4 Life changing money tips for when life changes with Stacy Francis

 

Episode Description: Stuff happens. Francis Financial CEO Stacy Francis shares her best advice to be prepared for the unpredictable twists and turns life throws at us. 

Timestamps & Main Points:

  • 00:00 - Introduction

  • 04:18 - Introducing Stacy Francis

  • 04:45 - Stacy’s wealth management firm

  • 05:55 - Stacy’s 1st tip for when life changes

  • 08:03 - Tangible things, you can do ahead of negotiations

  • 10:07 - Amy Cuddy Power Pose

  • 11:02 - Stacy’s 2nd tip for when life changes

  • 12:43 - Stacy’s 3rd tip for when life changes

  • 13:51 - Stacy’s 4th tip for when life changes

  • 15:01 - How do I use this as a tool? Money is just a tool.


Stacy’s Bio:

Stacy Francis is the President and CEO of Francis Financial, a boutique wealth management and divorce financial planning firm. Stacy is a nationally recognized financial expert and is one of twenty of the nation’s leading wealth managers on CNBC’s Digital Financial Advisor Council, a member of the Forbes Finance Council as well as an expert contributor for The Wall Street Journal. Stacy’s expertise is highlighted in over 200 media publications, articles, bylined pieces and quotes. Stacy is the host of Financially Ever After, a podcast focusing on women, money and divorce. She is also the author of the Financial Help for Widows - A Complete Resource Guide and the white paper, Unveiling the Unspoken Truth: The Financial Challenges Women Face During and After Divorce.

 
 

Did you enjoy the show? We would love your support!

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. We love reading what our listeners think of the show!

  1. Subscribe to the podcast, so you never miss an episode.

  2. Subscribe to the newsletter.

  3. Share the podcast with your family, friends, and co-workers.

Full Transcript:


Bobbi Rebell:

I know the holidays are a time we're all supposed to get excited about, but sometimes it just feels like I can't celebrate until I get through my never ending to-do list. That includes gifts. It's exhausting. I love the smile on people's faces when I get them something that's going to be meaningful and that they love. But the truth is, it's also really hard. And I'm really getting tired of giving people the same old, same old. I feel like we're finally emerging from this pandemic, and I just want something that will get them to smile.

So my team and I have been working really hard to up the ante over at Grownup Gear with some super fun new stuff. My personal favorite, the bibs and the onesies with phrases like, "I can't believe you are the grownup either," and new colors and designs of our top-selling Generosity line. And for the holidays, if you spend just $50 on any of the items from our Generosity collection, we will gift you a $10 gift certificate that you can spend on something to be generous to well, yourself. Just use code HOLIDAY, H-O-L-I-D-A-Y. And thanks again to everyone supporting Grownup Gear. Your business helps support projects like this podcast, which remain free for all of you. Happy holidays, guys.

Stacy Francis:

Negotiating and pretending that you are negotiating for your dearest, closest friend. What would you do for her? What would you ask for for him, that maybe you wouldn't do for yourself? I will tell you, I did this once. At my first job, I got my bonus and I was not happy. And it took so much courage, but I marched back in there to my boss's office, and in the kindest way just said, "This tells me I'm not doing a good job. Is that the message that I should be listening for?" And all of a sudden, the bonus got doubled. The whole time I kept on thinking about, "Okay, I'm negotiating for my mom."

Bobbi Rebell:

You're listening to Money Tips for Financial Grownups with me, Certified Financial Planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups. Because you know what? Grown up life is really hard, but together we've got this.

I like to think of every episode of this podcast as a very grownup one, but this, this episode, my friends, is definitely one that you'll appreciate if you are living, or at least working towards, living a financial grown up life. And that's because we're going to be talking about change.

Now, let's be real. We're often not prepared for the unexpected, because, well, we were not expecting those changes. Let's be realistic. But we can at least be prepared with ideas of people to reach out to who can help us in those times. And that's a lot of being a grownup. It's not always having the answers, it's having the tools defined where you can get the answers.

That is the perfect segue to my guest this week. She is Stacey Francis, CEO of Francis Financial, a boutique wealth management planning firm. Now, if her name is familiar, you've probably seen Stacy Francis quoted in over 200 media publications. She is also the host of the Financially Ever After podcast and the author of Financial Help for Widows.

