When Liz Thames and her husband adopted their dog Gracie they went on a spending bender buying up countless toys and treats for their new baby. But instead their precious pet taught them a lesson in values that helped shape the parents and family they became. 

In Liz’s money story you will learn:

-The story of how Liz and her husband adopted their first pet, Gracie

-The costs involved in adopting a dog

-How much money they spent before getting the dog, and what they bought

-How Gracie reacted to all the toys and treats

In Liz’s money lesson you will learn:

-How to figure out what you really need to buy for your family

-How marketing can confuse us and create a false need

-The importance of waiting to find out what is truly needed during a life change, such as having a child

-How to fight back against a scarcity mindset

-Specific tips on how to be frugal like Liz, including using social media as a tool

In Liz’s money tip you will learn:

-How she was able to take yoga classes by bartering

-The specific language and approach if you want to barter with a business

In my take you will learn:

-Why you should consider selling your used baby products, especially big ticket items like strollers

-My personal story of selling my son’s stroller

-My take on pet insurance

Episode Links

Get Liz Thames Book Meet the Frugalwoods: Achieving Financial Independence Through Simple Living. 

Learn more about Liz on her website Frugalwoods.com

Follow Liz!

Twitter @frugalwoods

Facebook Frugalwoods

Instagram Frugalwoods

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Transcription

Bobbi:
Support for Financial Grownup with Bobbi Rebell and the following message comes from Transfer Wise. The cheaper way to send money internationally. Transfer Wise takes a machete to the hefty fees that come up sending money abroad. Test it out for free at Transfer Wise.com slash podcast or download the app.

Liz:
We probably spent I don't know several hundred dollars on dog stuff which is more than we spent on either of our children by the way before they were born. So it was once she came into our lives we could then learn what she really needed and we could calibrate our purchases to her actual needs which apparently was a kitchen towel.

Bobbi:
You're listening to Financial Grownup with me, certified financial planner Bobbi Rebell. Author of How to be a Financial Grownup. You know what? Being a grownup is really hard especially when it comes to money but it's okay. We're going to get there together. I'm going to bring you one money story from a financial grownup, [inaudible 00:01:02] and then my take on how you can make it your own. We got this.

Bobbi:
Hey everyone. Pet lovers this is especially for you and if you're like me, your pets are like your children. There's nothing you wouldn't do for them. But there are things that you shouldn't do for them including overspending. Liz Thames is the author of Meet the Frugalwoods: Achieving Financial Independence Through Simple Living. And in fact many of her fans knew her only as Mrs. Frugalwoods until recently. But as you will learn Liz was not always as frugal as she is now. Here is Liz Thames, aka Mrs. Frugalwoods.

Bobbi:
Liz Thames aka Mrs. Frugalwoods, you're a financial grownup. Welcome to the podcast.

Liz:
Thank you so much for having me.

Bobbi:
And congratulations are in order for your new book, Meet the Frugalwoods: Achieving Financial Independence Through Simple Living. Did I get that right?

Liz:
You did.

Bobbi:
Okay. All right. We're going to talk more about the book but I want to hear more about your life in Vermont and your money story which has to do with something near and dear to my heart which is of course our pets.

Liz:
Yes. A number of years ago my husband and I decided we were ready to adopt a dog. We had wanted a dog for years but we'd been renters and we had moved around a lot. I'd been in grad school. Not a good time to get a dog because when you get a dog, you need to think about who's going to care for them all day long. When you're moving around and you're renting an apartment and you're not home because you're in grad school and working full time in order to get free tuition. You don't really have the time to care for a pet. It was a big decision for us to finally come to that moment where we owned a home and we felt like we had the time and the money to dedicate to having a dog. We adopted a gray hound which is a rescue dog. It's a really frugal way to get a pet and it's also a wonderful way of giving a pet a new home.

Liz:
So, gray hounds are-

Bobbi:
By the way, there are some costs when you adopt a pet.

Liz:
Oh absolutely. Yes. There are ... It's like with children. There's just kind of the costs just keep on going but it's yes, so you do pay a fee when you adopt a dog. Then you need to think about their long term health care as well. One of the things that we thought when we first adopted our dog was that she needed everything. We had waited years to get this dog; we were going to lavish her with all of the wonderful dog things. We went to PetSmart and just cruised the aisles and bought you know "Oh we need this. We need this" like impulse shop for this dog and bought all these toys. All of these kongs. You know what those are? You put peanut butter in it.

Bobbi:
What's a kong?

Liz:
It's like this round thing that you put peanut butter or treats in and the dog-

Bobbi:
Are dogs supposed to eat peanut butter? I don't know.

Liz:
Purportedly they stick their snout in it and lick it out. I don't know. I have like four[crosstalk 00:04:04]

Bobbi:
Are they supposed to eat peanut butter? I don't know.

Liz:
I don't know. They told us she could.

Bobbi:
Okay.

