Start now: tips for a year of self care with Allison Task author of A Year of Self Care
Don’t wait until January!! Friend of the podcast Allison Task is back with her latest project: A Year of Self Care Journal. Find out how you can create a healthy financial ecosystem, get tips for active listening and the difference between responding and reacting and so much more.
Money Tips
Create a healthy financial ecosystem
Get tips for active listening
Learn the difference between responding and reacting
How to make the most of the Self Care Journal
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Full Transcript:
Bobbi Rebell:
I hope you guys are all celebrating some big adulting milestones this season. And you know what? Finding the perfect gift for those celebrations can be kind of tough. I have the solution over at grownupgear.com. We have adorable hats, totes, mugs, pillows, tees, and seriously the most cozy and comfortable sweatshirts. They're all on grownupgear.com and all at affordable prices. We even now have digital gift certificates, if you can't decide. Use code GROWNUP for 15% off your first order. Buying from our small business helps to support this free podcast. And you know what? We really appreciate it. Thanks guys.
Allison Task:
Dirty little secret, I had the conversation with my husband this summer. I'm like, "Can we just do it? Can we just do our budget?" And I kind of rely on him because he's a financial professional. And I said, "It's time." I opened up my spreadsheet. In about 20 minutes, I had where our money's coming, where are money's going. And it's going out a lot more than coming in. So we had a real conversation with real numbers. That's important. I didn't do it myself and I did it this summer.
Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Money Tips for Financial Grownups with me, Certified Financial Planner, Bobbi Rebell. Author of How to be a Financial Grownup. And you know what? When it comes to money, being a grownup is hard. But together we've got this.
Bobbi Rebell:
Hey friends, welcome to an all new episode of the Money Tips for Financial Grownups podcast. You guys are in for a treat today because it is all about you putting yourself first as you should and not waiting until the new year. I'm really excited to bring back career coach, mentor, life coach, all around wise person. An author, Allison Task, she's a guest so many of you wrote me about that you loved, as did I. Because Allison just gets it. And she isn't afraid to dish out some tough love to get all of us to a better place.
Bobbi Rebell:
I get a lot of books sent to me asking if the author could be featured on the show and I really try to limit the number of sort of journals as we head into the new year. Some of them are really good, but a lot of them are kind same old, same old. This is very different. It is, I don't know what to say, just substantial. There's a lot more to it and a lot of thought that went into it. And most of all, it's definitely not something you want to wait on. You want to get this now and not just wait to the new year. So in this case, I actually reached out to Allison Task and I bought myself this journal because I wanted it now, I didn't want to wait. And it really is a next level version of something that so many other people are doing, but just not as well.
Bobbi Rebell:
As you listen to the interview with Allison, you're going to start to understand why it is simply called a year of self-care journal. So in our interview, Allison and I talk about some very real world situations, including ... and this gets really personal, I was kind of a little surprised she went there. But Allison talks about how she talks about money with her husband and even revealed some of the conversations that they had when things got really dicey during the pandemic. She gets really candid about how her life changed, some big decisions that had to be made. And how this project, the journal, came to be. We talk about active listening, communicating boundaries, and the difference between reacting and responding. Get ready, guys, this is good. Here is Alison Task.
Bobbi Rebell:
Alison Task, you're a Financial Grownup. Welcome back to the podcast.
Allison Task:
Thank you so much for having me.
Bobbi Rebell:
I am so glad to have you back. You were here a little while ago to talk about personal revolution. It's like our important to sort of like evolution, everyone should check out that book and that at episode. Which of course, we have to be like so podcast cliche and be like, "Go to our show notes for the link to that." But I have you back because you have a new book. It is called A Year of Self-care, it's a journal. Allison, first of all, welcome, welcome, welcome. And tell us about the new book.
Allison Task:
So, the new book is something that I created so that people could have really tangible exercises. You know me, right? I'm a coach, I'm a life coach, career coach. And what happens out of my room is more important than what happens in the room. While in conversation with people, we have work to do. And I wanted to create something so that people could go home at night and do the work. That's where the rubber hits the road, you be with your coach, but it's in your weekly runs that you really get stuff done. That was the idea for this book. And it's a journal. So every week has either a quote or some sort of topic to keep you thinking and then an action. And it's designed to happen anytime over the course of a week.
Bobbi Rebell:
Exactly. And the other thing that I really like about it is they're really substantial, and they're thoughtful, and there's themes that come back throughout the book, which I like. Because you want reinforcement, you don't want just one time to be told, "Oh, think about your sleep and how that impacts the rest of your life." They're recurring themes and I really like that positive reinforcement. Especially when we are home more than we used to be, even as the world opens up. And this is a time when people really want to be thinking about how they're living their life.
