Healthy shopping habits for financial grownups with Meghan Dwye

 

Episode Description: Certified Financial Planner Meghan Dwyer, who hosts the Money Isn’t Scary Podcast shares her strategies to manage the urge to splurge while still getting what you need. 

Video Highlight: Meghan explains that self-care doesn’t always mean spending money.

Meghan Dwyer’s Bio: Meghan Dwyer is on a mission to remove the stigma around Money in our culture, so that women can begin to step into their own light and make choices free of fear. Through sharing her own personal experiences, Meghan encourages others to explore the, sometimes uncomfortable, roles that money plays in our lives. Meghan believes that once we fully explore our money stories and begin to challenge them, only then can we break open the societal constructs that keep women playing small. Meghan is host of the Money Isn’t Scary podcast, which takes you on her personal journey with money. Meghan is a Certified Financial Planner professional and loves running, writing, snuggling with her kids and empowering women to be their best selves.

 
 

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Full Transcript:

Bobbi Rebell:

When it comes to money, I think we can all agree we can never know too much- or if we are being honest have too much but let’s focus here my friends. According to the Society for Human Resource Management the majority of working Americans indicate that the personalization of seminars and webinars on investing basics and financial planning is important to them. And in that same survey they add quote “Employers would be wise to add or expand desirable benefits like financial wellness to attract and retain talent”- in other words- companies need to step it up if they want to get the best people on their team. Financial Wellness Strategies is the solution. We provide the top of the line financial wellness programs for employees to create financial grownups who focus on their jobs, because they know they are in control of their personal finances. Learn more and get in touch at financialwellnessstrategies.com. That’s financialwellnessstrategies.com- The time is now to invest in peace of mind.

From tempting sales to the massive industry that self care has become, shopping is everything and can make financial wellness really challenging- we’re talking about that with our guest this week: Certified Financial Planner Meghan Dwyer who is also the host of the Money Isn’t Scary podcast on which I was recently a guest. 

To set the stage- I want to share this week’s quote:

“They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail.”

― Sophie Kinsella, Confessions of a Shopaholic

 

Love this quote because of course we feel so wanted when a retailer is trying to sell us something- they love bomb us with emails or if we are in person those sales people always seem to totally “get us” 

But after the money changes hands.. If you don’t pay.. Well.. and so it goes. 

 

So let’s get honest about the emotional and financial costs of shopping- including the hard core marketing tactics that pull us in and make it so hard to resist. It's not like you can just never buy anything so you have to figure out strategies. We have the perfect guest this week. Meghan Dwyer is a certified financial planner and the host of the Money isn’t Scary podcast. In our interview we touch on everything from how to handle well intentioned friends who encourage you to buy even though they may not know your financial health- and the ever growing push to buy buy buy in the name of self care. Listen closely my friends..I Love this interview,  you will too.

Here is Meghan Dwyer. 

 

 

Megan Dwyer, You are a financial grown up! Welcome to the podcast. I'm glad you're finally here. I got you well into your. Let me start over one more time, Steve. Sorry because the drilling is going. Let's ope megandwere. You're a financial, grown up. Welcome to the podcast.

 

Meghan Dwyer:

Thank you so much for having me.

 

Bobbi Rebell::

You are the host of the Money isn't Scary podcast, which now has over a hundred episodes. Congratulations on making it thus far and it's a great podcast. By the way.

 

Meghan Dwyer:

Thank you. honestly, I didn't know it was even going to go this far, but here I am and absolutely loving it.

 

Bobbi Rebell::

Well, I love that you mix money advice and also very practical tips. And the podcast. One of my favorite things about the money isn't scary podcast. By the way, money can be very scary, so I'm just going to differ from you there, is that you mix the practical with the sort of um, philosophical ideas about money, and you give overarching themes, but you also get very sort of down and dirty about the kinds of psychological traps that people get into. One of the big themes that runs throughout many episodes of your podcast is shopping, And you know sort of this shopping fix that we all need to have. Why do you pay so much attention to shopping when you're talking about money, rather than like estate planning or investing or taxes, and all the other things, or just personal finance, in general,

 

Meghan Dwyer:

Well, there's a couple of reasons for that, So I am a certified financial planner. That's my age upright, and I see in the work that I do how important spending is to the success of a client's financial plan. Right. That is the one thing that we can absolutely control, Right. we can control what happens in our lives or what happens to the world around us. Are the markets we don't. We don't know right, but we can control where our dollars go. And so the other part of this is when I started the podcast. It was during the pandemic, and I was finding that I was doing a lot of online shopping myself to sort of fill a void, And I didn't even really. I couldn't. I couldn't put words to it. I didn't really know quite what it was, but there was something going on there like, I mean, a lot of us. we struggled during the pandemic, right, We were all dealing with our own kind of emotional, financial, um, behavioral struggles, right with everything that was going on and the impact that it had on not only us but our families and the people around us. And so I just always kind of you. Shopping is sort of a coping strategy and I think it's one of those culturally acceptable coping strategies And I say Actually, in one of my episodes I talk about how you know it's perfectly okay to say to your family. Hey, I'm going to go to Target or I'm goin to the mall for three hours, but if you were to say hey, I'm going to a bar for three hours. people will be like. What? What do you do? And alright You have a problem. There's something wrong with you But stopping is different. I mean, it's encouraged and in a similar way to some of those, our behavior is that that exist, right that, as ways of coping like you know, having a glass of wine or exercising or like the little high that we get in certain ways, Shopping also gives us that high, and it gives us that little bit of a dopamine rush. And that's I think that what we're really looking for we're looking for kind of an escape from every day. Yeah,

 

Bobbi Rebell::

I totally relate, and I'll tell you I'm going to make a little confession here on the podcast that

I had never before the pandemic, I had never bought something that I saw on one of those morning television shows and now I have done it more times than I can count. I would say I'm happy with three quarters of the purchases. Some of them are kind of duds and I don't think I fully understood. You know they get. They do tell you that they get a cut from it, but they're so good at selling. I mean, how do we not? And they say this, The other thing mean they always say. Well, it's seventy-five per cent off only for viewers of this show and I fall for it because I see that initial price and I think what a deal. And sure, of course I could use another candle right?

 

Meghan Dwyer:

We love sales as humans. we absolutely love getting a deal. I find there So fascinating right. It's like we don't realize that we even need an item until we walk into a store and we see that it's seventy five per cent, or we see the ad for it online right And so much of shopping on sale is impulse buying, and a lot of the things that I talk about on the podcast is aligning our spending where our dollars are going with our with intention, and my audience is a lot of women and a lot of mom's and because it's really gear towards me and where I am And me kind of working through the struggles that I'm going through right now along with you. It's one of those like I'm holding your hand along through this journey because I'm right there with you and I see so many women that will well, you know, think of, go in to a store because there's something in the. That is, you know, you see the signs on the on the store, like the on the window that say Hey, everything is fifty percent of. I need to go in there and I need to go see if I can Get something in there to give me that little bit of a rush. Because I am stressed out. I'm overwhelmed. I'm exhausted. I'm a mom and I really, to some extent wish I could be anywhere but maybe where I am right now right so, I'm going to go in there and I'm going a buy that pair. Um, you know, I'm figuring like sandals or like expensive shoes. That serve me no real purpose for the here now, but I imagine myself wearing them somewhere in the future, somewhere You know, out to dinner or on some vacation or something like that, because I want to be somewhere that I enjoy somewhere that makes me happy. something that I crave and I've realized as I was doing this that that it's all not what the physical item that we're actually buying. It's the. It's the feeling underneath the item. The feeling that's behind the item and sales are one of those things that I think just impulsively kind of take us to that next level if you see something that's on sale Ure, like, Oh, have to have it absolutely have to have it.

 

Bobbi Rebell::

I also feel like sometimes you feel like you won. like when everyone else is beating you up. You know that day you just feel so exhausted from life and you feel like. Well, At least I got to win today because I got this item that maybe I did have my eye on. It's not always in it. both by. Maybe it's something you've been watching Right To be fair, Maybe it is something that you did need That's at a better price. You feel like I scored. I am taking care of my family in buying things, and I'm getting a deal because we don't want to pay full price, and there's this whole Game that they play with the price. I sometimes wonder, are those full prices ever real? And how much markup is really in there? Because how can store stay in business? If they have things on sale all the time? How do they even make the money? I mean, there's a whole gameifacation going on right?

