Peer money pressure for kids with Fitmoney.com’s Jessica Pelletier

 

Episode Description:

Kids are heading back to school and facing lots of different social pressures tied to money. Jessica Pelletier shares her insights on how to give the next generation the best values and priorities to set them up for success as financial grownups

 

Jessica Pelletier’s Bio: Executive Director, FitMoney: FitMoney is a philanthropic nonprofit who provides free, unbiased financial literacy programs to help K-12 students develop life skills for a financially fit future.

 
 

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Full Transcript:

Bobbi Rebell:

Being a financial grownup is hard- That’s why we need to be focusing on financial wellness. According to PwC, the majority of employees said that financial worries had a negative impact on their overall health and well-being. Money stress is expensive for companies- workers are less productive, and more likely to leave a job. They also have higher healthcare costs when they are worried about finances. As if health care costs weren’t already sky high. Financial Wellness Strategies is here to help by providing engaging and yes, delightful workshops and educational programs for employees to better control their finances. Anyone can lecture and run numbers. We talk about real life money stuff.

Topics include 

-setting up the best grownup everyday money habits

-managing those social media temptations to splurge.

-strategies to shop for the best deals

-demystifying and really understanding financial lingo

-strategies to steer friends and family away from bad money decisions. 

-and how to know when you should ignore the math that says you “should’ do one thing with your money, and focus on your goals, even when it isn’t the best “financial decision”. 

 

It's time for your company to invest in peace of mind with Financial Wellness Strategies. Get in touch at FinancialWellnessStrategies.com.

 

Welcome to the Wellness for Financial Grownups podcast. I am your host Certified Financial Planner Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups and the founder of Financial Wellness Strategies. 

It’s been back-to-school time and many of us have either sent a kid back to school or are hearing a lot about it from friends and family. Life has become a lot more complicated for the next generation especially when it comes to money. We may not want to talk about it but kids are hearing about it and thanks to the internet and social media- often get info and advice that is not in line with what our values. 

That’s where my guest comes in. 

But first: this week’s quote. It is from famed investor Warren Buffett and very appropriate for the students getting back into their school routines: “The more you learn, the more you earn.”

This week’s guest is the executive director of non-profit financial education venture FitMoney- Jessica Pelletier. 

In our conversation we discuss the challenges faced by kids today- some of which are not new but many of which - thanks to social media and all the technology kids have- can create very complicated situations - and conversations. 

She shares some very solid and insightful advice that we can all take to heart. Here is Jessica Pellentier. Jessica Pelletier, you are a financial grownup. I'm so happy to have you on the podcast.

 

Jessica Pelletier:

Bobbi , I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

You are the executive director of Fit Money, which is a nonprofit focused on educating kids and so much more. Briefly tell us about that.

 

Jessica Pelletier:

That's exactly right. We are a non-profit. We provide curriculum tools and resources and games for teachers, schools, and even now families to get engaged with their kids to teach them about money.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

And this is the perfect time to have you on because many of us have kids, grandkids, children of friends, children we just love and adore that went back to school. And it's a great time to be talking about kids' relationship with money, not just directly us teaching them lessons about money, but among their peers, because we don't always think about it, but there's a lot of money lessons happening in the classroom that aren't specifically labeled as money lessons, but they have to do with their peer relationships. What's your general take on how you manage kids, money, and their friends.

 

Jessica Pelletier:

I think the most important thing is what you just said. We need to realize that our kids, no matter how young they are, are listening and they already have a relationship with money. In my line of work, research shows that financial behaviors are really formed by age seven. And so I think that's kind of shocking for a lot of parents and aunts and uncles to hear because they think we really don't have a relationship with money until you have your first job. But that's just not true, like you say. They're watching mom and dad swipe their credit cards, order things on Amazon. They're watching stressful situations when you're having to make decisions about what you can and cannot buy. And even on your wants, we all seem to be kind of cutting back. And they're making assumptions on what it means and what is this thing called money that all of our adults are using today.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

And it gets very complicated because as they get older and they start to be more independent and start to do things with their friends and classmates, money can come into the picture in unexpected ways. For example, you may have a child that wants to be very generous and they wanna pay for all of their friends' stuff, of course, with your money. Let's say you've given them money. Let's say it's age appropriate and maybe they're in middle school or high school and they've got money on an app. They'll say, oh, I'm treating my friends. I want to be the giver. What do you think? What do you say to a kid? What's your take on that?