Allison Task:
Right. So it's very intentional. And when you talk about the themes, there are five specific areas that I focus on. I focus on self care in terms of the physical, the mental, the spiritual, and the emotional. Like those three always get put together. So physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and social.
Bobbi Rebell:
So I cheated a little and looked ahead and went through the book to pull out some of my favorite week challenges, prompts, whatever you want to call it. So I want to ask you to elaborate on a few of them, just to give people a little bit of a teaser of the book, sneak, peek, whatever you want to call it.
Bobbi Rebell:
So one of my favorites is week seven, which is about making an honest assessment of your financial situation including creating a healthy financial ecosystem. And that's something, by the way, sneak peek, also, Allison you're featured in my upcoming book that's coming out in March, Launching Financial Grownups. You had amazing advice for parents. We talked about the financial ecosystem a bit there, too.
Allison Task:
Absolutely. I can't tell you how many clients I meet at all levels of economics who I'll say, "What is your budget? Do you know what you're spending a month or a year?" They'll say, "No." And dirty little secret, I had the conversation with my husband this summer. I'm like, "Can we just do it? Can we just do our budget?" And I kind of rely on him because he's a financial professional. And I said, "It's time." I opened up my spreadsheet. In about 20 minutes, I had where our money's coming, where our money's going. And it's going out a lot more than coming in. So we had a real conversation with real numbers, that's important. I didn't do it myself and I did it this summer.
Bobbi Rebell:
It's hard to make time to do that even when we have a lot of time. So that's one of the reasons it's nice to have a physical book with actual prompts because you can go to the other financial stakeholders in your family, which may be a husband, a wife, whomever it is. But the people that your finances overlap with and say, "Look, I'm working on this. I need your help. Can you participate in this exercise this week?" So I think that's a great thing.
Bobbi Rebell:
You also talk about practicing active listening. It's so important in life, but also it's important for career and business success. We've learned that a little bit with Zoom because we can't talk over each other as much as we might in person. But tell us more about that.
Allison Task:
Well, active listening, to me, it's a gift you're giving to the person you're speaking with. I'm speaking right now, you're giving me the space, you're not stepping on me. And now the next part is ... and we don't have to do this in the interview. But it's, "Here's what I heard you say, Allison." It's actively giving space, then even a little extra space when the person finishes. And then letting you know they were heard.
Allison Task:
If there's community, the level of connectivity that happens when a person feels heard is very powerful. It's relief, you can feel it in your body and you feel it because there's me and you and the space between us. And the space between us grows wider and more powerful, we connect more.
Bobbi Rebell:
Another one of my favorites here was communicating boundaries. This is really important as we start going back into the world. You mentioned your PTA president, I'm actually the class mom, whatever you want to call it, for my son's grade. And we get pulled into ... you're silently applauding me, but I'm sort of mixed feelings about it. Because we sometimes say yes, and when you say yes to something, you are kind of saying no to something else. So it's really important to be selective and to create those boundaries. Tell us more about that.
Allison Task:
Well, yes. Congratulations and thank you for stepping up in this leadership role. Yeah, fuzzy boundaries like this, emotional boundaries with your kids, showing up, volunteering is some of the fuzziest of boundaries. And so where do we want to go? Checking in with ourself. When you feel you're getting pulled, I sense resistance. And it's very much okay. And trust me as a PTA president, I'm always having people tell me, no. But when people tell me, yes, I go, "Great. How do you want to build this? How will this work for you?" I do not want a single volunteer that isn't thrilled to be there because then the work doesn't get done in a passive aggressive way and I'm not interested in wasting time with that. So if you want to stand up, how do you want to stand up? So maybe defining for yourself how you want to be a class parent. I will spend no more than two hours a week on this. Some weeks I'll go to 10 for big weeks, but that's it. And you can say no and say yes.
Bobbi Rebell:
I like that a lot. The other thing I really like is further on ... actually this is the final one, so I'm giving everyone ... it's not a spoiler, but anyway. It's consider the range of responses, the difference between responding and reacting. And I was like, "Hmm." I read that, I'm like, "I really have to process that because they are very different." And very often we're reactive when really we should be a little bit more thoughtful and think about our response.
Allison Task:
Right. And active listening helps you with that. Responding is taking a beat, thinking, giving space. And reacting is quicker. I was visiting relatives in Rochester the summer and she said, "The difference between the downstate city folk and us is, we just take that space." And you gave that some space, which I appreciate. Because you were considering it. Respond. React is, "No, no, no, that's not what I said. No, no, I meant something totally different." It's high pitched, it's frenetic, it's pitchy, it's up here. It's not deeper, stronger.
