How to be a grownup Financial Feminist with Tori Dunlap (Encore)

 

Episode Description: Tori Dunlap of Her First 100k returns to the podcast to share how she grew her multi-platform business, highlights from her bestselling book Financial Feminist and her advice for financial grownups who want to focus on financial wellness in 2023

A little sneak peek into Tori Dunlap’s episode!

Timestamps & Main Points:

  • 00:00 - Introduction

  • 03:58 - “Worry Less".”

  • 06:27 - You have big dreams until society tells you they’re to big.

  • 10:48 - You show up differently for your career.

  • 12:34 - Financial wellness is actually the thing that is the hinge for all of the rest of it.

Listen to Tori’s first appearance on the podcast back in 2018 HERE!


Tori’s Bio:

Tori Dunlap is an internationally-recognized money and career expert, and podcast host. After saving $100,000 at age 25, Tori quit her corporate job in marketing and founded Her First $100K to fight financial inequality by giving women actionable resources to better their money. She has helped over three million women negotiate salary, pay off debt, build savings, and invest.

Host of the #1 Business Podcast, Financial Feminist; author of the book “Financial Feminist” (Harper Collins); and co-creator of Treasury, an investing education platform that has over $30M invested (featured on New York Times Business front page), Tori's work has been featured on Good Morning America, the Today Show, NBC, Fortune, BBC and more.

A Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, Tori now travels the world writing and speaking about personal finance, online businesses, and confidence for women.

 
 

Links to resources mentioned in the episode!

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to the Wellness for Financial Grownups podcast. I’m your host Certified Financial Planner Bobbi Rebell- author of Launching Financial Grownups and the founder of Financial Wellness Strategies. 


We are approaching the middle of the calendar year- a great time to take stock and reflect. I’m super excited for those of you that are hitting on all cylinders and getting it all done. For me- if we are being honest - things have been going ok. Earlier this year I launched a new business that you have been hearing about- and it has been gaining traction. But I also know that things are never the overnight instant hit you dream of. I remember when my first book came out back in 2016- How to be a Financial Grownup and I got a lot of amazing press and media support in the weeks around its release. A friend asked me how I did all that in just a few weeks. The truth is- I had been working on it for three years- and yet to her it looked like an “instant hit” 


And that brings us to this week’s quote. It is from one of the founders of Twitter, Biz Stone. 


“Timing, perseverance, and 10 years of trying will eventually make you look like an overnight success.”


This quote also hits home with the interview I’m sharing this week. I met Tori Dunlap soon after my first book came out- so 2017. Tori had a job and a lot of ambition. She was eager and a hard worker. But again, she had a job working for someone else doing social media and had her own  venture- Victori-media on the side. But I was impressed and when she asked to be on the podcast- it was an easy yes. 


It was 2018. At that time she had not even created the Her first 100k brand that has made her millions. It was such smart marketing. I remember her emailing me ahead of time asking for introductions to my media contacts. She was never shy about leveraging her network. Tori was going to save 100 thousand dollars by age 25. She did it and used it as a platform that has now extended to include her Financial Feminist podcast and bestselling book by the same name. Oh also she has more than 2 million tik tok followers. She came back on the podcast to talk about that venture earlier this year.  

Here is Tori Dunlap

Tori Dunlap:

Thank you for having me. It's been a minute.

Bobbi Rebell:

I have been watching your star rise. You are now out with, and I have the privilege, we had some scheduling things, so I get to interview you. Your book's been out about a month, super bestseller everywhere, New York Times, the whole deal. Your podcast, top of the charts. How are you feeling? I know you're taking a big vacation.

Tori Dunlap:

I'm feeling pretty tired but very fulfilled. This was very much a team effort. Me and my team worked really, really hard. And yeah, New York Times was something that I had just nonstop thought about really for my entire life, but especially the last six months to a year. And it was so validating to have that happen, but also a really interesting thing where I'm like, okay, what now? So we're going to take a vacation and figure that out.

Bobbi Rebell:

Definitely deserving a vacation. And I love that you said that because we were just talking. You were on my podcast. We'll put the link October 3rd, 2018, still in a 9:00 to 5:00, still under a different brand before you came up with a genius that is, Her First $100K, such a great brand name and Financial Feminist. How is that even available because it's so perfect. In the before times I know when I came out with my first book, which was around the time I met you. Probably it came out in 2016, I probably met you 2017 ish. People were shocked. They're like, how did you get in Cosmo Magazine? How did you get all this press coverage and everywhere, all over the place and all the TV? And I was like, yeah, you just didn't notice that I was working two jobs for years. Talk to me about that. What advice, for example, would you give to the Tori that I met in the before times?