Stacy is also one of 20 of the nation's leading wealth managers on CNBC's Digital Financial Advisors Council, a member of the Forbes Finance Council, and an expert contributor to the Wall Street Journal. Let's just say I could go on. She's a heavy header.

Okay. In our interview, Stacy shares four tips for when life changes, along with her unique perspective on how we can manage even when we don't have all of our ducks in a row, because really, when do we? Right? My personal highlight is a unique negotiation strategy that I can't wait to try out myself and hear how it goes for you guys. Here is Stacy Francis.

Stacey Francis, you are a financial grownup. Welcome to the podcast.

Stacy Francis:

Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

Bobbi Rebell:

Well, I'm happy that you're joining us. You're going to be helping us go through something that is so relevant to the financial grownup community, and that is going through different life changes. You brought with you four life-changing money tips for when life changes, which is something by the way you specialize in your business. Can you tell us a little bit briefly about that before we get into your four money tips?

Stacy Francis:

Yeah. I started my firm, we're an independent, fee-only wealth management firm. I started two decades ago. I can't believe it's been that long, but I've been having a lot of fun and I think that's why time flies. We primarily work with people who are having significant transitions: end of a relationship, potentially some type of inheritance, change to their current job situation, both positive and negative events. But they're often times where they need to reach out for some support, some guidance, because they know that the decisions they're making are going to impact the rest of their life.

Bobbi Rebell:

And those changes, as we go through often very different stages of our life, we have big changes, whether it's getting out of college, whether it's entering into a relationship like a marriage that has financial components and sometimes these don't last. Things change when we have children, things change sometimes when we lose a loved one. So there's all these kinds of things, even just a new job, switching careers, pivoting, more people these days finding themselves in a layoff situation. Things change. It's a wake up call, but it's also an opportunity, in many ways, so I'm really excited about these four tips that you brought.

The first one is about knowing your worth and asking for it. It's particularly for women, if we're being honest, but it's also important for everyone to be aware of this. The tip, and it's just so on point, but we don't think of it this way, it's negotiate for somebody that you love dearly. Reframing it that way, it just makes so much sense, and yet, I never thought of it.

Yeah. There are some people that their superpower is negotiation and standing up for themselves and their worth. But I'll tell you, not too many people have that superpower. And so, the rest of us, this is something that we really have to work on. And the best tip I can ever give someone is that when you're standing up for yourself, when you're advocating for yourself, and that's whether it's the end of a relationship, if you're going through a dissolution to your marriage or your relationship, if you unfortunately lost your spouse due to a death, or you're negotiating for yourself in a new job, or unfortunately, maybe a severance, negotiating and pretending that you are negotiating for your dearest, closest friend. What would you do for her? What would you ask for, for him that maybe you wouldn't do for yourself? And the more prepared that you can be with what you want and what you need, the better you're going to be as you go into that process.

And I will tell you, I did this once. At my first job, I got my bonus and I was not happy. And it took so much courage, but I marched back in there to my boss's office, and in the kindest way just said, "This tells me I'm not doing a good job. Is that the message that I should be listening for?" And all of a sudden, the bonus got doubled. The whole time I kept on thinking about, "Okay, I'm negotiating for my mom," who was the most special person to me. And that's what helped me remove it from myself.

Bobbi Rebell:

Are there any specific things, tangible things, that people can do ahead of going into a negotiation, like things they can write down to be better prepared?

Stacy Francis:

If it's the dissolution of a relationship, understanding what you actually have and understanding what the assets are, the liabilities are, and what you want. Which assets do you want? What type of income? Let's say you are eligible for child support or spousal support, in some states we call it maintenance. What is your goal? And knowing what you want needs to be based on what your expenses are, right? So the more knowledge you have, the more in the power you are going to be.

If you're in a job situation, one of the most important things you can do is do your research. What do other individuals, other folks, make in a similar position? Talk to your colleagues, talk to others in the field. Go on monster.com. There are quite a few great resources where you can see exactly someone of your experience in that type of position should be making. And the more prepared, the more research you have with your amazing list of accomplishments that you've written down, the better your outcome is going to be.

Bobbi Rebell:

And it also, I would think, helps you remove some of the emotion. It's hard not to take it personally, but at the same time, if you have facts, that at least can manage your perspective.

Stacy Francis:

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that many people, myself included, going in to ask for something for myself feels selfish. But when I'm going in and I'm advocating for someone who has been able to achieve X, Y, and Z and help the company in X, Y, and Z way, it's a very different way to show up. It's a very different way to show up.