Liz:
But our dog had zero use for all of this stuff. She looked at it and was like no thanks and took a red kitchen towel out of our kitchen and said, this is my toy and she decided that she really didn't need a lot in life and that was a great lesson for us. That we kind of had bought into this consumer notion that in order to be good dog parents, we needed to provide all of this stuff for her. When in reality all she needed was a safe, warm space and lots and lots of walks and play time outside. It was just so illuminating for us that uh wow, we really bought into this marketing trope of what it means to have a dog.

Bobbi:
It reminds me of when people buy all these toys for babies. Maybe toddlers let's say and then all the toddler wants to do is play in the box that the toys came in.

Liz:
Oh a 100 percent. Yes. My daughter the other day got in a box and was like, "It's a boat". "I'm sailing down the river". This is an empty cardboard box. Just like excellent. I am really glad you have that imagination and I'm really glad I didn't buy any toys for you.

Bobbi:
Totally. So how much do you think you spent on toys and unnecessary just stuff for your- what's your dog's name?

Liz:
Our dog was Gracie better known as frugal hound and she sadly passed away earlier this year.

Bobbi:
Oh. I'm so sorry.

Liz:
Thank you. But it's wonderful to talk about her and to realize sort of the important role that she had in our lives. She was our first child and she really taught us what we needed to know about parenting which is that you do not need to buy a ton of stuff. It's also true that we bought things preemptively before she was even part of our lives. We probably spent to your question I don't know several hundred dollars on dog stuff which is more than we spent on either of our children by the way before they were born. Once she came into our lives we could then learn what she really needed and we could calibrate our purchases to her actual needs which apparently was a kitchen towel.

Bobbi:
And it's interesting because you actually learned from Gracie how to not over prepare and buy in advance for your children, your human children, when they came along. In a way she taught you a good lesson in budget parenting.

Liz:
Really.

Bobbi:
So what is the lesson then for our listeners and how can this apply not just to pet owners but to everyone?

Liz:
We are surrounded almost every single day by messages that tell us we need more stuff. There is always something more to buy for whatever phase of life you're in. Whether you have pets or you have kids or you don't have either of those things but you have a great interest in hiking or rock climbing or whatever it might be. There will always be this huge list of things that we're told that we need. I think marketing really makes us feel as though we need to have those things in order to be happy and to be fulfilled to be able to do the things we want to do with our lives. What I've realized over the years is that there really is no way to buy happiness. There is no way to sort own everything that you need to own. As soon as you reach that point, you'll realize there's more stuff or you need newer stuff or bigger stuff.

Liz:
This applies to everything from houses and cars all the way down to the clothes that we wear and the food that we buy. I think when you can sort of step outside of that consumer carousel and really identify what it is that you actually need on a daily basis. You'll realize it's quite a bit less than we're told we need.

Bobbi:
You also it seems learned that you can wait. We live in such a culture of abundance here in the United States that had you waited to buy the dog toys and evaluated whether you need them, it's not like they wouldn't have been there. There's no fear that it won't be there if you don't buy in advance. The same thing applies to children and for ourselves. We don't necessarily need to stock up a head of time. We can almost like the stores now do with as needed inventory. We can almost act that way for ourselves.

Liz:
So true and I think we often have this scarcity mindset that we won't have an [inaudible 00:08:22] we won't be able to provide for kids or our pets or our families. When in reality, we probably have plenty and we probably can make do with what we already own. My other favorite thing to do is source things used. Used cars, used furniture, used stuff for my kids. You can save 50, 75 percent sometimes 90 percent off of what something would have originally cost just by getting it used. There are so many sources right now of used things. Craig's List of course everybody knows about. Buy nothing groups. Buy and sell groups on Facebook. Just talking with your neighbors and friends. Finding hand me downs. Of course finding fantastic things on the side of the road which I advise caution but really can be done to great effect.

Liz:
Essentially looking at ways to not buy new. This not only saves you money but is environmentally friendly. It takes away a lot of that paralysis by analysis that I get when I'm looking at Amazon and reading 500 reviews. Like, "I don't know which toddler sippy cup to buy". If you just get it used, you kind of remove all of that stress and time from your search.

Bobbi:
And for your money tip Liz you're going to help us all live healthier for less.

Liz:
Yes. It's often possible to exercise for free by bartering or trading with your exercise studio. When I lived in Cambridge outside of Boston, I volunteered at the front desk of my yoga studio in exchange for free yoga classes. This was something I didn't realize was possible until I tried to save as much as I could every month and realized I was spending tons and tons of money on yoga classes. I think it's easy for us to look at exercise and think, "Oh I'm happy to spend on that because it's a good thing". And it is a good thing but you can often do it for free and I've heard from readers who have accomplished this at Crossfit studios, Pilates, ballet just about any type of exercise that the studio is often looking for this opportunity to make a barter or a trade. I used to take out the trash, sweep the floors, work at the front desk. Free yoga.

Bobbi:
How much do you estimate you saved?