 

Jessica Pelletier:

yeah, I mean, look, it's a wonderful notion we love to say, pay it forward. And it doesn't have to just be with money. You can do yard work for a neighbor. You can do lemonade stands, you know, and donate what you've earned. I'm really amazed at our young people today at this volunteer-centric youth that we have, which is wonderful. You know, my... My nine-year-old is constantly talking about lemonade stands and where he's going to donate that money. But I do think that it's important for us to display our values at home. I think kids probably get that inclination maybe because they're seeing their parents or grandparents be that way. Maybe their parents are constantly picking up the tab at dinners. But you really need to watch what's happening because... As we say, perception is not always reality. I think with social media, we know that well enough now that what we're seeing is probably not what's going on behind the camera. And so families value money in a different way. Some really like experiences and vacations. Some like stuff, some like more expensive cars. And so it's really important to just talk about your values as a family and talk about what's important to you. Because I think the biggest problem today is people are still so afraid to talk about money.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

It's so true and it's awkward because you don't want to tell a child not to be generous, but yet they can't just constantly be treating the other kids or vice versa. Sometimes you have a situation where you have a kid who may or may not have more financial resources, but maybe has more on their app or whatever, who's treating your child constantly and the child doesn't really think that much about it. And that can be awkward too. How do you sort of manage, what do you say to the child in those situations?

 

Jessica Pelletier:

Again, I think it's just so important to be as transparent as possible. And, you know, I have a nine and a 12-year-old and I certainly have not taken out my mortgage statement to discuss exactly where every penny is going. But we do talk about it at the dinner table and we do talk about, you know, when things are going well at work and sometimes that's rewarded in the form of money, you know, increased money, sometimes not so well. We see a lot of people today really struggling with, you know, the way the economy is going. So I think as long as you're transparent and you're really watching what's happening, if your child is coming home with new things or they mentioned that they had the extra ice cream, where did that come from? And really just try to understand where they're placing their value. You don't want a child to place value on a person because they either have or don't have money. There are so many other things that obviously make a person valuable in your life. Again. the friendship, the camaraderie, the athletic ability, things like that we really wanna talk about and make sure that they don't just kind of align themselves with people that are perhaps maybe picking up the tab or they're getting friends because maybe they're being the generous ones.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

It is so complicated, right? And that's something that we'll continue on through life. So it's important to get to those values very early, as you say, and let them know that you don't have to treat everybody in order for them to be your friend. And if someone's treating you all the time, maybe you have to say, let me treat you back. Or maybe if you don't have the allowance money, whether your family has money or not, but you may have an allowance that's not the size that you can treat them or funds treat them. Find other activities to do so that the other person isn't always treating you. And you mentioned social media, so complicated. Do you have any advice for parents, grandparents, or other people who have young children, or children, teens, whatever it is, in their lives that are grappling with sort of seeing these numbers out there and either feeling less than, or feeling, sometimes people feel very guilty if they have more than their friends, and it's not necessarily earned at that age.

 

Jessica Pelletier:

You're so right. You know, money brings about so many emotions and feelings to people, you know, certainly those that don't have, that's a feeling of panic or real struggle. And you know, our heart goes out to people that really and I think we've all been there, you know, struggle with finances. But amazingly enough, there is tend to be a guilt about having it as well.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

Is this?

