The best new money books for Financial Grownups.

May 2019 Edition.

Once a month we feature a handful of books by authors that have appeared on the financial grownup podcast and share with you some of the reasons I chose to have the authors on the show. My promise is to be candid about how you can decide if the book is the best selection for your time and goals. For example,   Dig your Heels in by Joan Kuhl. While it has the most amazing strategies for staying in the corporate workforce, if you are in full startup mode or already feeling pretty solid in your entrepreneurial ventures, it maybe not the best investment of your reading time. 

Some ground rules:

There will be only positive comments. Because why waste your time telling you about something I don’t think is worth your time. 

Also - we limit our selections to books written by authors that appear on the podcast. In most cases they will have already appeared- so you can then go back and listen to their episode if you want to learn more. Occasionally, the episode will be in the future - so hopefully you will subscribe so you don’t miss it. 

Here are 3 books (+ a bonus book) I truly enjoyed in the past month!

Book #1

Let’s start with the one with one that is by Erin Lowry, whose brand “Broke Millennial’ no longer applies to her- and actually for those who follow her- never really did if we are being honest. She’s always been pretty money conscious. 

Here are three things I liked about her new book Broke Millennial takes on Investing. A beginner’s guide to leveling up your money. 

• There is no attitude. Erin takes ownership of the fact that her readers literally may know nothing about investing and will take her explanations down to the most basic level. The things we all pretend to know because we think we should. So for example, when she explains what asset allocation is, she uses the term risk tolerance but then takes the time to explain what that is. 

• She owns the fact that she is the writer- and not always the expert- so she seeks out experts including Jen Barrett from Acorns, Certified Financial Planner Doug Boneparth and Jill Schlesinger- the latter two have been on this podcast- and yes we’ll have links to them and their books in the shownotes as well.

• And finally- Erin gets personal about the financial grownup lessons she learned from her parents- and very specific. For example, her dad declared at age 24 that he wanted to be a millionaire by age 40. Did he? You probably guessed correctly but read the book to confirm.

Who should read this book:

Anyone who hears about investing and is curious but doesn’t know where to start, as well as beginners who want to get a better handle on what they are doing, and a little validation along the way.

Book #2. 

Dig Your Heels In. Navigate Corporate BS and Build the Company You Deserve by Joan Kuhl.

This is just what it sounds like- it’s about finding a way to stay in a corporate job when you really want to tell them to go to you know where. 

Here’s what I liked about it:

• Her strategist are specific and laid out for the reader- but there is also no bs that you have to do the work. For example, she talks about different ways to achieve goals. And is honest that you have to figure out who has the power to get you to that goal. But you have to do the work to seek out those people and find a way to get them to advocate for you. There are solutions here but no easy fix. She’s just being honest.

• There are some big revelations that I had no idea about- things like how opportunities and promotions are really decided behind closed doors that you think you know but you don’t. Like pre-gaming for reviews. Read the book. Joan has secrets.

• She did a lot of legwork and has interviewed an unbelievable number of high level women and men so there is propriety research in this book. Specific first person stories of how the most successful people make it work and yes, dig their heels in. 

Who should read this book?

I’m going to say both genders, but the truth is Kuhl is speaking primarily to women.. in large part because more women quit the corporate workforce in droves to deal with the demands of family- and these days they often start their own thing. But for women who would like to find a way to work things out, this is the best thing ever. As I said when Joan was on the podcast, I wish I had this book when I was at Thomson Reuters as a tv anchor and trying to balance my family life. 

Book #3:

An Economist Walks into a Brothel and other Unexpected Places to Understand Risk by economist Allison Schrager who is also with Quartz. 

Here’s what I liked about it:

• If we are being honest, the title. I mean- I love that Allison Schrager had the guts to just put it out there there is definitely a shock value to this book.  