Liz:
Doing that it was thousands of dollars. It's another great example of how costs really compound over the course of a year. You might only be spending 50 dollars, a 100 dollars, 200 dollars a month on exercising but when you think about how much that is over the course of a year and how much that money could do for you if you instead invested it or used it in a wiser way. It really becomes pretty profound. When you start to apply this to every line item in your budget, then you really can start to see astronomical savings.

Bobbi:
How did you approach the yoga studio because a lot of people might say well that's great but that's kind of a weird conversation. To be a client there and just sort of say, "Oh can I take out the trash and go to yoga for free"? How did that actually happen?

Liz:
Fortunately for me they had a poster up that advertised this program and so I was able to just email the email address on the poster but I know that this type of work study program often exists in studios. You can just ask, "Do you have any type of work study program where I could volunteer in exchange for classes"? And if they say no nothing is lost. They've said no. If they say yes, fabulous. You've now got an opportunity to get free classes.

Bobbi:
All great. I love that idea. Tell us more about your book and where people can find you.

Liz:
The book is Meet the Frugalwoods: Achieving Financial Independence Through Simple Living and it is a memoir about the financial journey that essentially I've been on and that ultimately led me to living on a homestead in Vermont. You can find the book on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble, at any local bookstore anywhere that books are sold.

Bobbi:
And where can people find you? Social media, website all that good stuff?

Liz:
Sure. So it's all Frugalwoods across the board. My website is: Frugalwoods.com and you can find me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at Frugalwoods.

Bobbi:
Liz you are wonderful. Thank you so much for joining us.

Liz:
Oh thank you for having me.

Bobbi:
Okay everyone. Liz totally delivered in this episode especially with taking the lessons from buying habits with Gracie and then taking those lessons and applying them when she became a parent to humans. Financial grownup tip number one. Liz talked about buying used stuff for your kid. Don't forget to sell stuff. For example, we were gifted an incredible and very pricey stroller when my son was born. We kept it in good shape and when he outgrew it, we posted it in a Facebook group and we were able to sell it to a local person for more than half the original cost which was still several hundred dollars. It pays off. Financial grownup tip number two. A word about pets. They are expensive. While you can easily avoid luxury pet wardrobes if that's your thing, that's fine but you can avoid it. It's a choice.

Bobbi:
You cannot neglect their health. Make sure you have a very big budget for that. I can take my Morkie in for a checkup and a routine vaccine and walk out with a very large bill. I also want to talk about pet insurance. It is also very expensive and can be limited in its coverage. In many cases it is not something that makes financial sense if you do the math. My family decided to have it for our Morkie for one reason. We never wanted to make a health decision about her after consulting our bank account.

Bobbi:
Pet health care expenses when they do need care beyond the routine, can put owners in a very tough positions. You may be asked to pay let's say a 1000 dollars for a bunch of tests. How do you say no? Then the tests show the pet needs a procedure; another bill. Then therapy and so on. It adds up and our pets are priceless but our money is finite. At a certain point you could be put in the position of saying, "Is so many more months worth this many more dollars"? Well the answer is usually going to be yes because we're human and we love our pets. The reality is that decision could very easily derail other financial needs, obligations and plans.

Bobbi:
If you get a pet, research pet insurance and make an informed decision. It is expensive. Usually it's only affordable if you get it when your pet is young. It's worth being proactive early on.

Bobbi:
All right. If you have not heard yet, I am very excited about this. We are going to start having one guest a month. Be a listener. If you want to be considered email us at info@financialgrownup and tell us what money story and what money tip you would share if you were chosen. If you have not already, please subscribe and help us spread the word by sharing on social media. I am at Bobbi Rebell at Twitter, on Instagram I am at Bobbi Rebell1 and go to BobbiRebell.com forward slash financial grownup podcast to learn more about the show and to sign up for mailing list so you can hear about things like how to be a guest on the show.

Bobbi:
I hope that you enjoyed Liz's story and that we all got one step closer to being financial grownups.

Bobbi:
Financial Grownup with Bobbi Rebell is edited and produced by Steve Stewart and is a BRK media production.

 

Money expert Lynnette Khalfani-Cox admits she was “young and dumb” when she owed money and could not pay it back. Instead of facing her reality- she hoped if she ignored it, it would go away. It did not. 

In Lynnette’s money story you will learn:

-Why she decided to borrow money from family

-The reason she was not able to pay it back despite having a plan

-Why she hid from several creditors- and her creative cover ups

-The devastating consequences of not paying her debt

In Lynnette’s lesson you will learn:

-Strategies to identify in advance when you are buying to impress others at your own expense

-No one who loves you is going to want you to go into debt for them

-You can run but you can’t hide from debt

In Lynnette’s money tip you will learn:

-The 3 questions Lynnette and  her husband ask each other before taking on debt

-How to borrow strategically

In my take you will learn

-The importance of facing up to your debt

-The danger of getting creditors involved

-Strategies to lower your obligations including meeting in person and negotiating lower payments

Episode Links

MoneyCoachUniversity.com

Askthemoneycoach.com

https://themoneycoach.net

Follow Lynnette!!

