Posts tagged volunteering
The payback to giving back for Financial Grownups and their families with Simple Acts author Natalie Silverstein
Natalie Silverstein Instagram

Philanthropist and "Simple Acts" author Natalie Silverstein learned first hand the power of empathy when her 7-year old son surprised her with a true act of kindness. She shares that experience along with specific ways Financial Grownups can give back to their communities with their family and friends. 

In Natalie's money story you will learn:

  • How the verbiage we use with children about those less fortunate than us can be so important

  • The importance of knowing that all kids are different and learn at different speeds

  • How, when her son was about 7 years old, he knew that a homeless man in the subway needed help and proceeded to give all he had at the time

  • Natalie and her son, now 16, had a very similar experience just recently where her son, once again, gave all that he had

In Natalie’s money lesson you will learn:

  • Why it's so important to keep the lines of communication open with our children

  • The importance of sharing our resources with our children while they are still young

  • How showing our children gratitude for what we have can be so meaningful to them

  • Showing our children how we can help people that don't have as much as they do

  • The way we word things to our children can have an impact of how they view those people who are less fortunate

In Natalie's everyday money tip you will learn:

  • If you have a child celebrating a birthday they can make a donation to a charity of their choosing at one of the websites listed below to help them learn about donating money

In My Take you will learn:

  • The subtitle of the book is The Busy Family’s Guide to Giving Back. If you don’t have young kids- don’t let that stop you. Pick up Natalie’s book and get going. 

  • Plan ahead for how you are going to interact with people that may be less fortunate than you.


Episode Links:

www.EchoAge.com

www.KidsCanGiveToo.com

www.SilversteinFoundation.org

Check out Natalie's website -

www.SimpleActsGuide.com

Follow Natalie!


Transcription

Nat Silverstein:
Very quietly, he didn't even look up while he was doing it, he unzipped the little side pocket and he pulled out a nickel, and when the man came by, he kind of quietly put it in his cup, didn't look up at him. He obviously understood that he had something that he didn't need, and that he could give it to this man.

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Financial Grownup, with me, Certified Financial Planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of How to Be a Financial Grownup. And you know what? Being a grownup is really hard, especially when it comes to money. But it's okay. We're going to get there together. I'm going to bring you one money story from a financial grownup, one lesson, and then my take on how you can make it your own. We got this!

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey everyone. This story you just heard a preview of at the top of the show literally gave me chills when my friend Natalie shared it with me, and there's more where that came from. I'm really excited to share this interview. I also want to thank everyone, truly, for joining us. The show is really picking up steam and that's because of you. The support that you've been giving to the show is priceless, especially when you not only subscribe but also tell friends about the show. I just wanted to say an official thank you again. It's really appreciated. We grow one listener at a time.

Bobbi Rebell:
Let's talk about Natalie Silverstein. She is a really big deal. Natalie is a frequent writer, speaker, and consultant on the topic of family service, presenting to parents, educators, and children, and I got to know her, actually, when our children went to school together. As you will hear, she was the go-to mom if you wanted to do something good with your kids, a service project, volunteering, and so on. I remember taking my son to different activities suggested by Natalie when he was younger. Very hands-on, getting it done. Natalie runs the New York chapter of Doing Good Together and has just come out with her first book, Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back. When I was reading this book, I could literally hear the voice of Natalie behind the writing, that's how intensely personal this book was for Natalie.

Bobbi Rebell:
With that, let's just get to the interview. Here is Natalie Silverstein.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, Natalie Silverstein, you're a financial grownup, welcome to the podcast!

Nat Silverstein:
Thank you so much, Bobbi! Thank you for having me.

Bobbi Rebell:
This is such a treat because we are friends beyond the podcast. Our children actually went to school together.

Nat Silverstein:
Yes.

Bobbi Rebell:
It's so appropriate that you finally, finally wrote a book. You run the New York chapter of Doing Good Together, and now you've written the book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back, so congratulations.

Nat Silverstein:
Thank you, thank you so much. A few years back, my kids were little, I have an 18-year-old, an almost-16-year-old, and an 11-year-old, same as you, and I really was just searching around New York City, trying to find volunteer opportunities, organizations, nonprofits, that would take us as volunteers. I just was sort of astonished at the number of people in need in this city, in this community, and the lack of opportunities for me to volunteer and to do good with my kids. I always joke around, you can get Chinese food at four in the morning, you can get anything you want any time in New York City, but I could not, for the life of me, find a place that would welcome my young children to volunteer, so I thought I would create something on my own.