• The fascinating different stories illustrating risk and reward in industries from surfing to paparazzi to the movie business.. and of course the brother. You learn economics- but you also learn a lot of behind the scenes dirt about these very cool niche businesses.

• The author has a real point of view. She takes a stand. For examples, Schrager gives us permission- and justification to NOT take risks that don’t make sense. “Taking more risk than necessary is inefficient.” 

Who is this book for?

People whose eyes glaze over when someone starts talking economics and risk. In a way- It’s for the nerds that haven’t yet come to terms with their nerdiness.. we’re turned off by insider jargon and boring explanations-  but secretly really do want to know all the data- just in a really fun and accessible way. This book is story telling at it’s finest. 

Bonus Book (because technically it is not a money book):

Travel Anywhere and Avoid Being a Tourist by financial grownup guest Pavia Rosati and her Fathom co-founder Jeralyn Gerba

The authors met as editors at Daily Candy and then later teamed up to launch the travel platform Fathom. It is an editorial website and so much more. You can find digital guides- as well as help planning your travel through their concierge service which I have personally used and loved when I went to Iceland.

Here’s what I liked about the book:

• I love it for all the reasons you should not read it on a kindle! This is just a beautiful book to just experience. Stunning photos and a beautiful layout and sharp focused writing. 

• There are actual money saving tips - like hostels where you feel like you are staying at a boutique hotel, and a nice little travel hacks section with tips like how much to invest in a top of the line suitcase, what to check on your data plan before you go and knowing your auto insurance coverage in advance. Doing these things can potentially save you a ton of money.

• The Digital Nomads chapter. Because although in theory we talk a lot about shutting off all the electronics when we travel, sometimes it’s just really nice not to be judged when we choose not to. Put another way- what if you get to travel because your work is portable- not everyone with a laptop on a beach is a slave to their job- it could be quite the opposite. 

Who is this book for:

People that already travel a lot and are looking for fresh perspectives, and those who want to travel but just don’t know where to get started.I personally can feel overwhelmed and so fearful of making a mistake that I can’t even get started.  And of course it’s great If you just want to look at beautiful pictures and learn about all the world has to offer- even if it’s not on your calendar in the immediate future. This book can just be for the love of relaxing with a special book. I’m not giving away my copy any time soon. 

Episode Links:

• Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

• Erin Lowry’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Broke Millennial takes on Investing

• Joan Kuhl’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Dig Your Heels In

• Allison Schrager’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of An Economist Walks into a Brothel

• Pavia Rosati’s Financial Grownup episode + Get your copy of Travel Anywhere and Avoid Being a Tourist

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

A story pitch led economist Allison Schrager to conquer her own negotiating fears by learning from the economically savvy workers at a Nevada brothel. The experience led her to investigate the most compelling and successful approaches to negotiation, reducing risk and increasing the chances of success. 

“My new life philosophy is you should hear no at least 60% of the time and if not you haven’t asked for enough”

In Allison's money story you will learn:

Well, this is actually what brought me to the brothel initially. When I had a relationship with them is they called me wanting me to write about them and I was like, "I don't know about this." They were ... I'm like, "But, tell me about the industry" and they're like, "Well, you know. All the women are independent contractors and we have no set prices. They negotiate every transaction." I was like-

Bobbi Rebell:
These are the legal ones in Nevada?

Allison S.:
Yes.

Bobbi Rebell:
To be clear.

Allison S.:
Yes. This is the legal brothels in Nevada. They're all 1099 employees. I was like, "Well, that's interesting. So, you're telling me, you've got women in their early 20s negotiating with men in their 60s over tens of thousands of dollars?" And they're like, "Why, yes. And it's interesting, no one's ever asked us about that before. You know, then a lot of them come here, not knowing their value so we train them so they know how to be better negotiators and ask for more."

Allison S.:
Now, this is something I struggle with. I'm terrible at negotiating. Nothing freaks me out more and fills me with more anxiety, or at least used to, than asking for money. I am just-

Bobbi Rebell:
Oh, I think all of us.