Instagram @themoneycoach

Facebook The Money Coach

Twitter @themoneycoach

Money expert Lynnette Khalfani-Cox admits she was “young and dumb” when she owed money and could not pay it back. Instead of facing her reality- she hoped if she ignored it, it would go away. It did not. In this Financial Grownup podcast episode you'll learn how to strategically borrow money. #DebtFree #FinanceTips #BorrowMoney

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Transcription

Lynette K. Cox:
I was mortified that my sister had to literally call me out and call me on the carpet, and just tell me how raggedy I was being, and how irresponsible.

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Financial Grownup with me, Certified Financial Planner Bobbi Rebell, author of How To Be a Financial Grownup. You know what? Being a grownup is really hard, especially when it comes to money. But it's okay. We're going to get there together. I'm going to bring you one money story from a financial grownup, one lesson, and then my take on how you can make it your own. We got this.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, friends. Well, the only thing worse than having debt you can't pay back is having debt and just ignoring it. That will only make it worse. Actually, wait. There is one thing that is actually even worse, and that is, of course, owing money to family and trying to duck it. My guest is Lynette Khalfani-Cox, known as the Money Coach. She is also the force behind Money Coach University. Her sister's loan wasn't the only one she was hiding from. Let's just say there's a guy she wants to impress involved, cars get repossessed, and all kinds of chaos ensues. I can't believe she told us this story. This is definitely unbelievable. Here is Lynette Khalfani-Cox.

Bobbi Rebell:
Lynette Khalfani-Cox, welcome to the show. You are a financial grownup.

Lynette K. Cox:
Hey, thank you so much for having me.

Bobbi Rebell:
Well, it's great to have you, especially because I am such a fan of yours. We've met through friends a couple of times at different events, and of course you were a superstar at the last FinCon, which was fantastic.

Lynette K. Cox:
I am so looking forward to FinCon 2018.

Bobbi Rebell:
Orlando.

Lynette K. Cox:
Exactly. What is not to like about Florida?

Bobbi Rebell:
Exactly. I love the money story that you are going to share with us. You did a little bit of hide and seek in college. You weren't always the superstar that you are now, to say the least.

Lynette K. Cox:
Yeah. That's putting it mildly. The story I want to share is about the time that I hid in college, not just from one creditor, but actually from two. One of the creditors, surprisingly enough, was my sister, Cheryl. I have five sisters, and Cheryl's the oldest one.

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh my.

Lynette K. Cox:
Never a good look there, to hide from a family member that you owe. But also from my car lender. Here's kind of what happened with both situations. I was totally young and dumb when I was in college. Honestly, I didn't borrow wisely, but-

Bobbi Rebell:
What did you borrow for? What were these loans for?

Lynette K. Cox:
With my sister, I had my very first internship, a college internship with ... I'll never forget. With WEAR-TV in Pensacola, Florida, and my sister lived right nearby there at the time, and I was in school in Southern California. I went to University of California Irvine for undergrad. I had this internship, but guess what? It didn't pay. They actually said, "Oh, we'll give you a stipend at the end." What happened was, I asked my sister to borrow money in order to go out there to Florida, to get a plane ticket from Southern Cal into Pensacola area. I had all the best of intentions, and I really did plan to pay her back.

Lynette K. Cox:
Well, what happens? I go back to Southern California after the internship, then I don't. I just don't immediately pay her back. Life got in the way. My tuition, and fees, and books, and supplies-

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh, yeah.

Lynette K. Cox:
... everything else. Then she called me. She was like, "Oh, hey." And she left me a voicemail, and I didn't make a speedy beat to call her back, and then the next week she called me again, and then I didn't call her back, and boy, the third time she called me did she let me have it.

Bobbi Rebell:
Ooh.

Lynette K. Cox:
She said, "Lynette, I don't want you to treat me like you would treat a Visa or a MasterCard, a creditor." She said, "You borrowed from family. I'm your sister and I love you, but you have to be financially responsible. Don't duck your obligations, and most importantly, don't duck me." She said, "If you don't have the money, just say, 'I don't have it.' Or, 'Here, let me pay you back a month from now.' Or, 'Let me work out a payment plan for you.' Or let ..." It was such a wake-up call, Bobbi, I'll tell you, because I was so embarrassed. I was mortified, frankly.

Bobbi Rebell:
Then there was also this car loan.

Lynette K. Cox:
Oh, yeah. There was the car loan. I had a 1987 Hyundai Excel. It was my very first car. Don't you know, that car got repossessed.

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh my gosh.

Lynette K. Cox:
I only missed two payments. I don't know why they did that to me.

Bobbi Rebell:
Is that standard, that they repossess so quickly? Is that the norm?

Lynette K. Cox:
Wait, or was it three? I don't know.

Bobbi Rebell:
But still, that seems ... I don't know. Did you talk to them and say, "Can you cut me some slack?" Was there any dialogue, or you just shut them down?

Lynette K. Cox:
Absolutely not. I was such a bonehead. Again, very quickly, here's what I did. I had a boyfriend at the time. Doesn't it always involve a guy?