 

Meghan Dwyer:

absolutely. And there's there's absolute mark ups and there's articles out there and there's some science behind it, but yeah, of course stores have to stay in business. And how how is that absolutely possible when you walk in and it feels like every time you go into a store, it's everything is fifty to sixty percent off. Of course,

 

Bobbi Rebell::

So what is your advice for people who have this urged to shop when they kind of are feeling powerless, especially when they feel overwhelmed by their finances. I mean, that's the irony is. sometimes we're most tempted to shop. It's almost like when you already feel If the diet fan wagon, you know when you already feel like your finances are a mess. Well, I might as well go buy something, because at least they'll look good and whatever, and I might never have a chance again, so I should just you know, buy this item. It will make me feel better. What advice do you have for people? want to maybe stop, But also to maybe understand more about what's going on what they're up against from these stores?

 

Meghan Dwyer:

Yeah, so what I like to say is let's slow it down. Let's I call it like, let's jump off the tread mill for a hot second right, especially as we're busy. I am a full time working mom with two little ones. I know so many women out there are as well, and so we don't take the time to even get to know ourselves very well. I think we don't take the time to kind of just sit down and understand like where are we at? Who are we right now? What do we even like to do? What are our values? What's important to us and that is work that absolutely has to be done. It's the stuff that nobody likes to do. To be perfectly honest, because it can be uncomfortable because we like to compare ourselves to pass versions of ourselves right and like. you Know the example that you just used with like Well, you know, Screw the diet right. it's like you comparing yourselves to the way you might have looked ten years ago, right versus where you are now? But everything has changed. Your life has changed, and for me, kids have changed, and so many moms in particular, I feel like don't know who they are now Because Their identity is wrapped up in being a mother. And our identity is our kids right to some extent, so it's really important to kind of bring it back home and take some time to slow down and figure out who you are. what's important to you and what are your values right now, and there's nothing wrong in my mind with spending your dollars as long as they're in an alignment with the things that you value an alignment with your intentions Right. So my whole goal. What I talk about a lot is, let's be more Intentional with the with what we're spending our money on For me personally, Here's an example. I like to run. Running is like my outlet when I can do it when I don't have the kids around. And so, if I like to, if I'm going, spend my money on anything. I really want a new pair of sneakers like I will have. No, I have no problem going and spending a hundred and fifty dollars on a new Pair of sneakers because I know I'm going to get use out of it. but if you know, on the contrary, I always talk about Target a lot on my show because I love Target and I Like there's. It's one of those very common outlets for many women at this stage of life. Right? You always see a lot of moms just there with the strollers or the baby buckets and stuff. And if I want to go into a target and say you know, Oh, you know, you see this little whatever it is, like a sports brawl or something like that that's on sale and you're like, Oh, I have to have it. It feels to some extent like it does give you that high in the moment, right, because there is that kind of neurological like actual science around it. It gives you that that little high, The dopamine rush. but when you get home, you often feel guilt around it. I do at least, and the guilt I think is what makes me realize that I'm not buying things in alignment with my intention. I'm not. That wasn't an intentional purchase. It was a. It was a kind of a. I need to get something quick and fast. I need a little. I need a little rush. I need something right now to make me feel better because I'm you know, Av bin a tough week or a tough morning and we all have those right, So it's like a little reward to some extent, But at the end it's false. It's not T's unsatisfying, and it's going to make you go back and do more, because it's not actually serving the purpose that you want. so I think not only as shopping for me, it's a It's a hobby. It's something I enjoy doing. I'm never going. O, say that I'm not going to shop ever, and because I enjoy doing it, I love going to stores and seeing what's and what's new, The different colors and touching things. That's why I'm not huge online Per. but I feel like shopping is just one tool in one strategy for kind of coping with some of those other stressors that we're dealing with in our every day lives. There's so many other tools out there. It's just one tool in the

 

Bobbi Rebell::

So what tools should people use if you get the urge to shop? What do you do?

 

Meghan Dwyer:

I mean, I think like I just said, slowing down taking deep breaths. I think some of the things that I like to do. Honestly, I throw on a quick like five-minute little meditation. Sometimes that on inside timer, just get me to kind of calm and move from my head to my body. Exercise is a big one that I always do or I try to do when I can when I can squeeze it in. but if you can't, it's even just like taking a few minutes to just stretch To just take some time to yourself. Honestly, the big thing I'm going to say is childcare. Get a baby. sit here for a minute And just take the. a lot of people think you're going to get a babysitter just to go out to dinner or to go to an advent or something. It's perfectly okay to get a babysitter to take an hour to yourself. To just slow it down and just remember who you are and who you are.

