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Full Transcript:
Bobbi Rebell:
I'm thinking a lot these days about financial anxiety and how much we all just want to feel secure about the future for us and, of course, for the people that we love. There's a saying, "You are never happier than your most unhappy child." And I would expand that to your most unhappy person you care about. I want everyone who hears this to be able to give the next generation the gift of financial security and the freedom that comes with it. That's why I wrote Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Money Smart. I'm excited to share with all of you and I hope it can help put all generations of your family on the path to reaching all of your financial goals and dreams. Order your copy of Launching Financial Grownups today. And thank you for your support.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
It was this moment where as a financial adult in a different stage, I was very frugal. I wanted to reach these money goals. There's this point where it's like, "When do I want to invest in something that will really benefit my happiness?" And it's not a cheap thing to get a babysitter every single week. But it's something that we did, an investment we made, and it has been so incredible. So that was a conscious lifestyle upgrade I made versus allowing like expenses to creep in.
Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Money Tips for Financial Grownups, with me certified financial planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of How to Be a Financial Grownup. And you know what? When it comes to money being a grownup is hard, but together we've got this.
Bobbi Rebell:
Grownups, as I say, in the intro, being a grownup is hard. But you know what? There's so much great stuff that comes with being a grownup as well. And with, for example, we're going to talk about this, having a little more spending power as we grow into our adulthood and feel the confidence of being on track to our goals. And by the way, little tangent quickly. Speaking of goals, one of my goals is to start getting out and seeing more of you this spring and summer. My new book, Launching Financial Grownups, is coming out in just a couple of weeks. And if you, your company, an organization that you're part of, or just people in your life are looking for speakers or program ideas for this spring or summer, let's chat. Go to my website for more information, bobbirebell.com/speaking, to get in touch and for more information.
Bobbi Rebell:
All right. Let's talk about this week's guest because she is one of my favorites and someone who shares my passion for helping us all be financial grownups. Ashley Feinstein Gerstley is the author of the new book, Financial Adulting. It's a guide that breaks down everything that we need to know to be financially confident and conscious as adults. Ashley is also a money coach, author of The 30-Day Money Cleanse, and the founder of The Fiscal Femme, a money platform on a mission to end inequality through financial wellbeing. And as you will hear, I got so engrossed in our conversation that I actually lost track of the money tips that Ashley was sharing. Turned out there were nine and each one was really cool. Here is Ashley Feinstein Gerstley.
Bobbi Rebell:
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley, welcome back to the podcast. You are a financial grownup and you're also a financial adult.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Thank you so much for having me.
Bobbi Rebell:
So guys, I'm joking about that, because Ashley has a new book out called Financial Adulting. Nothing, by the way, like my previous book, How to Be a Financial Grownup. It's a very different take that I absolutely love. And so tell us about it. Welcome back.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Thank you. Financial Adulting. I'm so excited about it. It basically covers all of the money topics. And I interviewed 35 experts for the book. A wide range of diverse experts. I'd say part how to. Or mostly a how to, with some expose in there. So it's fun. I think I let some more of my humor through than I did in my last book. And I'm just excited for it to be out in the world.
Bobbi Rebell:
I know. And it has a lot of personality to it. And so I feel like we can kind of be with you on this journey. And also, there's a lot of data that is sort of jaw-dropping. I'm going to leave that to people to read in the actual book. What I did is when I went through, I kind of took some notes. And so I'm going to ask you to expand on some of the big themes that jumped out at me. Starting with, okay, this is one... And this is where you show your personality. You also show sort of the maturity of coming at money as a financial adult. You talk about the difference between lifestyle creep, which is something people warn against, and lifestyle upgrade. Ashley, so what's the difference?
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Lifestyle creep, I feel like it's more happening behind the scenes. Whereas an upgrade is very intentional. We're consciously choosing to add something or pay for something or do something in our life. I had an example recently. I was with my parents on a vacation in North Carolina and we had the two kids and it was kind of wild. We didn't get to do a lot of things because we were busy with the kids. And my mom challenged me actually. She's like, "I challenge you to get a babysitter every single Saturday." She said it would be life...
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
And it was this moment where as a financial adult in a different stage, I was very frugal. I wanted to reach these money goals. There's this point where it's like, "When do I want to invest in something that will really benefit my happiness?" And it's not a cheap thing to get a babysitter every single week. But it's something that we did, an investment we made, and it has been so incredible. So that was a conscious lifestyle upgrade I made versus allowing like expenses to creep in.