Bobbi Rebell:
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Lynette K. Cox:
Very nice, sweet guy. We were totally into each other. We're walking through the mall one time in Southern California. We go into a leather store. It was around the holidays. He sees this leather coat, this brown leather coat. I see him look at the tag at the end of the sleeve, on the arm of the coat, and he looks at it quickly and goes, "whew," and just flips that tag back around, as if, "Whew, that's too expensive for my taste." He just keeps walking, but what do I do? Young and dumb. I'm like, "Ooh, note to self. I see that he really liked the coat. I'm gonna come back and buy it."

Lynette K. Cox:
Sure enough, I go back to the store. I spend like $500, which I have-

Bobbi Rebell:
What was your car payment? Do you remember?

Lynette K. Cox:
Yes. It was about $225, $250.

Bobbi Rebell:
We're talking about two months' car payments, which would have prevented the car from being repossessed.

Lynette K. Cox:
Exactly.

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh my gosh.

Lynette K. Cox:
I totally, I just blew it. I mean, I did not even attempt to contact Hyundai Motor Credit Corp, and yes, they did come and take that car, rightfully so, of course.

Bobbi Rebell:
Did the boyfriend drive you around everywhere then?

Lynette K. Cox:
You know what? I learned an even bigger lesson, because I had to fess up. One day I walked out of my apartment that I had. You would have thought I was Halle Berry. I was such an actress, okay? I was like, "Where's my car?" He was like, "Oh my god. Did somebody steal your car? Where's your car?"

Bobbi Rebell:
"You're wearing it."

Lynette K. Cox:
Yeah, exactly.

Bobbi Rebell:
Did he have the jacket on? Oh my gosh.

Lynette K. Cox:
Finally, I fessed up. I was like, "No. You know what, honey? Actually I think my car got repossessed." He was like, "What?" He was like, "What do you mean?" I said, "Well, to be honest, I didn't pay my car note." He was like, "What?" He was so shocked. He looked at me. He said, "If you didn't have the money for it, how come you didn't just ask me? I would have given you the money."

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh my gosh.

Lynette K. Cox:
He was a very sweet guy, and I said, "No, no, no." He knew that I was working at the time. I was a dispatcher for AAA at the time, in college. He says, "Well, can I ask, what did you do with your money?" I was like, "You know that brown leather coat that I got you for Christmas?" He was like, "Yeah." I said, "Well, I kind of spent two car payments on that."

Bobbi Rebell:
See, he wouldn't spend his own money on that.

Lynette K. Cox:
Yeah. But he told me something, Bobbi, again, that I never forgot. He said, "Lynette, I would have never want you to put yourself in the hole for me." It was a wake-up call. I mean, nobody who loves you is really gonna want you to just ... You don't have to spend to impress somebody. You don't have to buy someone's love. You don't have to try to dig yourself in the hole, quote-unquote, to make somebody else happy. It just doesn't work that way.

Bobbi Rebell:
What is the lesson for our listeners? What could you have done differently, looking back with all of your wisdom now?

Lynette K. Cox:
Unquestionably, the biggest lesson that I got is that you can run, but you can't hide, and that literally as much as you may try to duck your responsibilities ... Believe me, I tried to hide that Hyundai. Like, I parked on the side, not right in the front of my apartment complex. But as much as you try to shirk or duck your financial responsibilities, in the end, it always catches up with you.

Bobbi Rebell:
For your money tip, I love that you're going to talk about debt, because sometimes you do need to borrow money.

Lynette K. Cox:
What my husband and I do, before we borrow now, we first ask ourselves three questions. Question one is, "Can we afford to pay cash instead of borrowing?" If the answer is "no," or "not comfortably," then we say, "Is this something that's worth borrowing for?" We love to travel, but is it worth just going into debt, putting it on a credit card, and really, the answer is "no" for that. But the third question is, "If you say yes, it is worth borrowing for, what is the lowest cost source that we can tap to borrow and pay off the debt?" When you do that, at least you're borrowing strategically. You're borrowing wisely, giving it some serious thought and consideration before you just sign on the dotted line.

Bobbi Rebell:
All right. Before I let you go, let's talk about MoneyCoachUniversity.com.

Lynette K. Cox:
Well, I'm doing courses, and I'm teaching people everything under the sun about money, about budgeting. I have a course on there, Negotiating for Women. I have a course about paying for college, credit courses, debt courses. It's really teaching people the nuts and bolts about personal finances, in what I hope is an engaging way, and they get lessons. I give them homework assignments, and we kind of make it fun, but it's all video-based. You know, I write a lot. You know I've written 12 books, but everybody doesn't want to read a 200, 250 page book. Watch a video instead, and learn.

Bobbi Rebell:
You are prolific. Oh my gosh. I mean, 12 books, all these video courses. Amazing. Where can people find you?