Allison S.:
All of us. I've always probably been underpaid for this reason. Off I went to Nevada and I spent about a week and a half there learning negotiation skills and it changed my life. Particularly, Dennis Hof when he was alive, was there. He told me something about negotiation that just really changed my outlook for money and for everything, which is you have to get comfortable with "No" because you have to hear "No" more than you hear "Yes" because that's how you know you're asking for enough.

Bobbi Rebell:
I think that's really smart. What's interesting that these women that are in the legal part of the industry do get triple, I think what the ones that are outside of the legal. There's a reason for that is because they're paying to lower their risk, which I think is fascinating.

Allison S.:
Yeah. Just like any market, you pay for safety. Brothel customers pay this 300% markup for transaction that affectively their "No's" going to have no consequence. They're not going to get arrested. No one's going to blackmail them. She's not going to be on the news. They know if she's been screened for diseases. If a customer want ... men and women want that kind of service, then there's somewhere they can go and know they can get at risk-free but they have to pay for it.

Bobbi Rebell:
Did you take those lessons and actually use them in your own life?

Allison S.:
Oh, yeah. Especially one. I learned how to asked for more and feel comfortable hearing "No." My new life philosophy is you should hear "No's" at least 60% of the time and if not, you haven't asked for enough. Also, I also learned these techniques of how to feel more comfortable hearing "No" because it's like a risk, like anything. And that, if you go into a negotiation, it's a risk. It could blow up and you'll destroy your relationship. This is a big concern. The two people negotiating in a brothel, they're about to do something very intimate but they have to argue about money before. It's sort of like your job negotiation on steroids, in terms of tension.

Allison S.:
What they do is they do something you do in finance too, which is there's a lot of hedging. There's a lot of maintaining some sort of form of liquidity, which is you don't just say ... Salary negotiation like, "Double my salary or I'm going to quit." You're just like, "Well, hey. I would like this much more money but if that's not realistic, I could take more vacation days." What you do is you offer this menu of options, which promotes flexibility for both sides and that increases the odds you're going to have a more successful transaction.

Bobbi Rebell:
How did you ... When you then ... Are there specific ways that you then implemented these negotiations strategies in your life since then?

Allison S.:
Oh, yeah. I'm now very comfortable hearing "No." Certainly in terms of writing the book and asking for the resources I needed from both the publisher and from friends helping me promote it. I'm now very comfortable with making these ballsy asks I would've never done before.

Bobbi Rebell:
Can you give an example of one that you asked for that was success? And maybe one that wasn't successful.

Allison S.:
I think it's certainly in terms of asking corporations to do bulk sales. That was just something I would've never asked for before. Now I feel comfortable with it. But, sometimes more often than not, I am being told "No." It still stings a little but then I sort of tell myself, "You asked for enough because you heard no."

Bobbi Rebell:
That's a good thing to remember because ultimately, in other words, you want to hear "Yes" but if you hear a "Yes" right away, that in a way makes you feel, "Well, maybe I didn't ask for enough." I think that's something people need to keep in mind

“Nothing freaks me out and fills me with more anxiety,.. than asking for money”

In Allison’s money lesson you will learn:

I basically said it. It's okay to hear "No." The world doesn't end. It doesn't destroy your relationship. If you don't hear "No," you're not getting enough.

Bobbi Rebell:
How do you recover from the "No?"

Allison S.:
Well, now as I said, it still stings. I sit there-

Bobbi Rebell:
But, can you just go back with your tail between your legs and be like, "Okay. I know you said no to that. Can you do this?" Or do you have to just walk? You just have to save face and be like, "Then I'm not going to do it."

Allison S.:
You come back with another alternative because most transactions aren't binary. It's not like you'll do this or it's not happened. There's maybe a third way. I become more of this school if you ask for the sun, maybe you'll get the moon.