Bobbi Rebell:
The final thing that I want to ask you to tell us more about of these 52 amazing prompts. You talk about ... this is really towards the beginning, if your ship doesn't come in ... this is a quote because you have the quotes and then you have the actions. If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to meet it. I want to hear more about that. Because many of us are still home, we're starting to go back to offices, back to socializing, back to in-person activities and networking. And this is a time when we have to remember that if we just sit back, sometimes the ship doesn't come into us. Sometimes we do have to force ourselves and I find myself sometimes really not wanting to go to things. Even though I do miss friends, I do miss going out. We kind of got used to just not.
Allison Task:
Well dirty little secret, boy was I happy to have all those obligations off of my docket. And I sense you're feeling that way, too. And so ... ah, you're giving me the side eye. So that's a boundary thing. Here's what I learned about myself during the pandemic, I tend to overbook and I really value my downtime and I don't have that much of it. You're a person who puts yourself out there in public for a career, maybe you really treasure that reconnection, rejuvenation, repair time. You're out so much, you got to go in, too. I think that's important. I'm not sure that I answered your exact question because I flipped it [crosstalk 00:11:55]-
Bobbi Rebell:
Well, I guess the question is, though, at a certain point, you also have to say, "Okay, but I do have a business, I do have to earn income." And it's not going to happen. If I just wait for the ship to come to me, maybe I have to go out and meet the ship. I mean, that really hit home with me that we do have to motivate. Yes, we've learned how much we need that rejuvenation, how much we do need that downtime. But we also have to remember, there's a reason why people go to in person business trips, for example. There's a reason why we would meet somebody in person to have coffee or lunch or whatever it may be. Because you do connect with of people sometimes on a very different level when you do have those in-person experiences. And that's something that we're all figuring out right now, what is the balance? Because of what you just said.
Allison Task:
That's a really powerful part of self-care. Self-care isn't just the repair and the snuggling in the cashmere. Self-care is also taking action, growing. I like the concept that you're either comfortable or you're growing. And if you're waiting on the couch or by the edge of the sea, maybe you're comfortable and maybe you need a little goose. Maybe you need to goose your system. Maybe your business is running perfectly fine, but then have that moment with yourself where you sit down and have a little offsite with you. Maybe it's down insight in your home. And you're like, "Is this where I want my business to go? Where do I want my business in ten years, five years? Then what are my goals for this year?" So that's assert yourself. One of the WHO things, The World Health Organization, I believe was agency. It's empowerment, autonomy, self efficacy.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yes.
Allison Task:
Self efficacy.
Bobbi Rebell:
Yes.
Allison Task:
There you go.
Bobbi Rebell:
All right, so you gave me the perfect lead in and because you also have a whole business. Books are just a tiny part of all that you do. So tell us about that and how people can be in touch with you and learn more about everything besides your books. We know your books are everywhere.
Allison Task:
Yeah, they are live and large. So I have a personal coaching business, I work privately with individuals to coach them. I have been hired by organizations, but I prefer to keep my work really intimate, working directly with the person who hires me. My name is Alison Task. My website is AllisonTask. And currently available working with private clients.
Bobbi Rebell:
Wonderful. And it's great that you can be available for people, but also if that's not an option for somebody, they can definitely get your books and other resources. So thank you so much.
Allison Task:
Thank you for having me.
Bobbi Rebell:
Allison was so great, as always, so perceptive. Just really nails it and calls us out for the things that we know we should be doing, but we don't always actively pay attention to. I particularly loved what she had to say about volunteering, which is something I have mixed feelings about. Also how to say no, but also say yes. And I was struck by what she had to say about the fact that we tend to just react to things when we really should take a beat and think about our response. Take some space, give other people a little space.
Bobbi Rebell:
I would love to hear from all of you about what resonated with you. DM me on Instagram @bobbirebell1. And please take a moment to share this episode on social media or just directly share with your friends that might enjoy it. I really need your help to grow this podcast, it is truly a labor of love. And for that reason, each and every one of you matters to me. So I am sincere when I ask you to be in touch. I want to hear from you.
Bobbi Rebell:
Don't wait until the new year to pick up Allison's book, A Year of Self-care Journal. Allison Task always brings it and we are so thankful for her coming back to the podcast to help us all be financial grownups.
Bobbi Rebell:
Money Tips for Financial Grownups is a Production of BRK Media, LLC. Editing and production by Steve Stewart, Guest Coordination, Content Creation, Social Media Support and Show Notes By Ashley Wall. You can find the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show as well as show transcripts, by going to my website, bobbirebell.com. You can also find an incredible library of hundreds of previous episodes to help you on your journey as a financial grownup.
Bobbi Rebell:
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Bobbi Rebell:
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