Lynette K. Cox:
Well, my free financial advice site is AsktheMoneyCoach.com. A ton of videos on there. 1600 plus articles. You mentioned that I've written 12 books. I'm super proud about that. Then the latest is MoneyCoachUniversity.com. We're all on social media. Everything is just @TheMoneyCoach. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, all that good stuff. Instagram too, now.

Bobbi Rebell:
Instagram too. Everything.

Lynette K. Cox:
I'm on the Gram.

Bobbi Rebell:
I know. I don't know how you do it all. Thank you so much for joining us. This has been great. Thank you so much.

Lynette K. Cox:
Thank you, Bobbi.

Bobbi Rebell:
This episode was a tough one. My friends, I truly hope you do not have an experience anything like Lynette. Financial Grownup Tip number one: Do not duck and cover. If you can not pay a debt, find a way to work something out. No creditor wants to get zero paid back. They want to work with you, and you do not want them sending your case to a collection agency. No one wins there, and it will wreck your credit score. There's nothing more not grownup than just hoping if you ignore the debt it will go away. It will not.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial Grownup Tip number two: Make a phone call to the person or business to whom you owe money. Even if you can, make an appointment and go in person. I say that because if you just email, there's no human touch. If they can sense your goodwill and your honesty, and see you as a person, not a bill to be collected, it could make them want to help you more, because you're a person, not a piece of paper. While you should be prepared to tell them what you can pay- in other words, do your math in advance and come prepared- before you actually offer anything, tell them your story and say, "I want to work something out. I value your service, and you do deserve to be paid, but can you help me out a little here? What can you do for me?"

Bobbi Rebell:
Just give it a few minutes. Let them think about it. They may reduce the overall bill. They may propose some kind of payment plan that works for you better than you even would have proposed to them. Even if they don't, move forward. Set up something. Find a way to pay them something. If you are really tight, a small payment, even if they have to increase down the road.

Bobbi Rebell:
Thanks to all of you for supporting Financial Grownup. If you like the show, take a minute to rate and review us, and if you have not already, please hit the subscribe button so you won't miss any episodes. I want to hear from you guys. Get in touch on social media, @BobbiRebell on Twitter, @BobbiRebell1 on Instagram, and don't forget to leave me comments. Go to my website. Please sign up for my newsletter so I can keep you posted on everything going on with the show. No more hide and seek, my friends. I hope you guys enjoyed Lynette's story as much as I did, and that we all got one step closer to being Financial Grownups.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial Grownup with Bobbi Rebell is edited and produced by Steve Stewart, and is a BRK Media production.

Emma Johnson, Author of The Kickass Single Mom: Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self and Raise Fabulous Happy Children and the force behind the Wealthy Single Mommy website shares the dramatic story of how a tragic accident led to the end of her marriage.

Then, after a total financial collapse with two children in tow, she turned it all around while building a multi-six figure self-driven business. 

In Emma’s money story you will learn:

-How her so-called perfect life came unraveled with one phone call

-How Emma became financially independent after her divorce

-Emma’s money strategy for single parents

-How to find your inner strength as a single parent

-How Emma changed her mental focus and made $100,000 freelance writing

 

In Emma’s lesson you will learn:

-Her inspiring advice for single parents

-How to balance commitment to marriage and financial independence

-The importance of supporting other single parents

 

In Emma’s money tip you will learn:

-How to value all that you have

-How gratitude can help you be financially secure

-Balancing need and wants using gratitude

 

In my take you will learn:

-The importance of having a backup plan for life

-The best things you can do to support the single parents in your life

-Why hiring single parents can be a great business strategy

Episode Links

The Kickass Single Mom book

NY Post article on Emma Johnson

The Doctors featuring Emma Johnson

Fox and Friends

Emma’s Like a Mother podcast

Emma’s blog WealthySingleMommy.com

 

Follow Emma Johnson!

Twitter @johnsonemma

Facebook: WealthySingleMommy

Instagram @WealthySingleMommy

Emma Johnson, Author of The Kickass Single Mom: Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self and Raise Fabulous Happy Children and the force behind the Wealthy Single Mommy website shares the dramatic story of how a tragic accident led to the end of her marriage. In this Financial Grownup podcast episode Emma shares how she became financially independent after her divorce. #FinancialIndependence #FinancialFreedom #Author

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Transcription

Emma Johnson:
He fell off of a cliff on a tiny island where they had no medical service and suffered a traumatic brain injury, and he was like, "You need to get on the next plane to Athens," and I had a nursing baby and I was on the plane. It was like real life. That set off the next ten years of my life.

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Financial Grownup with me, certified financial planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of How to Be a Financial Grownup. But you know what? Being a grownup is really hard, especially when it comes to money, but it's okay. We're gonna get there together. I'm gonna bring you one money story from a financial grownup, one lesson, and then my take on how you can make it your own. We got this.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, friends. Before we start this episode, I just want to thank all of you who have been sending in good wishes and supporting the show by subscribing and rating and reviewing on iTunes. It truly means so much to me, and all your help spreading the word is amazing. Okay, let's talk about today's guest. We all think that it is just not gonna happen to us because we work hard, we put together the perfect life, but then sometimes something out of our control happens and our life changes forever, sometimes in an instant. In the case of my guest, it was her husband literally falling off a cliff that put her perfect life into a tailspin.