Bobbi Rebell:
Right. Maybe when you originally approach a negotiation, you make sure to not make it binary and not create absolutes. So, that starts at the beginning is giving yourself a way to circle back if you don't get the answer that you want.

Allison S.:
Exactly. What they do in the brothel is customer's a little nervous and they'll lay out like, "Hey. What do you think that they'll do?" He'll be like, "I don't know. I've never been here" and they'll be like, "All right. Here's what I think I should do." They'll lay out this elaborate sexual plan. It involves going to the movies, and dinner, and it's 12 hours. The guy will be like, "That's amazing" and then they'll be like, "Great. That'll be $15000." Then he's like, "Whoa, no" and then they're like, "All right. Well, maybe we can take dinner off the table."

Allison S.:
What you do is you have this big hairy ask but then there's components to it and you take it apart so no one's really ever heard "No." But, you have this whole ... It's actually a menu of choices.

Bobbi Rebell:
Interesting. Any specifics that you think people could use when they are applying it to their own life?

Allison S.:
Yeah. I mean, if you're ... Like I said, if you're negotiating for your salary, as I said, it doesn't have to be all monetary compensation. You could talk about flexible hours. You can talk about more vacation days. Or, as I said, even if you're asking a friend for a favor like they're going to promote your book. You can ask them to email everyone in their company and they'll probably say "No" because that's a little ballsy but maybe they'll share it on Facebook and it's something.

“If you ask for the sun, maybe you will get the moon”

In Allison's everyday money tip you will learn:

Risk is the cost of getting what you want. You don't want to take anymore than necessary. Diversification has been proven in finance as it gets rid of unnecessary risks but not all risk. That doesn't just apply to financial markets. It could apply to anything. It could be if you're in a job doing gig or contract work on the side if possible. So, you have that option. It could be keeping your network fresh, so you have other options if that job doesn't work out or you want a new skill. Or, it could even be with dating. I actually re-read the rules when I was doing the book because I keep [inaudible 00:10:47]. I was like-

Bobbi Rebell:
Well, the book you're referring to is a book from years ago when two women wrote about these very harsh ... They sort of sound old fashion rules but they're almost playing hard to get, I guess. But, go on.

Allison S.:
Yeah. It's a much better book than you remember. But, one of their tips is don't be exclusive with someone until that you really know they're serious about you. I mean, they actually marry you but-

Bobbi Rebell:
Diversification then, in dating? Affectively. Yeah.

Allison S.:
It is and it really does bring out your best self. It really is efficient in some ways because it keeps you from getting invested in the wrong person. They could be a jerk and you don't know that yet because you don't really know who they are. It also makes you feel more desirable and attractive so really can be your best selves. Diversification really applies to anything.

Financial Grownup tip number one:

Think about the things you can do to increase your odds of success in a negotiation. Allison talks about creating a menu of options asking for the most first but offering the other party at least something that they can give you to make it a win at some level. Think about a wine list at a restaurant. A lot of people pick the second cheapest one for a reason. The restaurant knows this and in many cases, they can actually build in the biggest profit margin because they know that's where everyone's going to gravitate towards.

Financial Grownup tip number two:

Try to identify things you do that increase your risk. In the book, for example, Allison talks about how poker champions with stacks of money on the line have to factor in their irrational behavior as the stakes get higher. What do you do that is economically irrational? Shopping for food on an empty stomach. Yeah, that's me. Buying things because they're on sale. Me too. You get the idea. And let me know. DM me with your biggest irrational economic decisions. I would to hear and share with the community so we can all be a little bit more aware, and maybe we can come up with some ways to help.

Episode Links:

Allisons book An Economist Walks into a Brothel

Check out Allison's website -

www.AllisonSchrager.com

Follow Allison!

• Instagram - @AllisonSchrager

• Twitter - @AllisonSchrager

• Facebook - @Allison.Schrager

• LinkedIn

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.