Bobbi Rebell:
So true. All right. You also talk about the difference between a crisis fund, a rainy day fund, and a walk away fund. Talk about that.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Yes. So I would define crisis fund as like the minimum amount of rainy day fund we need in case of a crisis, something happening. Losing our job, a large health-related expense coming up, we want some cash set aside for that. Rainy day, I would say is a bigger fund than that. It's kind of like our ideal, what we'd want to have set aside. And I walk through in the book how to price it out, how much you want to have in there. But there's like the crisis minimum cash you want to have then the ideal. And then the walk away is actually to protect us in our relationships.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
And this was something that Dasha Kennedy, in my interview with her, talked about. That, especially women, having money set aside in case we need to walk away because in a time where 99% of cases of abuse include financial abuse. And so to have these funds available, without having to wait or put things on credit cards, if you need to get out of a situation is a very powerful thing. And so the walk away fund, she recommended six months of expenses to have, that you just have that cash available in the case you need to walk away.
Bobbi Rebell:
And that's really important. Something I experienced when my marriage early in life broke up. I was really happy to have that financial stability. It was really, really important. Okay. The third financial adulting tip is knowing what you need to know, but also what you don't need to know to make things more manageable. This is about living in reality, not aspiration, right?
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Yes. And there's just so much financial information, right? There's channels. So many books, articles. I think we can get very overwhelmed in that information overload. And there's always more to learn and new things happening, and it can have us never take action. So knowing what we need to know and kind of filtering out the rest is really key to financial adulting, because then we can take action and take steps to move forward in our financial lives.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah. I mean, you definitely can get that like analysis paralysis, I think they call it.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Yes.
Bobbi Rebell:
And you just can't get anything done. It's almost like when you go to the supermarket and there's just too many choices. And sometimes it's better to go to a smaller store where there aren't as many options.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Yes.
Bobbi Rebell:
All right. The fourth tip is negotiating. Okay. When you're negotiating, one thing you tell people to do is to document your work along the way. And this goes to preparation, which can kind of be applied to so many different things and organization.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Yes. So I recommend keeping a success log. And this is actually something that happened to me. You have a big success at work or something goes well with the project and you assume you'll always remember that. How could I forget? That went so well. And then you go into your negotiation conversation or your year-end review with your boss or manager and you draw a blank. Like what did I even do over the last six months? What were the results?
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
So as you have successes, big and small, I highly recommend documenting them. What went well with a certain team? What was the result for the company? And then when it's time to go into that meeting, you have this laundry list of things that you accomplished. It's also really good for those down days where you're not feeling really great. You can read that list and give yourself a little pep talk.
Bobbi Rebell:
We also sometimes assume that our bosses know all the stuff that we did. But the truth is we often barely remember. The bosses forget it. They don't know. They're doing their best, but they're worried about their career. They are not taking notes to make sure that they do the absolute best review of you possible. I mean, some might. But generally it's better to have that covered yourself. Okay. I think we're up to five. The fifth financial adulting tip is let's talk about the concept of sinking funds.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
It's called a sinking fund probably because it's a fund that we build up to sink. So the point of it is to spend it. You can use them for all kinds of things. I recommend if there's ever an expense that tends to make your budget feel really tight or out of whack, and it messes up cashflow, and that could be... Travel is a very common sinking fund. A travel or vacation fund or a holiday fund. Or I have one for my dogs, medical bills, in case something big happens that I don't have to stress about money in case she needs something. So sinking funds are... I recommend putting them in an online savings account. Having each one have its own bucket. And transferring money every paycheck, every week, every month. Whatever cadence works for you towards that fund.
Bobbi Rebell:
All right. Financial adulting tip... I think we're up to seven. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Yes. This can apply to so many things. One reason we often don't plan for different goals or for different expenses is because we don't have all the information and we're not sure what it's going to be. Or when we're thinking about goals, especially really long term ones like retirement or paying for our children's education, there's so many variables and we don't know when we're going to die or what our investments will earn or what taxes will be. And so moving towards the goal, generally checking in is so much better than not doing anything because we can't know everything. So I think... And reaching a goal part way versus all the way is so much better than not reaching it at all. So moving towards goals and giving ourselves from grace for this like perfect number we have to reach.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yeah. I mean, it's like when you're losing weight. If you try to lose weight and you want to lose 10 pounds and you lose seven, well, you lost seven. So it's okay. I mean, you can still work on the extra three. But you did lose seven, so you probably feel a lot better. All right. I've lost count. So we're on the second to the last one. Okay. Retirement does not have to be associated with age. And you do a nod to the FIRE movement, but it's not just about the FIRE movement, which is the financial independence, retire early. It's about really thinking about what the word retirement means.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
I think the word retirement comes with a lot of different connotations. And that's kind of what I wanted to have people reframe because we often don't feel connected to that goal, especially if you're earlier in your career because you think it is an age. So that's why in the chapter on retirement, I called it work optional, because that's really what it is. We're saving to have enough money to not have to work, to be able to choose to do a different kind of work, to have more flexibility. And that can happen whenever you reach that goal. And I think that makes it a little more exciting and a little more tangible when we're saving up for it.