Bobbi Rebell:
Her story will at first shock you and then inspire you. Emma Johnson is the author of the best-selling book, The Kickass Single Mom: Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self, and Raise Fabulous, Happy Children. I love the book so much. You can even see my endorsement right on the back cover of the book, so check it out. You may also know her website, wealthysinglemommy.com. Now, I am not a single mom, but I have to tell you, her advice is truly universal. It is about owning your decisions and being financially self-sufficient. That's for everyone. True story: when I needed career advice, Emma was at the top of my list. She gets it done. She knows what she's talking about. Here is Emma Johnson. Emma Johnson, financial grownup, welcome to the show.

Emma Johnson:
Hey, hey, Bobbi. Glad to be here.

Bobbi Rebell:
So, what is up for 2018, my dear?

Emma Johnson:
Oh, my gosh. Well, I had came off of 2017 where I watched my book, The Kickass Single Mom-

Bobbi Rebell:
Best seller, by the way.

Emma Johnson:
Best seller, and it was named by the New York Post as a must-read, and I was on The Doctors and I was on Fox & Friends and it was all really exciting. It was a very, very, very exciting year.

Bobbi Rebell:
Did you lose count of media hits? You were everywhere.

Emma Johnson:
Yeah, we did close to 200. That's pretty awesome.

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh, my gosh.

Emma Johnson:
So, it was very fun. It was very exciting and glamorous. I will not lie. And now I'm still pushing out the book, but it's onto new things. I'm actually talking to my agent this week about next book deal and pushing out what I do, which is really kind of grounded in my blog, Wealthy Single Mommy, where, as you know Bobbi, I talk about money, career, dating, sex and parenting for single moms.

Bobbi Rebell:
Which brings us to the money story that you have brought to share. It's a doozy.

Emma Johnson:
Yeah, it is. I always tell the kind of skeleton version because it is still so painful. For all practical purposes, I was a stay-at-home mom. I've always been a writer, journalist. I did a little freelance writing when I had my baby, and I was married. I was married to a nice person, and he made good money, and I was like, oh, this is the dream. I've got the nice guy and got the nice money. I got the nice apartment. I got the beautiful kid. And compared to growing up with a broke single mom myself, I was like, oh, I did it. I won. I won life.

Bobbi Rebell:
It'll never happen to you.

Emma Johnson:
Yeah. I was like 31 years old, like it's all good. Check, life. I did it. And (bleep) happens, and (bleep) totally happened to my family. My husband was working in Greece, and he literally fell off of a cliff. He fell off of a cliff on a tiny island where they had no medical service and suffered a traumatic brain injury. I got a call from his boss, and he was like, "You need to get on the next plane to Athens," and I had a nursing baby and I was on the plane. It was like real life. That set off the next ten years of my life now ... well, eight years. He miraculously survived. And fast forward to today, I can tell you that it was a success story. I mean, he's still struggling, but back to work. He's a full time dad. But it immediately completely destabilized our marriage.

Emma Johnson:
Next thing you know I'm pregnant again. I own that one. I own that pregnancy. And I had a baby, a completely destabilized husband, and I was totally financially dependent on him. I could just see it. I could see the whole thing. I didn't know what was happening. It was this time of complete lack of control and turmoil, but I'm like, okay, this is gonna be on me. I'm gonna have to run this whole show by myself. I just knew that. What ended up happening, we split up, and now two tiny babies. And I had gotten some nice house support for about a year. But the whole time I'm like, okay, I'm gonna take this while it's coming, but I know it's not gonna last.

Emma Johnson:
Looking back, I don't know. You know what? There's ... whether it's a higher being or an inner strength, but people have it, women definitely have it, and moms 100% have that thing, that killer instinct where it's like, "I'm making this (bleep) work." I did, and I just started making money, and I paid my bills. I took care of my kids. I put them in childcare full time, and I still spent time with them. I was like I am not missing out on this amazing time with these babies. I remember the year before I had my daughter, the second year into my freelance writing business, I was like I'm gonna make $100,000 this year. This was ten years ago, and I did it. I was making-

Bobbi Rebell:
That's a lot of money, freelance writing.

Emma Johnson:
It was, and it was just my second year in business, and then I was like, oh, wow. I started to realize how I had chosen, unconsciously, unconsciously, to hold myself back professionally and financially during my marriage because my husband ... he's progressive, liberal, feminist person, change-all-the-diapers, get in the ... He was that guy, but he was also the other guy. He's southern European and he's macho. He pulled out the chair for me at the restaurant. He was a macho dude in a lot of ways that I liked a lot. I chose that, and he chose that, and we had this unconscious, unspoken agreement between us, which was he was gonna be the man, and I was going to be the woman, and that part of that agreement meant that I would always earn less.

