Transcription
Tori Dunlap:
She just looked at me and she goes, "Are you leaving or are you staying?" And so I said, "I think it's best for both you and I if I were to move on," and she goes, "Great, your last day will be tomorrow." And I felt panicked.
Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Financial Grownup, with me, certified financial planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of How to Be a Financial Grownup, and you know what? Being a grownup is really hard, especially when it comes to money. But it's okay, we're gonna get there together. I'm gonna bring you one money story from a financial grownup, one lesson, and then my take on how you can make it your own. We got this.
Bobbi Rebell:
Hey Financial Grownup friends, so given that you're choosing to listen to a money podcast, you probably have an emergency fund, or you know that you should have one, and hopefully are working on building one up. I'll be honest, my family's goes up and down. It's not always where I want it to be, but this story, shared with us by Victori Media's Tori Dunlap, is going to lock into your mind why so many financial experts go on and on and on and on about that darn emergency fund. Special welcome to our new listeners, so glad you found us and that you are here and to our regulars, we appreciate your support, you're everything to us, so please continue to listen to the show and to support it by telling friends that you think deserve to live a richer life. Maybe do a quick screenshot and post it on social media, make sure you tag me at Bobbi Rebell on Twitter, at Bobbi Rebell one on Instagram, so I can thank you and on that note to our inspiring guest, Tori Dunlap.
Bobbi Rebell:
She is the force behind a new blog, Victori Media, which focuses on career and personal advice for millennials that, as you will hear, is already drawing a lot of attention because it's just really good. Here is Tori Dunlap.
Bobbi Rebell:
Hey Tori Dunlap, you're a financial grownup, welcome to the podcast!
Tori Dunlap:
Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Bobbi Rebell:
You came to my attention because you have been nominated at the only awards that count, of course, the [inaudible 00:02:10] awards, as best new blog and then I was checking out your blog and I had to have you on the podcast. So thank you for being here.
Tori Dunlap:
It's been so awesome. This is my first spin con, and obviously my first nomination, my first kind of finalist opportunity, so yeah, I'm just over the moon, thrilled.
Bobbi Rebell:
We are joined, because I am of course honored that this podcast was nominated as best new podcast, so we'll be up there with the newbies the two of us, hanging out I think. Woo hoo.
Tori Dunlap:
It'll be great.
Bobbi Rebell:
Alright. You brought with you a money story that I found a little bit shocking, but maybe it's not as unusual in the millennial world, I'm a gen X-er. But maybe it's not that unusual because you kinda just went with your gut. Tell us, Tori.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah, so I took a job for the money and ended up regretting it very very hard.
Bobbi Rebell:
Let me just interject one thing though, a lot of the time jobs are about money. You should take a job that pays enough money. It shouldn't be just about the money, but money does matter.
Tori Dunlap:
Oh totally. Yeah. I mean if jobs didn't pay us money we wouldn't show up.
Bobbi Rebell:
Exactly, so it's okay to take jobs for the money but clearly there was something else going on that didn't work.
Tori Dunlap:
Totally, yeah, so I was looking to get out of my first job right out of school and I realized I wasn't growing, I wasn't learning anything. I wasn't feeling challenged in the way that I wanted to.
Bobbi Rebell:
What kind of job was it? What were you doing?
Tori Dunlap:
I worked ... I actually ended up leading digital marketing and communication for this global security company, so my job right outta college, I was the only marketing, communication, or PR person for this 5000 employee company. So it was really crazy and I just knew being kind of this team of one, there wasn't a lot of growth trajectory for me there. So after about a year and a half I knew it was time to leave and I got approached by this recruiter who told me this job that sounded perfect on paper. It was a digital marketing manager role, which is what I know, what I'm good at, what I love.
Tori Dunlap:
I came in to interview and something in my gut just didn't feel right, the office was like half office half showroom. Everybody there, they weren't really talking to each other, there was only about 12 people in the office. But I'm a really social person so that was kind of a red flag for me, but I went in and interviewed anyway and I interviewed with the woman who was to be my boss and she was the CEO of the company. Within about 10 minutes of that interview she offered me the job on the spot, which again was kind of a red flag, I'm like, I know I'm awesome but don't you wanna ask me more questions?
Bobbi Rebell:
Were they desperate? What was going on?
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah, that was definitely what it was and so I didn't know this at the time, but the position had been open for about seven months. So they were really looking to find somebody. She asked me what my salary range was, and I knew in order to make a leap from my previous job, where I had just received a 20% raise, I knew it was going to have to be another jump up, so I asked for 20% more than what I was already making, expecting it was going to be a negotiation, expecting she'd counter. And she just agreed, and she said, "Well this is 20 thousand more than we paid the last person, but we really like you and we really want you to jump on board."