Tori Dunlap:

Worry less. I'd tell that to yesterday's Tori, and I'd tell that to today's Tori and future Tori. My ambition has been kind of a drug for me where it's got me where I am. I also, it's very easy to overdose if we're continuing the metaphor. It's so interesting because back in 2018 I had all of these aspirations and all these goals and I've achieved most of them and I still want to keep going. And so it's just really interesting to think about. I was very concerned with how much I wanted things and the timeline it was happening and it's like truly it all works out at some point. And I joke that the business I knew I was capable of in 2018, if a genie had come out of the bottle and then here's the business, I wouldn't have been equipped to run it. I wouldn't have had the skillset, I wouldn't have had the experience and the trials and tribulations.

And so it's so interesting even to think about, what was that, almost five years ago where it's just absolutely nuts to think about how much has changed in that time. But also the common question I get now from people, which is very sweet, is it's like, did you ever think? And I'm like, yeah, I did. And that's a very, we don't like hearing women say that. You're supposed to say like, "Oh my God, I never thought I was capable of this. I never thought any of this would happen." And I'm like, no, I knew, but I just didn't know when and I didn't know how, and I was very impatient. So I would say worry less, be excited where you're at.

Bobbi Rebell:

Worry less. But also one thing that struck me in remembering some of our sort of behind the scenes conversations, and we've had a few over the years. I remember talking to you soon after you sort of blew up on TikTok. One thing you said to me was I didn't just go on. I took a step back first. I watched and I listened. And by the way, you're in my book, Launching Financial Grownups, and you talk about the importance of taking a step back and listening. And in that case it's about generational communication about money. But you've always been someone that even though you have this ambition, you're very thoughtful and intentional. This is not something that happened accidentally. It's not something where you got lucky, you actually had plans and then implemented them. So talk to people about that, whether it's TikTok or whatever, their sort of goal that is going to shock people when they say, I will be doing this. Talk about how you plan.

Tori Dunlap:

Yeah, the first thing is I have a ton of privilege. So it's like how much of this is hard work and how much of this is privilege? I think it's both. So it's the first thing to really talk about. Second, I talk about this in my book Financial Feminist, but I think especially as women are a member of any marginalized group, is you have big dreams until society tells you that they're too big. And this happens all the time. You have these big aspirations as a kid. I want to be an astronaut, I want to be a this, and it's like, and then at some point society tells you, play smaller, take up less space. And I think actually one of the big bravest, most outrageous things you can do is say things that might shock people. I was like you're going to do that. And I'm like, yeah, of course I'm going to do that. And also with women is that we do have the tendency because we've been told to play small, is we set these smaller goals for ourselves because we're worried of failure.

And the truth is, it's even my 100K goal, back in the day when I was starting my own hundred, you know trying to progress towards saving a 100K at 25, I remember my dad well intentionedly, but he called me and he was like, "So you've gone public with this goal, what if you don't hit it?" And I'm like, then I have $80,000. And that's still a huge accomplishment. And yeah, I might not hit it, but I purposely set a goal that was felt a little challenging and felt at times, how am I going to do this? As opposed to just like, oh yeah, I'll save the money that I know I can during a period of time. And so when you're setting goals, it's a big brave thing to shock people with how big they are. But shock yourself too. Be like, I'm not exactly sure how this is going to happen, but I'm going to set it and work towards it and even if it doesn't happen, I've still made a ton of progress.

Bobbi Rebell:

So this is your first of many bestsellers. No doubt. I've written two books, not New York Times bestsellers. So guys, help me out. And again, this is being recorded about a month after it's been out. So you've been talking to people, you've been hearing reactions, you have a huge audience that gives you feedback and they are not shy about it. If you could take one sort of theme from the book that you wish you had said more about or that you regret you didn't say enough about, however you want to phrase it, given the reaction of your audience what would that be? What do you wish you said more of and maybe would be the light to the next book, the pathway to your next book?

Tori Dunlap:

Yeah, that's a great question. I haven't really thought about that. Obviously I'm biased, but most of the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. I think that it was a really great opportunity for me to create something very tangible and physical for a very digital business. And I think that that's just been so thrilling is being able to give money advice that also acknowledges all of the systemic barriers and the patriarchy and also insert a Timothy Shalome reference or an office quote. And that's very much me. So the vast majority, and especially from our audience, people have been loving it, which is lovely. I don't wish I had done this differently, but it's a good reminder. Some people come to the book and they're like, all right, I'm ready for more. And that's a perfect segue into next book because this is a very like-

Bobbi Rebell:

Well, I guess that's what I'm asking you is what resonated the most, I guess is what I'm asking. What really hit home that you're like, yeah, for me there was a chapter where I literally go through how a paycheck looks and what you need to know about each thing, all this ridiculous jargon that they put in. And there was talk at one point that I should cut it out because everyone knows it. That chapter hits home, people love it. And I'm like, wow, I should do more of this is literally what all the acronyms are. What for you stands out like, oh my god, they love this. I had it in there, but I didn't really, I underestimated how important this theme was.