And I'll just give you a little tiny, this is more of a kind of fun tip, but before you ever have any difficult conversation, you just stand there with your arms as high as you can, your legs out as much as possible for one minute, and that will help you be in your power so that you can show up as your best way. I will tell you, I've used this my entire life, from if it's a difficult conversation or a speaking engagement, whatever, boy does it work. And if you're in a situation where you can't actually do that physically, studies have showed even those people who are paraplegics, who cannot move their body, if you imagine yourself getting big and doing that just in your mind for one minute, it has the same effect.

Bobbi Rebell:

Yeah. And that's the Amy Cuddy power pose, got it.

Stacy Francis:

Hugely popular.

Bobbi Rebell:

It may have been around before her, but people can look up her TED talk to learn more about that. Let's go to the tip number two, and that is don't be afraid to ask for help.

Stacy Francis:

Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you think about it, if I need to have heart surgery, I'm going to go to a heart surgeon, right? Who would ever expect me to know how to do that, let alone operate on myself? And so, it's the same thing, especially when you have a change in your circumstances that has a positive on the financial side or potentially a negative. It's a really important time, and you need to make sure that you're making really good decisions.

And how do you do that? Well, you do that by getting the right people on your team. And so, that could be a financial advisor. And if it's a end of a marriage or a relationship, you need to think about maybe a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, someone who has a specialty in understanding how things should be split and what you are eligible for. If your spouse has passed away, you need to work with someone who understands the probate and estate process. If you're receiving an inheritance, someone who understands what we call Suddenly Money Syndrome, which can be very frightening to receive money. People can feel very upset about receiving this money because they've lost someone that they've really loved. And if it's a job situation, someone who can help you model out, "If I take this new job, what's it going to look like, taking into account bonus, restricted stock options, all the benefits?" So just making sure that when you are hiring your team, you're hiring someone who knows your situation inside and out.

Bobbi Rebell:

Very well said. The third thing, the third money tip is, the more you can save for retirement the earlier on, the easier your life will be down the line. This is something, especially when you deal with couples and relationships that break up, or even work relationships, you lose a job, we often think the other person is doing that. We work for a company, we think there's a pension that's going to carry us for life, or the 401k, just doing the minimum to get the match is enough, or we think our spouse is saving, or whatever. It's not always. We shouldn't make that assumption.

Stacy Francis:

We shouldn't make that assumption. Often, we feel like we're doing everything we should be doing, and that's not necessarily the case. And so, really looking at and peeling back the layers. "Am I maxing out my 401k? Am I getting the full match? Am I getting all the benefits that I'm entitled to through my company? Would they possibly be contributing to a health savings account for me? Am I using their Flex Spending Account that is available or their Dependent Daycare Account?" Often you'll see even benefits for those that might be adopting a child. These are all things that more information is more knowledge, and it helps you make better financial decisions.

Bobbi Rebell:

My favorite tip is the last one, number four, analyze your current spending habits and ask yourself if they're in line with our values. And I think this is important because we just live our lives day-by-day. We spend what we need to as we go through the day, and we don't always adhere to the master plan that we have in our head, and then we don't always get to the goals that are important to us because we've got this sort of money drip, drip, drip going through the daily grind.

Stacy Francis:

You've got it. And actually, what I have to say is, think back to Covid. And for all of us, our spending was reduced significantly.

Bobbi Rebell:

Yeah.

Stacy Francis:

And boy, as our spending rebounded, we added in all those expenses we weren't paying for. But it's a great opportunity to think back to then, of "What were the things that you truly missed that were really important to you? What were the things that didn't make a big impact on your life?" And go from there, and write down that list of "things I missed" and "things that don't really mean a lot to me," because that is one of the most wonderful ways where you can actually be conscientious about where your money is going.

For a lot of people, it's not about the Gucci bag, it's about travel, it's about experiences. So understand where you fall on that spectrum, because money is not going to make you happy. What you do with it is what is going to make you happy. So understanding, "How do I use this as a tool? Money is just a tool. How do I use it to give myself and my loved ones a life that we are happy with and a life that is truly financially secure?" I feel like this, of all of them, to be honest, is the most important tip, and that's part of the reason why I kind of left it to the last.