Nat Silverstein:
Instead of creating a website, or a listing, or a subscriber list, I sort of noodled around on the internet and I found Doing Good Together, which is based in Minneapolis. It's been around for about 15 years, and they had a fantastic family-friendly listing of volunteer opportunities that they sent out to subscribers every month. I reached out to the founder and I said, "I'd like to do this, I'd like to franchise your idea and be your person on the ground in New York City." She flipped out and said, "This is exactly what I've always wanted, I've wanted to go national and spread the message of what we're doing here." I was the first other location, and now we're in several other cities, and so I curate this listing, and they push it out for me to all of my subscribers, and that's been really gratifying work. Through all of that, I did, as you mentioned, become sort of this defacto community service lady.

Bobbi Rebell:
As parents, and even if you're not a parent, you have people in your life, and you look at them, and you don't know if they really are understanding what they have and what other people don't have, and the importance of acts of kindness and simple things that you can give back. You're very candid in the book that you've had your own struggles with your own family about teaching them the values that you have and getting them to basically get on board.

Nat Silverstein:
Right.

Bobbi Rebell:
So tell us your money story.

Nat Silverstein:
I have three really wonderful kids. My son is in the middle, and while the two girls are very sort of emotionally connected, have very high EQ, super sensitive to other people's feelings, my boy is kind of a typical boy. When he was younger, he was a little bit head in the clouds, a little spacey. You'd be talking to him, and I joke around and say you could be crying hysterically in front of him and he'd be like, "Oh, gee, do you have a cookie?" He's a wonderful, affectionate, warm person, but when he was younger it really felt like it didn't quite connect, he didn't connect all the dots. I joked around that I sort of worried that he lacked this empathy chip, this piece of your soul that kind of connects to other people and understands what people are going through.

Nat Silverstein:
One day, we're on the subway, he and I, and he was young, maybe like seven or eight. There was a gentleman panhandling on the subway, as happens very frequently here in New York City. The gentleman was telling his story very passionately, and asking for help genuinely and articulately, and everyone on the subway is doing what people mostly do here in New York. They look down, looking at their phones, sort of ignoring him, not really making eye contact with him. It is very difficult to deal with homelessness in the street when you are dealing with it, because it would be very hard to help every single person.

Nat Silverstein:
But I'm sitting there and I'm looking at my son, I'm seeing him process all of this, and very quietly, and he didn't even look up while he was doing it, he unzipped the little side pocket, you know there's little pockets on the jacket, and he put his hand in, and he pulled out a nickel. Honestly, I don't know where he got this nickel. He probably found it on the street or found it on the playground, stuck it in his little zipper pocket, this little hidden pocket. He just pulled it out, and when the man came by, he kind of quietly put it in his cup, didn't look up at him. I was so moved in that moment, I just was like, first of all, where did this come from? He obviously understood that he had something that he didn't need and that he could give it to this man. Again, very quietly, without any fanfare.

Nat Silverstein:
I will fast-forward and tell you that we were just on the subway again together the other day, and the same thing happened. He's a big boy now, he's almost 16, and he pulled out his wallet, and he took out a dollar, and he put it in the man's cup before we got off the train. So I worried about him, and I didn't know if he was getting it all along, and he really kind of got it. It was gratifying to me, but every kid has to come at this and to this at their own speed. All kids are different, we know that, and again, it has to be all of this, doing service, acts of kindness, philanthropy, these have to be conversations and things that happen in your family on an ongoing everyday routine basis, because those are the drops in the bucket, those are the things that really fill out a kid's character, for sure.

Bobbi Rebell:
What kind of conversation did you have with him after this happened when he was younger? How old was he?

Nat Silverstein:
He was seven or eight. He was really little.

Bobbi Rebell:
Did you have a conversation? What was it like?

Nat Silverstein:
I did. We were holding hands, walking out of the subway, and I was like, "Oh, I'm really proud of you for doing that. I didn't know that you had that in your pocket, and I was kind of surprised." He didn't want to talk about it so much. I think that's the other thing, there's a lot of, my book talks about, reflection and really giving kids space to ask questions and to talk about what they'd like to do in terms of moving forward. Would they like to continue to do service in this way, and how did they feel about what they saw and what they heard? But there's also a little bit of, you don't want to over-talk it, and you want to just let it kind of be a part of the way that you move through the world. I just told him I was really proud of him and I thought that that was a really nice, kind thing to do, and that hopefully this man would be able to get some food with that money.