Bobbi Rebell:
Which is really flattering.
Tori Dunlap:
Oh so flattering, especially for me, and a lot of us struggle, especially-
Bobbi Rebell:
How old were you?
Tori Dunlap:
I was 23.
Bobbi Rebell:
Wow.
Tori Dunlap:
A lot of young women, especially when you suffer from imposter syndrome, and so it was something that was validating but also scary and also just overwhelming and exciting. I went home and I talked it over with my daily who I'm really close to and close friends and I couldn't put my finger on why, just my gut was telling me, no this is not for you. You're not gonna be happy here, this is not the environment that you will thrive in.
Tori Dunlap:
But I saw dollar signs and I couldn't say no. So I ended up accepting the job. Went in, by day two I knew it wasn't going to be a right fit. I ended up leaving the office, calling my mom and saying, "Hey mom, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this." And like all good moms do, she's like, "Stick it out, it'll get better, it'll be fine." It ended up just being a really really unhealthy work environment. I had really negative interactions with my boss, I was crying myself to sleep at night, I was scared I was going to be fired. I was tasked with these really demanding, overwhelming workload that wasn't feasible for one person to do. I wasn't happy. I wasn't healthy, I wasn't thriving, I wasn't feeling fulfilled at all.
Bobbi Rebell:
This is a lot more than just not being fulfilled. This is really, this is your life. You can't be in that kind of situation.
Tori Dunlap:
And I knew in my gut the entire time, my gut was telling me, "This is not for you. This is not for you. This is not what you want. This is not where you should be." And I didn't listen because I was dreaming about how much I was going to be able to save for retirement and like a New Zealand vacation I was going to be able to take and all these things. So I ended up having to quit that job. Basically because it was so unhealthy after about two and a half months without another job lined up, which is the ultimate personal-
Bobbi Rebell:
Tell me about quitting. How did you quit?
Tori Dunlap:
She was kind of pushing me out. So I knew if I didn't quit first it wasn't gonna be good, it was gonna be pretty ugly and I didn't wanna go through that. So I had this huge project that I wasn't trained on, I ended up finishing it even though she was kinda rooting against me, which was a horrible feeling and had the project finished by 8:30 am on a Thursday. I went into her office an hour and a half later, and she just looked at me and she goes, "Are you leaving or are you staying?"
Bobbi Rebell:
She knew. She knew. Wow.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. So I said, "I think it's best for both you and I if I were to move on," and she goes, "Great. Your last day will be tomorrow." I felt panicked talking to my family. My parents, of course, were really worried. I'm an only child, so they're very involved in my life and especially my finances and so they were really worried for me. I knew it was the right decision and I felt so much relief when I walked out of there at three o'clock on a Friday.
Tori Dunlap:
Even though I didn't have a job I luckily had an emergency fund, which is something that I really advocate for. I had enough money that I could survive while I found a new job, but I felt such relief being able to be happy and just leave and to not have to worry anymore.
Bobbi Rebell:
Well, I'm happy that you had the strength to do that because it is a brave thing. And it's scary. What is the takeaway for our listeners?
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah, I would say trust your gut first off. Just understand that, of course, a job at the end of the day is about making an income but it's also where you spend eight plus hours of your day for five days a week around people you hopefully like and respect and with a manager who hopefully likes and respects you and vice versa. So make sure you're trusting your gut in any sort of situation, but especially through a job application and a job interview process.
Tori Dunlap:
And second, make sure you have an emergency fund, whether it's needing to get out of a bad situation in a job or needing to leave a partner who you live with or anything that is an emergency, you getting unexpectedly ill or you get a flat tire, having an emergency fund is so important to be able to give you the freedom to make decisions that you wouldn't be able to if you didn't have one.
Bobbi Rebell:
Let's talk about your everyday money tip because it's perfect for people that love to travel and travel well. Because part of growing up is not always having to stay at the youth hostel or the budget hotel, whatever. Sometimes you're ready to be in the grownup hotel.
Tori Dunlap:
We're gonna go in a completely different direction here. Much more positive and exciting.
Bobbi Rebell:
Much more positive.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. But one of my favorite money tips that a lot of people don't realize is, you and I were both talking before, we really like luxury boutique hotels, for me they're just a great way to see a new city or to just get a different perspective from a chain hotel. But they're often expensive and people often use third party sites like Expedia or orbits to book on. And that's great, but usually what happens is they actually don't give you the best rate, and that surprises a lot of people. So if you go to the hotel's website or if you call them directly, they usually offer you a discount or some sort of perk, like free valet parking or a free breakfast because you're booking directly with them.
Bobbi Rebell:
Because they pay those sites a commission, they have an incentive to have you book directly.