Emma Johnson:
When I started making more money, and it wasn't so hard and it wasn't so long, and he was saying those things about how he liked the idea of me being dependent on him, and I was like you know what? I had held myself back, and (bleep) that. I am blowing this out of the water. It was very humbling to me because I thought I knew myself, I thought I knew him, I thought I was aware. And I was ... Remember, I was making goof money. It wasn't like I was a fully dependent stay-at-home wife from the minute I met him. It was all these very subtle ways that women, I had come to understand, do hold ourselves back because it's hard. We want to be married, and we want to be engaged with men and in love and committed, but we also want to be successful and live our full selves, and that's painful. It's hard, and we're working that out. We are working that out.

Bobbi Rebell:
So, Emma, what is the lesson that you want to share?

Emma Johnson:
Just go for it because you will never be your full self until you are financially independent, and that doesn't mean you can't be in a partnership and that you have collective investments and a collective life, but knowing that you can always leave, knowing that you can always take care of yourself and your babies without anybody else, without your parents, without a man, without the government. That you can do it on your own is power that you will never experience any other way. If you're there, own it and love it and pull other women up with you. Maybe you're not quite there yet, but recognize in yourself that that is important.

Bobbi Rebell:
So, give us a money tip, something that you use in your everyday life, something very specific that everyone can incorporate in their lives right now.

Emma Johnson:
Gratitude. Make it part of the fabric of your life. You're eating something; people don't have something to eat. Your apartment is warm when it's freezing outside. You have babies that you can hug and cuddle when other people are dying to have a baby and they can't. You are so blessed and grateful, and if you are constantly feeling that and recognizing it, it's almost impossible to buy frivolous things or overspend or take for granted your money because you are so grateful and a really responsible steward of your money.

Bobbi Rebell:
That's really good advice because we all tend to focus, I know I'm certainly guilty of this, of what we want, what we feel we need, and need is very discretionary. What we perceive as a need ... We really have first world problems here. We don't need to go to Whole Foods for another grocery shopping trip or whatever. We're good. I have heat in my apartment. My children are healthy. My husband's healthy. We're all good, so we all have to have a little more gratitude. Thank you so much.

Emma Johnson:
Thank you. This is wonderful.

Bobbi Rebell:
Okay, friends, here's my take on what Emma had to say. Financial grownup tip number one: have a life plan B. We all have visions of whatever we think we want. In Emma's case, it was a traditional family where the man makes more money and the women earn less. But life is, as we know, super messy. We listen to stories like Emma's and we sympathize. But I'm telling you, very few newlyweds out there think this could happen to them. Whatever they perceive as their ideal, we all believe we're gonna get there and hopefully we all will, but unexpected things happen, not just a divorce, but even a spouse losing a job. Things happen. You suddenly have to be the one driving the family income when you don't expect it, and, again, that could even be gender neutral, so important to be paying attention. You should not spend your life, of course, dwelling on that. You should live your life, but it can happen.

Bobbi Rebell:
I remember I was engaged in my twenties hearing that a friend of a friend was getting divorced. She'd only been married a couple of years, and I could thought, oh, that can never happen to me. And then you know what? It did. I was divorced by age 30. I didn't have kids, but it was still pretty unexpected and pretty complicated. It changed my whole view on the fact that I now needed to know that even if I wasn't always the primary breadwinner, it was something that could happen and I needed to have a plan. Now, that plan can be a step up in your earnings. It can also be being able to know that you can downsize or shift resources, maybe move to a less expensive area, whatever. But don't believe that it will never happen to you. It can happen. Live your life, though. Don't obsess.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial grownup tip number two: reach out to your single mom or dad friends and offer to help in some way. Maybe babysit their kids while they're going on a job interview, or need to get some work done for a client or for their job, or just so they could have a little break. You could set them up on a date, maybe treat them to a day out, whether it's a spa day, going to a show, or a basketball game. Whatever they're into, whatever you're into. Just reach out. Include them in a dinner party, even if everyone else is a couple, or just call and ask how they are, how you can help them out. If you are an employer, consider hiring a single mom or dad. They are going to be incredibly efficient and hard working employees. You will get amazing value by having them on your team. We are all in this together.

Bobbi Rebell:
And single moms, if you are one of the few that have not already read Emma's book, please check it out. Kickass Single Mom. It is amazing; complete with my blurb on the back cover. And, of course, check out her website, wealthysinglemommy.com. She also has a Facebook group that is flourishing and a tremendous resource. Thank you all for listening to this latest episode of the Financial Grownup Podcast. The support we have been getting has been the best. I am so excited to keep bringing you stories and lessons from my financial grownup guests. If you like the show, please subscribe, take a moment to rate and review the show. Anywhere is good, but the best place for people to discover us is through Apple Podcasts or iTunes ratings and reviews. Those really help. And please consider telling your friends and sharing on social media as well. I always love hearing Emma's advice. I hope you did too, and that we all got one step closer to being financial grownups. Financial Grownup with Bobbi Rebell is edited and produced by Steve Stewart, and is a BRK Media production.