Bobbi Rebell:
What is the lesson for our listeners from that story?

Nat Silverstein:
I think it's watching and listening to your own kids, teaching about money, learning about money, and particularly learning about philanthropy and sharing of your resources is very personal to a family. These concepts of generosity, and service, and empathy, all of that goes along with a conversation about money and gratitude for what we have, and understanding and acknowledging that not everyone in the world has as much as we do, so how lucky we are. Also, what are the ways in which we can help other people who maybe don't have as much?

Nat Silverstein:
There's a lot of language around this social justice stuff. We talk about not calling someone a homeless person, but a person who is experiencing homelessness, because the notion is, "There but for the grace of God go I." homeless people generally are people who had a home, had a job, had a family. Something has happened, right now they're experiencing this, hopefully they can get help and they can find a home, find a job, go back to school. So much of the language around philanthropy and service has sort of judgment around financial and socioeconomic status, and so I just think these are important conversations to have with kids, and to always talk about how grateful we are for what we have. To be honest, it's not always going to be perfect, and sometimes things aren't going to go perfectly when you're doing volunteer work and that sort of thing, but just kind of always keeping the lines of communication open with kids on this.

Bobbi Rebell:
I like what you said about learning not to judge, because that's something even just among adults, we should not judge people that are going through tough times.

Nat Silverstein:
Sure. Words like impoverished, and needy, and hungry, yes, food insecurity is a real thing, and I think that phrase has really come up lately. The notion that kids go to school hungry every day and it's not because they don't have homes, or families that love them, or their parents don't have jobs, it's because at the end of the month, money starts to run tight, and there's not as much food. We know that a lot of kids get their meals at school, and so kids need to understand that this is a real thing that happens to a lot of children in their own communities, and that there are simple things that they can be doing, that your family can be doing, to help others who are in that position, and hopefully help them to get out of that position. It's not always a handout, it's a hand-up.

Bobbi Rebell:
Let's move onto your money tip, because this basically will tell us all how we can execute these ideas, specific apps that will make it easier to have your children get involved and give back.

Nat Silverstein:
One idea in particular that I wanted to share is if you have a child who's celebrating a birthday, or a bar mitzvah, or a sweet 16, or a confirmation, or anything, any wonderful milestone, and they would like to make some sort of charitable donation as part of that celebration, which I think is so critically important, and shows that in our joy, we are able to share that joy with others who perhaps are in need, there are a couple of websites, one's called ECHOage, one's called Kids Can Give Too, and these are gift sharing websites. The birthday child, or the special event child, registers with their website, selects a charity to support, there are literally hundreds to choose from, and then asks guests, in lieu of getting gifts, to make a monetary donation on the website.

Nat Silverstein:
The website collects all the funds and splits it, and I think in some cases the kids can even say how much of a split they want. Do they want 50/50? Do they want 60/40? Do they want 70/30? So that's sort of an interesting conversation, too. The child can say, "I want to do 50/50." Half of the money they collect through this website from their guests, and their friends, and their family, will go to the charity of their choosing, and half will come back to them so they can select one special, important gift for them. It's kind of a win/win, everybody feels like they've given something to the child, and the child feels like they've given back something to a charity that they care about. I do find sometimes when you ask for in lieu of gifts, people don't like doing that because they want so much to give a gift, and I totally get it, so this is sort of the best of both worlds.

Bobbi Rebell:
Because the kid is still getting a gift, so they're more likely to do it, because sometimes people, as you said, they just end up not doing anything rather than go to the toy store. That's a great solution.

Bobbi Rebell:
Where can people learn more about you and about your book, Simple Acts: A Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back, and all the other ventures that you're involved with?

Nat Silverstein:
Well, I am on Instagram, simpleacts_guide, so if you look at simpleacts_guide, you'll find me. Facebook, Twitter, also simpleacts_guide. I have a website, simpleactsguide.com, and of course the Gryphon House website. Gryphon House is my publisher, and they have lots of pages of my background, and a little more information about the book, and ways that you can order the book.

Bobbi Rebell:
Awesome. Thank you so much, Natalie, this was amazing.