Bobbi Rebell:

Yes. Save the best for last. Thank you so much. Tell us more about where we can learn more about Francis Financial. You also have a podcast and a book. And the podcast, I was on, so I hope everyone will subscribe both to this podcast if you're not already, it's Financially Ever After, which is the best title ever, by the way.

Stacy Francis:

You've got it, Financially Ever After. And it's all about changes in our life, and what you need to do to make sure that you're healthy and happy and wealthy financially ever after. And you can go to our website, www.francisfinancial.com. We have some really important white papers that we've written that will help you if you are in a transition, if you're at the end of a relationship, we have great tips for you there and a wonderful book that you can download free of charge. So please do go there, and if there's any way we can help you, we also will perform what's called a Stock EKRA Analysis to really see the portfolio you have, is it the right portfolio for you now based on the changes that you have in your life?

Bobbi Rebell:

And life is always changing, so it's important to be prepared. And the next best thing, if you're not prepared, is to take action with someone like Stacy. So thank you so much for joining us.

Stacy Francis:

Thank you.

Bobbi Rebell:

Hey, grownup friends. There is something I don't talk about publicly that I have decided to start sharing, even though it can be a bit embarrassing. I get digital overload and it stresses me out, for good reason, because when you have so much junk on your computer because you're not as organized as you should be because you get caught up in all the things that you have to do. If you don't deal with it, all that stuff on your computer starts to really slow things down and can become a total drag on your productivity. For me, there is nothing worse than finally motivating to get stuff done, only to be derailed by a sluggish computer that is just not cooperating.

A little while ago, I decided I was going to stop, just kind of hoping that things would get better, and I was going to deal with it. I downloaded something called CleanMyMac. It's from a company called Macpaw. I was skeptical, but I took a deep breath and I tried it. Long story short, it totally worked. I loved how I could see it work through my files with clear and easy to understand graphics. I could see what was messing things up. And CleanMyMac would ask me for my okay before deleting files, so that something I did need to keep didn't go bye-bye. That was one of my biggest fears.

I recently reached out to the company and they are offering 10% off to my Financial Grownup listeners who want to also get CleanMyMac. To get that 10% off CleanMyMac, you do need to go to my link. It is bobbirebell.com/cleanmymac, B-O-B-B-I, R-E-B-E-L-L.comc/cleanmymac, and that is all one word. I promise you, you'll be so happy. I want you guys to be in touch with me. Let me know how it goes. You deserve to lower the stress of data overload. Trust me, so worth it.

That negotiating tip about pretending that you're negotiating for someone you care deeply about, priceless, and it really does work. So what resonated with you? Be in touch by DMing me on Instagram, @bobbirebell1, and if you enjoyed this podcast, please help me out by sharing it with others, a simple screen grab and social share, super easy and means the world to me. Please tag me if you do, so that I can share it. And thank you as well.

And for more free resources and relevant information, please get on my newsletter list. There's a link in the show notes, or you can just go to my website, which is just my name, bobbirebell.com, B-O-B-B-I, R-E-B-E-L-L .com, and look for the newsletter signup button. I would love to be a resource for any events you have coming up. You can learn more on my website under the Work with Me tab.

And don't forget to learn more about Stacy Francis. Links to her are right in the show notes. A big thanks, of course, to Stacy Francis for helping us all be financial grownups. Bye, everyone.

Money Tips for Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media, LLC. Editing and production by Steve Stewart. Guest coordination, content creation, social media support, and show notes by Ashley Wall. You can find the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show, as well as show transcripts, by going to my website, bobbirebell.com. You can also find an incredible library of hundreds of previous episodes to help you on your journey as a financial grownup.

The podcast and tons of complimentary resources associated with the podcast is brought to you for free, but I need to have your support in return. Here's how you can do that. First, connect with me on social media, @bobbirebell1 on Instagram and Bobby Rebell on both Twitter and on Clubhouse, where you can join my Money Tips for Grownups Club. Second, share this podcast on social media and tag me so I can thank you. You can also leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me. And you know what? It really motivates others to subscribe. You can also support our merch shop, grownupgear.com, by picking up fun gifts for your grownup friends and treating yourself as well.

And most of all, help your friends on their journey to being financial grownups by encouraging them to subscribe to the podcast. Together, we got this. Thank you for your time and for the kind words so many of you send my way. See you next time, and thank you for supporting Money Tips for Financial Grownups.

 
Bobbi Rebell KaufmanTemplate