Tori Dunlap:
Totally. And you're supporting the local business in a way that you aren't if you're booking with Expedia or one of those other sites. So that's a really fantastic way to support that city, support that local business, and to also, hopefully, get a perk out of it as well.
Tori Dunlap:
And if something were to happen as far as needing to change your booking or an emergency comes up, the hotel itself is a lot more flexible. If you try to call Expedia you're waiting on hold forever and they're usually more stringent with their cancellation policies so you're not the hotel's customer until you're actually in the hotel if you book with one of those third party sites. So booking directly just makes the whole process way easier and then hopefully saves you money or gives you some sort of perk as well.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah, that's really interesting that the hotel doesn't really engage with you until you're there if you book through the third party systems. I never really thought about it like that, but it makes a lot of sense.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah, it's a great tip.
Bobbi Rebell:
Alright, so I am new to your blog, but I am also getting a little bit obsessed with it. Some of the headlines, just for people to know, alright, Five Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome, so relatable, Four Lessons I Learned From Rap Songs, not relatable 'cause I don't listen to rap but definitely got me curious. And then I think my favorite one on there was 17 Ways to Be Productive at Work When You Have Nothing to do, 'cause this happened. One of my jobs early in my career I tend to be a bit of a workaholic and sometimes my coworkers don't have the same enthusiasm for their jobs and I would finish a story early and wanna just do more stories, just because. And my coworkers didn't wanna do that. So I would be left sitting there, kind of lost, because I wanted to do more stuff. So tell me more about that article and maybe some of your other favorite ones, and the blog in general.
Tori Dunlap:
I write about personal finance and career for millennial women, a lot of the blog content that you see is written by me, and I also bring in different voices so actually most of the articles you listed were some of my really great female friends who are also writing about career and finance and so I really try and bring in different perspectives too so it's not just me droning on and on. But I love talking about negotiation so I have some negotiating posts on there, like exact scripts to use when you're calling third party sites, kind of like we mentioned or when you're negotiating a cable bill or a phone bill, the exact script to use, that's something I really love doing.
Tori Dunlap:
Summer's over now, but it's good all year round, I just wrote a post about financial to dos that you can complete over the summer. So give yourself a three month period and they're really easy, really actionable as far as checking them off as you go, and then yeah, I just sourced one of my favorite articles that I've written recently, I sourced from Rockstar Finance, just a bunch of different texts from people about a way to manage your finances in under 10 minutes. So again, super actionable, easy to do and that was inspired by a post I myself wrote about 11 ways to better your finances in under five minutes, so especially for us millennials, if your finances are sort of out of control or it seems overwhelming, it's hard to get started. It's hard to start chipping away at that iceberg. But these small little things that you can do that take no more than five 10 minutes a day is a great way to get started.
Bobbi Rebell:
By the way, Rockstar Finance is another great website. So alright, so tell us more about where to find out ... where to find the blog and where to follow you on all the socials.
Tori Dunlap:
Yeah. So my name is Tori so Victori Media is spelled with an I, V-I-C-T-O-R-I media.com and you can connect with me there. Find all the blog content as well as all the social media accounts are liked to Victori Media, so I'd love to have you stop by.
Bobbi Rebell:
Thank you Tori!
Tori Dunlap:
Thank you so much for having me Bobbi.
Bobbi Rebell:
Hey everyone. Let's talk about emergency funds, and if you don't have the cash to fund the three to six months many experts recommend, what do you do? Financial Grownup tip number one, if you don't have the cash for an emergency fund needed and want to make sure you have access to cash at a reasonable interest rate homeowners can get something called a heloc, that's a home equity line of credit, now you have to take this out before you need it. That's the key thing, but it will give you a financial life line if needed. And except for any fees to set it up, if you don't use it you're not paying interest, so it can just be there if and when you need it, and hopefully that'll be never.
Bobbi Rebell:
Financial grownup tip number two, Tori talked about booking hotels directly with the actual hotel, I've recently started deliberately booking flights directly with airlines. I do my research and I google flights, and third party services like Expedia, but I actually try to book directly on the airlines that way if a change is needed or there are changes in weather, what have you, I found the airline is better able to help you if you're in their system directly. In general, unless a third party middle man is bringing you real value, there's no real downside to cutting them out.
Bobbi Rebell:
Alright thanks to all of you that have subscribed. The show is free to you. But for us, to keep at it, we do need your support, so please do all the things, subscribe, rate, review, and most of all, let people know about us by recommending to friends. And if you haven't read my book, How to Be a Financial Grownup, it just got more affordable because it just came out in paperback, so please check it out. And while you're at it, tell your friends to check out Victori Media, and thanks to Tori Dunlap for helping us all get one step closer to being financial grownups.
Bobbi Rebell:
Financial Grownup with Bobbi Rebell is edited and produced by Steve Stuart and is a BRK media production.