Nat Silverstein:
Thank you, Bobbi, I really appreciate it.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, friends. When it comes to role models, Natalie is the total package. Here's my take on what she had to say.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial grownup tip number one: family is how you define it. The subtitle of this book is The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back. Just because you don't have young kids, don't let that stop you. Pick up Natalie's book and get going with your family, again, however you define family.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial grownup tip number two: plan ahead for how you are going to interact with people that may be less fortunate than you, and decide in advance, for example, if you are out with a child, maybe your own child, maybe a niece, a nephew, a friend's child, what have you, if you see a homeless person, for example, how are you going to handle it? As Natalie said, that is a personal choice, but in the moment, you might panic and not have the right language, and so if this child asks you about it, it's important that you approach it using the right words. As Natalie pointed out, those words that we use, for example, saying food insecure, or experiencing homelessness, using those kinds of choices, they can really shape the perception of a child when they encounter these very precarious and difficult situations.

Bobbi Rebell:
By the way, for more specific tips, Natalie did stick around and taped a Financial Grownup Guide episode about ways to be a kinder financial grownup, so make sure that you are subscribed, because it's a really special episode, and we will be rolling it out in just a couple of weeks.

Bobbi Rebell:
Big thanks to Natalie Silverstein for really being the ultimate role model and helping us all get one step closer to being financial grownups.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial Grownup with Bobbie Rebell is edited and produced by Steve Stewart, and is a BRK Media production.

Lauren Smith Brody says no to the offer she thought she always wanted
LSB NEW Instagram white border.png

 

Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester turned down a high prestige offer when she realized saying yes would make her feel like a fraud. Then, a surprise turn of events proved the decision was the right one. 

 

In Lauren’s story you will learn:

  • Why she turned down a speaking engagement invitation she really wanted

  • How her entrepreneur philosophy has changed since her book was released

  • How turning down that so-called opportunity led to better ones

In Lauren’s lesson you will learn:

  • How she balances her desire to volunteer with the importance of being paid for your work

  • Her specific strategy to put a price on your time- even when you are volunteering

  • Specific ways parents can evaluate how much time to allocate to different commitments

In Lauren’s money tip you will learn:

  • The specific way she decides what to outsource, and what to do for herself

  • Tips for entrepreneurs on setting up their business

  • How taking the time to learn new skills like setting up a website and putting together presentations, improved her value as an entrepreneur. 

  • What she chose to outsource and the mistakes she made along the way. 

In my take you will learn:

  • Why you need to decide if you are a business, or a hobby. 

  • How to evaluate the true vale of an opportunity, beyond the direct financial benefit

  • Why I am adamant that entrepreneurs must trademark their brands

 

Episode links:

Squarespace

Harvey Karp’s book: The happiest baby on the block

Learn more about Lauren at http://www.thefifthtrimester.com/

Follow Lauren on instagram @thefifthtrimester

Follow Lauren on Twitter @Laurensbrody

Follow Lauren on Facebook @thefifthtrimester

Buy Lauren’s book The Fifth Trimester

In this Financial Grownup podcast episode, Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester turned down a high prestige offer when she realized saying yes would make her feel like a fraud. Then, a surprise turn of events proved the decision was the…

In this Financial Grownup podcast episode, Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester turned down a high prestige offer when she realized saying yes would make her feel like a fraud. Then, a surprise turn of events proved the decision was the right one. You'll also learn the things she decided to outsource and tips for entrepreneurs on setting up their business. #EntrepreneurInspiration #BusinessTips #Author

 
In this Financial Grownup podcast episode, Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester turned down a high prestige offer when she realized saying yes would make her feel like a fraud. Then, a surprise turn of events proved the decision was the…

In this Financial Grownup podcast episode, Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester turned down a high prestige offer when she realized saying yes would make her feel like a fraud. Then, a surprise turn of events proved the decision was the right one. You'll also learn the things she decided to outsource and tips for entrepreneurs on setting up their business. #EntrepreneurInspiration #BusinessTips #Author


Transcription

Lauren S. B.:
I didn't want to get up in front of a room full of women and know that I was sitting up there as a fraud, as someone who wasn't getting paid for this.

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Financial Grownup with me, Certified Financial Planner, Bobbi Rebell. Author of How to Be a Financial Grownup. But you know what? Being a grownup is really hard. Especially when it comes to money. But it's okay. We're going to get there together. I'm going to bring you one money story from a financial grownup, one lesson, and then my take on how you can make it your own. We got this.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, friends. This episode is about saying no when you are not valued. And by being valued, I mean, being paid. My guest is Lauren Smith Brody. She is the Author of the bestseller, The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom's Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby, which just came out in paperback.