Bobbi Rebell:
And it can also be a season of our life that we do that. And then we go back to doing maybe the same thing or maybe something different. And by the way, I do want to acknowledge that in the book, you do this too. That that is a nod to our mutual friend, Tanja Hester. She was on this podcast talking about her book, Work Optional. We can leave a link for that in the show notes, as we like to say.
Bobbi Rebell:
All right, last one. I love this one the best, because it's about investing, the riskiest part. And this is epic that you say this because it's obvious and yet I don't think I've heard anyone say this. The riskiest part of investing is that we are human. I love that, Ashley.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Thank you. It's great to be called epic, you know?
Bobbi Rebell:
It is, but it's everything, because that's what it is. We are human. I mean, I remember the first time I was able to buy into... Not that it's happened so often. But I was able to buy into an IPO. And I thought I really had it emotionally managed because I'd been a journalist for years covering IPOs. And I knew intellectually how it works and how people react and the kind of mistakes people made. And I still was a wreck. I was an emotional wreck when that happened. And I didn't know what to do and it [inaudible 00:13:41]. And so I sold half to take it off the table and then it cratered. So I lost the other half, so I came out even. But let me tell you, I was so human in that moment. Even though I knew intellectually exactly what to do, I was just a wreck.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Yes. And you hear it over and over. Buy low, sell high. Invest for the long term. Don't look at your investments. But it truly is so different when it's happening, when you're in the moment, when you're seeing things on the news and people are saying, "The market will never be the same," or whatever it is. So some of the things to combat that, that we talk about in the book, is like investing for the long term. Not needing the money in the short term. Not looking. Understanding that we don't actually lose or make money until we sell the investment. So that's also helpful to remember, because I think there's always like, "Oh, I made $500 today," or "I lost $5,000 today." And that's not really the case. It's [inaudible 00:14:39] all the case until you actually sell is when it's a realized investment.
Bobbi Rebell:
And don't forget, you will pay taxes, which you also do cover very well in the book. All right, let's wrap this up, my friend. Tell us where we can find out more about you and Financial Adulting, the book?
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
You can find more about the book at financialadultingbook.com. And follow along me and the rest of the things going on at The Fiscal Femme.
Bobbi Rebell:
Thank you so much.
Ashley Feinstein Gerstley:
Thank you so much for having me.
Bobbi Rebell:
I know they say save the best for last. But my favorite tip was actually the first one about lifestyle upgrade as opposed to lifestyle creep. As we can see from all that is going on in the world, from COVID to war, it is important to remember that while we want to be thoughtful about planning for the future, we must live our lives in the present as well. And be so appreciative of all that we have and we should never take for granted, including our health and being able to live in a peaceful country. Nothing is guaranteed.
Bobbi Rebell:
Please be in touch with me. I would love to hear from all of you, what resonated with you about my interview with Ashley? You can DM me on Instagram, @bobbirebell1. And also, be in touch by being part of my newsletter. Just go to my website, bobbirebell.com, to sign up for that. Make sure to check out Ashley's book as I mentioned, Financial Adulting. And thank you so much to Ashley Feinstein Gerstley for helping us all be financial grownups.
Bobbi Rebell:
Money Tips for Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media LLC. Editing and production by Steve Stewart. Guest coordination, content creation, social media support and show notes by Ashley Wall. You can find the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show, as well as show transcripts, by going to my website, bobbirebell.com. You can also find an incredible library of hundreds of previous episodes to help you on your journey as a financial grownup.
Bobbi Rebell:
The podcast and tons of complimentary resources associated with the podcast is brought to you for free. But I need to have your support in return. Here's how you can do that. First, connect with me on social media, @bobbirebell1 on Instagram and bobbirebell on Twitter, where you can join my Money Tips for Grownups club. Second, share this podcast on social media and tag me so I can thank you.
Bobbi Rebell:
You can also leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me. And you know what? It really motivates others to subscribe. You can also support our merch shop grownupgear.com by picking up fun gifts for your grownup friends and treating yourself as well. And most of all, help your friends on their journey to being financial grownups by encouraging them to subscribe to the podcast. Together, we got this. Thank you for your time and for the kind word so many of you send my way. See you next time and thank you for supporting Money Tips for Financial Grownups.