Tori Dunlap:

I think the question I keep getting asked book and other things, when we get feedback from people, which we get messages now every five minutes, and it's so humbling and it's always like I paid off $10,000 of debt. I negotiated 20% raise. But the interesting thing, it is always the second part that just hits me in the face, which is comma, and I feel so much more confident in every aspect of my life now. And one of the things that we really talk about internally as a team with Her First 100K is like we're not really a financial company. We are a women's or a feminist company that happens to talk about money and that confidence when you are financially whole and financially stable ripples through every aspect of your life. And so actually that's something I'm really interested in exploring more of is what does it feel like to be confident as a woman, and how does that actually all stem from getting your financial stuff together? Because I think you show up differently in your relationships.

You show up differently in your career. I know if I go on a date and a man disrespects me, it's like, I don't have the time for you. I'm not going to do this. I don't need anything from you. I don't need money from you. I don't need stability. I have built that for myself. If I go into a work with a client or if I was still working a 9:00 to 5:00 and yet I had this financial stability, I can leave at any time. I can say, actually, this isn't serving me anymore. And what, again, we were talking about playing small versus playing big, what an incredible opportunity to walk into any room and know, a, I belong here, and b, if things get uncomfortable, I don't have to be here because I have the confidence, the stability, the option to walk away. That's one thing we're really interested in exploring in the future and potentially with a second book or a third book, is like what does that look like to not only be financially confident, but to use that confidence to show up differently in every aspect of your life?

Bobbi Rebell:

So brilliant, and it really ties into something we're talking about so much on the podcast for 2023, which is financial wellness, that it's not just about the numbers, it's about how you approach the numbers, because sometimes you can't solve your problems overnight and sometimes because of the systemic issues you can't solve them at all, and you have to find workarounds to just make your life work. Can you talk a little bit about the idea of financial wellness and how that impacts our overall wellbeing?

Tori Dunlap:

Yeah. I mean specifically with women, I think it's really interesting because we have these different definitions of wellness and a lot of it's been gentrified and commodified, but financial wellness seems to often get left out of the conversation. It's physical wellness, it's now mental wellness, which is so important, but it's also, again, if you want to go to therapy, you need money. You want to go to the gym, you need money for a gym membership and financial wellness is actually the thing that is the hinge for all of the rest of it. And I think there's something so beautiful about this idea of, again, when you have money, you have options and that you can use money to buy stability and happiness and to try to navigate capitalism to the best of your ability. We talk in the book about the personal finance equation.

A lot of people think it's a hundred percent personal choices. My not so secret nemesis, Dave Ramsey likes to think that it's a hundred percent personal choices, and the reason you're not rich is because you don't work hard. And like you said, I think it's about 20% personal choices and 80% systemic factors like racism, ableism, sexism, homophobia, recession, lack of paid family leave, all of the things that you're up against as not an individual but at a society level. And so all we can do is try to navigate it to the best of our ability to try to take care of ourselves so that when we're taken care of we can start changing the world for everybody else. But I think that starts with, like you said, financial wellness. That starts with you putting your oxygen mask on first. You can then help others, and so you can also create a plane where everybody gets an oxygen mask. It's not just for a select few individuals.

Bobbi Rebell:

Tori, thank you so much. I love watching your star shine brighter and brighter. Tell everyone, the few people that may not know where to follow you, find you, all the things we know everyone, your book, your book is everywhere. Sold out some places, by the way, let's just put that out there, but give your plugs.

Tori Dunlap:

Thank you, Bobbi, for your support of me since the beginning. Her First 100K is where you can find me, H-E-R-F-I-R-S-T100k.com. @herfirst100k on all the socials, and I host the Financial Feminist podcast and I'm the author of the Financial Feminist book.

Bobbi Rebell:

Thank you, Tori.

Tori Dunlap:

Thank you.

One of my favorite things Tori said was when she talked about financial wellness- saying put on your oxygen mask first so you can help everyone- but also think about creating a plane where everyone gets an oxygen mask. 


This week’s extra credit is inspired by Tori’s idea of taking care of yourself first. Think of a gift you would bring to a friends party- a hostess gift basically. Something inexpensive that just shows thoughtfulness. And buy it for yourself. In my case I bought the shower equivalent of bath bombs that I recently discovered at my local Target. They are called shower steamers. I got the mixed scent one which has lavender, coconut and vanilla. It cost about $10. 



If you are enjoying this podcast- please share with your community - take a quick screenshot and share on social- tag me at bobbirebell1 on instagram and please follow me on tiktok where I post tips and clips from various media appearances - and get some free money tips by subscribing to my substack newsletter- bobbirebell.substack.com. 


And thanks to Tori for helping us all be financial grownups.- let’s all remember to invest in peace of mind.  

 
Bobbi Rebell KaufmanTemplate