Bobbi Rebell:
Lauren is also the founder of The Fifth Trimester Consulting business, which helps parents and businesses create a more family-friendly workplace culture. Lauren is also the former Executive Editor of Glamour magazine, and you've seen her all over the media, including Good Morning America and CNN. Here is Lauren Smith Brody. Lauren Smith Brody, you are a financial grownup. Welcome to the program.

Lauren S. B.:
Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Bobbi Rebell:
We'll talk more about this later, but your book, The Fifth Trimester, is out in paperback this week, so congratulations on that.

Lauren S. B.:
Thank you. It's been a fun year.

Bobbi Rebell:
You've been building The Fifth Trimester into a whole consulting business, which brings us to the story that you are going to share because it has to do with basically running your business, and how that's evolved.

Lauren S. B.:
I have learned so many financials this past year since the hardback launch last spring, I can't even tell you. The story that I wanted to share is about the first big thing I turned down. So this whole year has been about building, as an entrepreneur, my own business, and really having to put a price tag on my time, and on what exposure is actually worth to me, and what things I'm kind of willing to do for free for the good of the community, and the good of my business, and what things are really, I must be paid for. So anyway, I had a big bank. Like think of the biggest name bank you can possibly think of-

Bobbi Rebell:
I have a definite name in my head, but okay. Go on.

Lauren S. B.:
I'm not going to say it. The two came to me this week and it was through someone else. It wasn't actually totally direct, but the conversation got a little muddled along the way, and it turned out that they didn't want to pay me to do a presentation. They wanted me to do a presentation. Didn't want me to pay them, and I'm thinking-

Bobbi Rebell:
Literally free? Not a low pay, just free?

Lauren S. B.:
No, literally, free. And so then it was like, well, maybe they would buy a big quantity of books to give to all of their employees, which at least, sort of makes my soul feel a little better about the situation. And all I want to do is take a big screenshot of their logo, turn it gray, put it on my website, and say, "I spoke here. It's huge. It's worth so much to me." Except then, I found out that actually the event was a client event. They were trying to woo new business and I was basically going to be the hired entertainment, and they weren't going to pay me for it.

Bobbi Rebell:
No, they probably would pay the caterer, right?

Lauren S. B.:
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sure the food would have been really nice. I wouldn't have eaten because I would have been speaking. Anyway, I don't mean to sound bitter. I'm actually not bitter. It made me feel so good to say no to this because it's the bravest I've been about saying no to something. It could have been valuable for me to have that exposure.

Lauren S. B.:
But actually, I didn't want to get up in front of a room full of women. It was going to be women, and talk about things like the pay gap, pay parity, the motherhood penalty, and know that I was sitting up there as a fraud, as someone who wasn't getting paid for this. So it felt good to make that decision and then the big PS is that the very next day, I got two more offers from other big corporations that want me to come and speak. I turned them right over to my speaking agent, she's negotiating it, and I think it's going to go well.

Bobbi Rebell:
And they will pay you.

Lauren S. B.:
And they will pay me because I feel confident enough that if I can say no to X thing, then I can probably say yes to a lot of other really good things.

Bobbi Rebell:
So what is the lesson? I mean, I feel like there's a lot of pressure, especially on moms, to volunteer.

Lauren S. B.:
Yeah.

Bobbi Rebell:
Because so many moms are so qualified, they're organized, they have their act together, and yet, they may not be working to maximize their income in certain years, so there's an expectation. "Well, you have the time. You should volunteer."

Lauren S. B.:
Right.

Bobbi Rebell:
I mean, and that's really what that was. Is you would have been a volunteer for this for-profit event.

Lauren S. B.:
Right, and you know what I love even more than my business, is I love my children, and I love their school, and I love all of the things that I can do for that community, to foster that community for them. And so what I really learned ... I worked in corporate America for many, many, many years in publishing. I worked at Condé Nast. And then so this is my first venture working for myself. This is the first time when I've had the freedom to do a lot of this volunteer work, and I do squeeze it in, in the middle of the day and then I'll end up doing a lot of my work-work in the evenings.

