warm connection.

In Lindsey's everyday money tip you will learn:

I am laughing that my money story is about how great of a negotiator I am because it took me so long to learn how to improve my negotiation skills and my best negotiation tip is silence.

So why? We let there be a moment of silence there so everyone could think about that.

Silence is really uncomfortable. And I'm so glad you let that moment linger because it shows how much anyone wants to desperately make that silence go away. And so what I used to do, when I first started out as a speaker or as an author, was say something like, "Bobbi, the price of my speech is $1000." And if there was a nanosecond of silence, I would say, "But if you only want to pay 750 that's okay." Because I was so uncomfortable with the silence.

So letting a number sit there. Asking somebody, even if you're on the phone with your mobile phone provider saying, "Is that the best you can do? Can you offer me a different rate?" We jump in too quickly and say, "Or not, that's okay. Forget it." Letting that silence linger is so hard and has been a huge challenge for me but it is my best money tip to not talk myself down or lose an opportunity to get a better price because I'm not willing to sit with silence.

Can you recall any time that was super effective using that technique? Can you give us an example?

Oh, everyday when I'm negotiating for my business. As I've gotten more successful as a speaker, I've raised my prices. And probably the hardest one to do is to raise a price on an existing valued client. But over time, it's really a necessity to grow your business.

I had to say to someone just the other day, "I've raised my prices by 15%. I know that we've always been at X number. The new number is this." And I so wanted to say, "But if you don't want to pay that's okay." Or, "I know that might be challenging." But I just said it, I let it sit there and the person said, "Okay."

In My Take you will learn:

Financial Grownup Tip number one: Lindsey talked about warm introductions and I could not agree more. But how do you get started? Well the most important thing is to reach out and ask people in your industry or even just friends and family and just casual conversation to tell you more about what they're working on, what their goals are, and lead into how you might be able to help them. Don't be overly aggressive. But be creative. Are there things that you could do? And then follow up. And this is the most important thing. Don't ask them for anything in return.

The crazy thing that I have found is that the people that have come forward on my behalf and made introductions for me, aren't always the ones that I have helped. It's not always linear. In fact, it rarely is. Very often the people helping me are people that aren't necessarily in my closest circles. They're people that I've met through my life that I've stayed in touch with. Maybe a quick email every six months, a quick coffee date once or twice a year. That kind of thing. And just being in touch with them and being considerate of what they're going through and what their needs are, maybe they'll think of you when an opportunity that's appropriate for you comes about. Or maybe they'll be there for you if you want an introduction to someone that they know. Be patient. If you give, you will receive.

Financial Grownup Tip number two: Lindsey's book is so full of great tips for us. She shared a couple, but I wanted to give a little bit more. So here are some other tips from Lindsey.

First of all, if you can work up the courage and feel comfortable and if you don't then get comfortable, do this, work up to this. Ask your boss to CC you on emails even when you don't need to be directly involved. It's going to give you insights into things that are going on in your company beyond your immediate duties, give you a wider perspective.

Lindsey also suggests sending video emails on occasion instead of writing out what you want to say. Just film a quick video and attach it to an email. It can be very effective.

One more final tip: Remix your meetings. Just try sitting in different seats than you usually do and that could actually change the group dynamic and maybe the group think. Come up with some different ideas or just give you a little more energy in your day.

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Check out Lindsey's website - www.LindseyPollak.com

• Lindsey's new book The Remix

Follow Lindsey!

• Instagram - @LindseyPollak

• Facebook - @LindseyPollakAuthor

• Twitter - @LindseyPollak

• LinkedIn - @LindseyPollak

• YouTube

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.