 

Bobbi Rebell::

All right before I let you go? I want to ask you about back to shopping. There's a lot of stuff that has pushed to people to buy in the name of self-care. How do we manage that? Because we're told well, this is self-care. You need to treat yourself. You deserve it right. and it's been. It's just been proliferating and do so many different products. What's your take there? And how can people manage that?

 

Meghan Dwyer:

Yeah, so self care to me, I feel like culture tells you that self care is petty cares and bubble baths. Right And I have learned through the journey on my podcast. I've leaned over the last couple of years, but it's not. It's not. it can be. I sure can be, but it's you know. some of that is expensive. It's not always the cheapest to go get you many petty all the time. Self-care is really tuning in to yourself and honoring yourself. And it's it's standing up Yourself. It's setting boundaries. It's saying no to things. It's for me. One of the big ones is, it's turning off my work computer when I'm home with my kids. It's just trying to do to honor yourself in a way that makes you feel good, and that could be in a pedicure. Sure, it could mean a long hot shower. it could, but it doesn't have to be, and it's not exclusively and you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars. You don't have to spend anything to take care of yourself. So I think our culture has gotten a little crazy when it comes to that again, because it's just trying to sell and take advantage of the crazy life that we're in right now, right the stage of life that we're in as parents, and just the general kind of place in time that we're at M, and all the technology and everything, and I think I think we just need to be a little bit more aware. There's absolutely nothing wrong if you like those things, and you want to do something like that. Going to a yoga class, for instance, Like Is a dream. That's like heaven for me, but they're not. They're not cheap. Right, those are expensive. but that's okay. It's totally okay again. If it's if it's an assignment with your goals and your values and what matters to you,

 

Bobbi Rebell::

Thank you so much. Where can people find out more about you meghan?

 

Meghan Dwyer:

Yeah, so you can check the podcast out anywhere you listen to podcast again. it's called Money isn't scary and you can find me on Instagram. Just @ money isn't scary. All one word, No apostrophe there, And I also have a Facebook group as well, called the Mindful money Mamas, who can go check me out there. And it's really just building a community of like-minded women who are kind of in it together.

 

Bobbi Rebell::

Thank you so much.

 

Meghan Dwyer:

Yeah, thank you for having me.

Bobbi Rebell:

We all want to live our best financial grownup lives and one way to do that is to know that the people we care about are also in a good place when it comes to their money. That might mean our kids, our grandkids and yes- even our friends. But how. Its’ awkward. You see them struggling- pretending to know more than they do- or making bad money decisions but don’t know what to say- and even if you say something supportive- then what? That’s why I wrote Launching Financial Grownups. In Launching Financial Grownups I share the tools and strategies so you know what to say to take the pressure off and give those you love the confidence they need. It's about giving those we care about the right amount of help, at the right time- so they can not only learn what they need to know about being financial grownups- but also be confident they can do it- and that you will be there to cheer them on. Pick up a copy of Launching Financial Grownups - I promise you will be so happy you did. 

 

 

Are you getting ready to make some changes? Or maybe gently talk to a friend you see who could be a little less spendy?

I want to hear about it. DM me on instagram. I’m  @bobbirebell1. And get more about topics like this on my free newsletter- subscribe at bobbirebell.substack.com

Or go to my website bobbirebell.com and look for the newsletter sign up. You can also get the shownotes with links to things we talk about here as well as transcripts of the podcast under the podcast tab. 

 

I’m also really excited to share the new program offerings at my education and consulting company Financial Wellness Strategies- please check them out and let me know how I can help you and your team or your clients - that link is in the show notes as well. 

 

Big thanks to Meghan Dwyer for helping us all be financial grownups and invest in peace of mind. 

 

Wellness for Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media. Editing and production by Steve Stewart, guest coordination, social media support, and show notes by Alliee Borbon. Artwork by Chelsea Perez. You can find the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show, as well as show transcripts by going to my website, bobbirebell.com. 

To get even more out of this podcast, make sure you are also on our newsletter list to get more free content to live your best financial lives. There is a link in the show notes but you can also sign up at bobbirebell.com or at financialwellnessstrategies.com. And be a friend- share the podcast with your friends by taking a screenshot and sharing it on social media. Make sure to tag me on instagram at bobbirebell1. And while your there- follow me- and if you DM me that you listen to the podcast I will follow you back. You can also leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me. You can also support our merch shop, grownupgear.com by picking up fun gifts for your grownup friends and treating yourself as well. And finally my grownup friends, don’t forget to invest in peace of mind. Thanks everyone.

 

 

 

 

 
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