Lauren S. B.:
And so after saying yes to the umpteenth thing that I really did enjoy, I found that I had to kind of in my head, put a price tag on my time, which sounds a little crass. But it's only in my head. I'm not sharing it with anybody else. But it's I need to put a price tag on what is an hour of my volunteer time worth? It is, what sort of satisfaction does it give me? Is it worth X dollars of my day to miss this much work to be able to enjoy this much pleasure? Is it something that I'm doing with my kids? Is it something that will directly benefit them? Or, is it more of a sort of like status thing in the school, which is worth less to me, frankly, because it just doesn't feel genuine.

Bobbi Rebell:
But sometimes we feel obligated.

Lauren S. B.:
Yes, we do feel obligated. And it's okay, like when you're part of a community, you do have an obligation sometimes to be a part of it, but it's helped me. If I put a dollar amount on an hour of my time, both for work and for volunteering, and that has made me make a lot of decisions a lot more clearly and easily about whether I say yes or no to things.

Bobbi Rebell:
I want you to share a personal money tip, and I know the one that you've brought has to do with being an entrepreneur, and things that you have learned in terms of what you want to do yourself and what you outsource, and how to do that. How to decide.

Lauren S. B.:
Yes, there are so many mothers who are very, very, very good at outsourcing absolutely everything that is not something they're naturally good at. That's not me. I'm one of these people who would rather just do it all myself. Well, there's diminishing returns very often on that, and it comes back to what is an hour of my time worth? So when I was putting together my website, thank God there's Squarespace, and there's actually things that make it sort of intuitive and easier, but I have never done that before. I'm not even joking.

Lauren S. B.:
This is embarrassing to admit in a podcast. I had never made my own PowerPoint. I always had a staff of designers and assistants. I would tell them what to write and do and they would animate me this gorgeous PowerPoint. Well, those are two things I actually decided to do myself because I knew that in doing them, I would gain the confidence I needed to do a lot of other things. I had a little bit of a chip on my shoulder about having worked in print magazines and not so much in digital.

Lauren S. B.:
Now I feel I've built a website, I've built an online community, I have built a social network. I feel very digitally savvy, and I've grown that all myself, and that started with actually spending three days struggling through Squarespace, trying to figure out how to size pictures, and how to line things up, and how to communicate to an audience, really more than anything. So that was really valuable to me.

Lauren S. B.:
On the other hand, what I did spend my money on was trademarking my company name, The Fifth Trimester, which ended up, has been ... I am so grateful there have been probably a dozen moments over the last dozen months when I have been so glad that I own that trademark. It is now something I can license. It is actually worth something to me.

Lauren S. B.:
I actually expanded the trademark to several other categories a few months ago, so that if I want to claim it in many other ways, I can. And that is definitely something I couldn't have done myself. I actually initially signed on for one of those online legal websites, and I realized I didn't know what I was doing, and I ended up hiring a real lawyer to really do it for me.

Bobbi Rebell:
Yes, I actually did the same thing with Financial Grownup, and it gives me a lot of security because I knew when I went to do the podcast, I had the audio rights to it, and I wouldn't have a problem. I think that legal money when you're not a lawyer, is definitely money well spent. You want to be protected because you're building this business, so for entrepreneurs, spend money on the right things. So speaking of The Fifth Trimester, so as I mentioned at the beginning, it's paperback week. Congratulations.

Lauren S. B.:
Yeah, thank you. Thanks.

Bobbi Rebell:
This has been quite a journey. First of all, it's been a bestseller. I love seeing it on the shelf in Barnes & Noble in my neighborhood, which is really nice. It's usually in a beautiful display because people love this book.

Lauren S. B.:
Oh, thank you.

Bobbi Rebell:
It's really resonated with so many people. I wish it was there when I had my son, 10 years ago, because I would have felt so much better having a guide going back to work.

Lauren S. B.:
It is the book I needed. It's the resource I needed. When I was pregnant, during my first three trimesters, of course, I had Baby Center to tell me when my fetus was the size of a kumquat, and when he was the size of a cucumber, and then he was ready to be born. Then I learned about something called The Fourth Trimester, which was the newborn phase because the idea is that human babies are actually born a whole trimester too early. So to soothe a newborn, you recreate the feeling of the womb-

Bobbi Rebell:
Right, we swaddle.