 

Jessica Pelletier:

And I just think we have to. You know, we're never gonna level the playing field as far as income. There's always differences. Look, there are differences in people's athletics. There are differences in people's, you know, understanding of certain subjects. Someone's always gonna be better at science, you know, than I am. So there is always, I guess, I hate to use the word inequities, but sometimes we have to really, you know, be aware of how special that can be. We were all the same, you know, how boring that would be. But social media tends to really focus on the inequities that I think people are striving for to always have the best clothes and always have the best figure and things like that. And that's where it's so important to just be transparent and talk about it with your kids and really explain that oftentimes is not reality, as we say. I think schools are doing a better job. My son is now in the seventh grade and last year he had a digital literacy class. and it was all about the internet and social media. So I'm thrilled that schools are also partnering with parents in this space. We certainly hope that they're doing their job as well with financial literacy, which I know you and I care so much about. And I just think that is going to start rising up and kids are gonna start to have the tools they need to address things like this that are so complicated.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

And one place to get those tools is FitMoney. So tell me more about FitMoney and how people can be in touch with you and learn more about all that you're doing. Because it is, I do want to point out, a non-profit focused on financial literacy for kids, K through 12 at this point. So tell me more, Jessica.

 

Jessica Pelletier:

So, FitMoney is at fitmoney.org. And we are so excited to be philanthropically funded, which means that people care, just like you and me, about what we're doing enough to allow us the tools to give away all of our curricula for free. We don't ever want there to be a barrier to teaching financial literacy, whether you're in an inner city school or suburban, you know, private school. Everyone has a relationship with money in this country and around the world. So we need to start talking about it, and we need the basics. And we advocate that should start as early as kindergarten. So if you've got that five-year-old at home, go on our website. We've got some great games and really fun ways to talk about needs and wants, which I think is the most basic thing we need to talk about. And if you're a teacher that's got juniors and seniors, we've got tools for you as well, all completely free, and hopefully you'll just find what you need on our website.

 

 

Bobbi Rebell:

Jessica, thank you so much. This is all wonderful.

 

Jessica Pelletier:

Bobbi, it was so great.

 

Bobbi Rebell:

We all want to live our best financial grownup lives and one way to do that is to know that the people we care about are also in a good place when it comes to their money. That might mean our kids, our grandkids and yes- even our friends. But how. Its’ awkward. You see them struggling- pretending to know more than they do- or making bad money decisions but don’t know what to say- and even if you say something supportive- then what? That’s why I wrote Launching Financial Grownups. In Launching Financial Grownups I share the tools and strategies so you know what to say to take the pressure off and give those you love the confidence they need. It's about giving those we care about the right amount of help, at the right time- so they can not only learn what they need to know about being financial grownups- but also be confident they can do it- and that you will be there to cheer them on. Pick up a copy of Launching Financial Grownups - I promise you will be so happy you did. This week’s extra credit assignment is to find a young person you care about- it can be your child or just someone in your life in the process of growing up.. And open up a conversation about money. Just ask them something- anything- about what’s important to them and get it going. I promise it will be super enlightening and maybe elevate your relationship in a new way. 

DM me and let me know how it goes at bobbirebell1 on instagram. You can also reach me by getting on my substack newsletter list. That is at bobbirebell.substack.com. And by signing up you get free money tips and information twice a month, along with some perks I have planned for the near future. More on that soon. But you have to be on the list. 

Big thanks to Jessica Pelletier of FitMoney for helping us all be financial grownups and invest in peace of mind. Wellness for Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media. Editing and production by Steve Stewart, guest coordination, social media support, and show notes by Alliee Borbon. Artwork by Chelsea Perez. You can find the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show, as well as show transcripts by going to my website, bobbirebell.com. 

To get even more out of this podcast, make sure you are also on our newsletter list to get more free content to live your best financial lives. There is a link in the show notes but you can also sign up at bobbirebell.com or at financialwellnessstrategies.com. And be a friend- share the podcast with your friends by taking a screenshot and sharing it on social media. Make sure to tag me on instagram at bobbirebell1. And while your there- follow me- and if you DM me that you listen to the podcast I will follow you back. You can also leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me. You can also support our merch shop, grownupgear.com by picking up fun gifts for your grownup friends and treating yourself as well. And finally my grownup friends, don’t forget to invest in peace of mind. Thanks everyone.

 

 

 

 
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