Lauren S. B.:
Yeah, so we swaddle. Exactly. Swaddle, we shush, we swing, all of those S verbs. It's the Harvey Karp idea. Then when I got back to work, all that support sort of fell off. I have to tell you, I was working in a fairly supportive industry, surrounded by women who were very comfortable talking about things like breastfeeding. I had a supportive spouse. We had enough money in the bank that I could take a few weeks of my leave unpaid. I did have to back after 12 weeks, which to me, was not quite enough. But it's what I needed to maintain my job.

Lauren S. B.:
And yet still, I just felt like there was nothing out there to support me. I ended up, years later, I had the idea that this was transition, that I had gotten through essentially another trimester. This one was for the Working Mom, and I had colleagues who said to me, younger colleagues who weren't in this phase of life yet who said, "Thank you for being so honest and transparent about what's hard here, because ..." And I thought, "Oh, gosh. Have I been unprofessional?" And they were like, they went on to say, "Because you've shown me I can do it one day, too. You've shown me that it's hard, and that I will still get through it, and it will be okay."

Lauren S. B.:
That was really a eureka moment for me, when I realized that my next goal in the next phase of my career was going to be support new parents in this transition back to work.

Bobbi Rebell:
And it's more than a book now.

Lauren S. B.:
It is, yes. It's a movement. For the book, I interviewed hundreds and hundreds of new working moms to figure out what worked for them, and they've become this sort of working, collective working mom mentor for anybody going through it. But what I found is that in speaking, I go into companies and I help them make, not just better policies, but actually better culture so that even if they have good policies, a lot of these, especially the big tech companies, the big law firms.

Lauren S. B.:
People feel like they can't use what's available to them. This actually lets them change the culture, lets them use what's theirs, sort of equalizes things between moms and dads, and people who don't have children, and may never have children. To make things fair for really anyone with a personal life in the workplace.

Lauren S. B.:
So I've been in, I'm going into Google next week. I'm going to AmEx. I've been to Facebook. I've done a ton of big law firms. It has been so fulfilling and the room is full of not just new moms, or expectant moms, but also the managers who really want to support them. And that is, we are in a groundswell movement for women's rights in the workplace and it has been a good moment to be here.

Bobbi Rebell:
Well, we are lucky to have you leading the charge there. Tell us where people can find you.

Lauren S. B.:
Oh, absolutely. So I'm all over Instagram. Too much, it's-

Bobbi Rebell:
I love your Instagram.

Lauren S. B.:
Oh, thank you. I'm having so much fun with stories in the new font. And again, like that's because I made my own website, that I feel confident that. And then on Facebook, it is The Fifth Trimester. On Twitter, I'm @LaurenSBrody. Lauren Smith Brody. Lauren S. Brody.

Bobbi Rebell:
Here's my take on what Lauren had to say. First of all, Financial Grownup tip number one. Are you a business or an expensive hobby? You cannot be afraid to say no to something if it does not benefit your business if you are running a business. In some cases, you may say, "You know what? I do want that logo on my website. I don't like the deal, but the logo on my website does present enough value to me that this time, I am going to say yes." That's okay, but realize you have set a low and, frankly, unsustainable price point.

Bobbi Rebell:
You will never make a profit if you don't get paid. There will come a time when you have to say no to free. Or, like I said, "You just have an expensive hobby." If a for-profit company is running a marketing event to bring in clients to benefit their business, and they don't have a budget for speakers, it is because they made a choice when they created that budget. It's just not something that they value. So think, "Are these people that you want to be in business with? And, will you feel good about being there?"

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial Grownup tip number two. Lauren also talked about trademarking. If you are investing your time in a new venture, make sure you protect it. And frankly, make sure you're not violating some else's trademark. This is serious stuff. If you are not a lawyer, and I should say a lawyer that specializes in this, get a pro. Get the right lawyer for this. Don't mess around. The last thing you want is to devote your limited time and resources to something, only to have someone swoop in, and benefit from the brand value that you have created.

Bobbi Rebell:
All right. Thank you all for all of your support and feedback. I truly appreciate everyone who has subscribed, rated, and reviewed the podcast. If you're listening and you haven't subscribed yet, it's free. Hit that subscribe button. Of course, please follow me on social media @BobbiRebell on Twitter, and at BobbiRebell1 on Instagram, and go to my website. Sign up for my newsletter so I can keep you posted on everything going on with the show and other projects.

Bobbi Rebell:
I hope you enjoyed Lauren's story and that we all got one step closer to being Financial Grownups. Financial Grownup with Bobbi Rebell is edited and produced by Steve Stewart and is a BRK Media production.